This is not an easy post to write.....

[Redoctober]

Terrible news indeed -  I can only echo the thoughts and advice of the others above. Nothing worthwhile comes easy Ian - hopefully you will be able to stand back and shove two fingers up to whoever has caused this latest setback - [well, maybe one and a half! .]

PW.

[NSS]

Ian, I can only echo the thoughts expressed by others, and offer the prospect that your end goal will feel all the sweeter when you achieve it.  

 

On a practical note, I'm sure I'm not the only one with various 'stuff' left over from my build. Rather than sticking it in the back of the shed, I'll pm you a list in the next few days and if any of it would be helpful I'll happily have it couriered up to you. Keep your chin up.

Edited September 18, 2017 by NSS

[JohnW]

Really sorry to hear about your latest set-back Ian. Hopefully some day in the not too distant future you'll look back on this with a sense of satisfaction, saying "I got through that!".

[Pete]

Sorry to hear the news Ian. My thoughts are with you both.

[NIreland]

That's tough, feel for you but all the sweeter when's things get back on track. 

[asklair]

Bad news, I started to self-build but pulled out after the digger cleared a "few" tons of rock and five years to get planning permission.

It became the right decision through time, in fact, it was a fantastic decision and I am very relieved I backed down. I still dream of doing a self-build. Stress does kill, enjoy life, I am not saying to give up but selling your cottage to fund the project may not be the right course of action.

[Ferdinand]

Ian

 

Dreadful news after all you have done / been through. I do not think I have a construction cocktail for this.

 

Have PM'd you with a couple of items and offers to help where I currently am able.

 

Those nearly free kitchens on Ebay we were talking about may be looking attractive at this point.

 

Ferdinand

 

Edited September 19, 2017 by Ferdinand

[Barney12]

Hi Ian, 

 

Banks and bankers they all have a silent 'W'   but you'll find a way through this. As Churchill famously said:

 

"If you're going through hell. Keep going!"

[Gone West]

Don't give up Ian. You are certainly capable of doing the work yourself. It will take a bit longer, but just pace yourself. What's the rush, there's always tomorrow.

[ToughButterCup]

Gulp.  A very cheering thing to wake up and read your responses. And PMs. I'll reply to everyone when our heads are facing forward rather than down.

 

Debbie and I are re-calibrating. Too many variables to filter in the academic way in which we have both trained. The powerful urge simply to keep going might - just might - distract from getting the project completed within our means. There's little point in ending up like this for example Thanks  @oranjeboom

 

We are trying hard to cut emotion out of the mix. But it gets in the way too easily at the moment. And alcohol - well we're trying to limit that to Friday night only. I said trying

 

A bit like Kevin WotsHisFace, when his interviewees are up against it,  he takes them out for a look around  and hopes they find inspiration. 

Time for a bit of a walk around, shout at some seagulls, and a bit of local networking.

 

[JanetE]

This is really bad news.

Don't know if this helps but we got our mortgage on the current house, interest only repayment, with Monmouthshire.  They are fully aware that we are building a new house and will repay the mortgage when we sell without any penalty.  

We also have a few items left from our build, will PM you.

[SteamyTea]

Ian

Have you considered a holiday.  Maybe a week in the sun, or God forbid, Canada, may help.

[Lesgrandepotato]

52 minutes ago, recoveringacademic said:

 

A bit like Kevin WotsHisFace, when his interviewees are up against it,  he takes them out for a look around  and hopes they find inspiration. 

Time for a bit of a walk around, shout at some seagulls, and a bit of local networking.

 

 

Your always welcome to pop up to ours with Debbie for a spot of insipration keep meaning to drop past but everytime i'm on that road its either dark or chucking it down... 

[jamiehamy]

When I worked in car sales,  we had a great boss, really chilled and reasonable. He told us of the night two customers came in complaining about some light scratches on their car. The background was they bought a car that was a few years old and were not happy with a lot but ended up demanding that any tiny flaw was fixed. Tommy had had enough of them by the time they came in that night to complain about more trivial things (if they wanted a perfect car they should have bought a new one) . So he sat them down and told them he would fix everything they wanted, even although he disagreed with them. He had one condition. They had to go up to York hill Sick Kids Hospital and visit for an hour or so. Only then would he authorise the work. Never saw them again. 

 

You'll find your own way of getting perspective but once you do, it'll all seem a bit brighter. I often say to my other half when we have problems that we're pretty lucky to have them in many ways - the real hardship of having Windows two shades of grey is none at all. So we can't afford the UVC until nearer Christmas? Poor us. It's probably why we've never been too stressed with the build. Hopefully you'll end up in the same place (metaphorically!). 

 

 

 

[ToughButterCup]

Thanks @JanetE and @SteamyTea.

An interesting nugget that Janet. We'll think about it.

 

We're both working at channeling the annoyance into positive action. At this stage it would be easy to misdirect effort. So often we have been (and Debbie still is) in the position of having to advise others about how to dig themselves out of crises. Well, now it's our turn.

 

A walk along the shore at the mouth of the river Lune is what's called for this morning. And then get some of the joints between the blocks foamed up in preparation for a bit of rendering. 

[AliG]

Awful news, I am better with money than building so would offer any help I can.

 

We could all go through a myriad of options available, but maybe you need a bit of time to think about what would work best for you guys and then people can offer any advice to get you there.

[Jimp]

So sorry to hear about your set-back. I hope you find a solution to your problem without too much delay.

 

Jim

[ragg987]

Sorry to hear the news, Ian.

 

In case this helps, our build mortgage process was the most stressful part of our build. We had it all agreed, but once the formal application went in all sorts of obstacles started to be presented even though all the aspects had been discussed and agreed on the initial query. I owed a builder over £100k and was unable to pay it all until the mortgage came through.

 

After over 10 weeks of this and with no end in sight (process was supposed to take 6 weeks) I rang the BS and asked to speak to the CEO. It went to his voicemail and he (unexpectedly) called me back later in the day. Funds were released within three working days, so all credit to him for seeing it through. We turned the corner after this and all later issues to build completion were minor in comparision.

 

I subsequently complained to the Financial Ombudsman who disagreed with a lot I said but directed the BS to pay me a few hundred pounds for messing me around.

 

Another piece to the funding - we tried to stick it out in our current house during the build as we thought it would be upsetting to move us and the kids into rented temporarily and then into the completed house. In the end we had to sell and rent for 6 months - this was a very good move as it immediately released a pot of money that would see us to the end of the build without restriction. The inconvenience of the temporary rental was trivial. Funny how you can get fixated on an idea but in the end it is not important.

 

As someone said earlier - cash is king.

[swisscheese]

Yes - this is sh*t, and without wanting to repeat all that has been said, now is the time to stay focused, and try not to get distracted or fixated by small detail or recrimination.

 

2 hours ago, recoveringacademic said:

 

We're both working at channeling the annoyance into positive action. ....

 

All this is easier said than done I know,  but as you have shown so far, you will pull through this and find the way best suited to you, explore options, stay focused, find solutions, essentially everything you have done to get this far.

Edited September 19, 2017 by swisscheese

[Jml]

Fingers crossed you find a nice easy and quick solution.

[oldkettle]

@recoveringacademic, sorry to hear the news, I thought you had enough of those already. Somehow I am sure you will find a way as the two of you are simply too smart not to. Just take care of yourselves please and it will come together. 

[Thedreamer]

Hopefully your over come this and look back on this as a small set back.

 

I had one today myself, but I know I'll over come it.

 

Although they are a necessary evil for many self builders, it's never a good match, when on your side it's dreams, energy, passion and on theirs it just a click on the computer and a no thanks. 

[TheMitchells]

On 18/09/2017 at 19:03, jack said:

Ian that's horrible news. You have my deepest sympathy.

 

I'd be very happy to donate a few days of my time at some point if it helps. Skills aren't so strong, but I have all my fingers, am stronger than I look, and am a highly efficient biscuits-to-work converter.

 

No need to reply now, but have a think about it in due course.

 

Keep your pecker up in the meantime. 

me too!  Once we have finished on our renovation, I am sure we'd be up for the odd weekend in Lancashire!

the banks are right &&$$!!'s.

[craig]

You know help is available if and when you need it and from many sources, hope things get better (I know they will) - chin up.

Edited September 19, 2017 by craig

[Onoff]

Right...practical cap on...

 

I've found with the "institutions" that a verbal complaint, such as with the NHS or to the head teacher in the playground sees aims to pacify you but often nothing gets done. The only thing that works nowadays is formal letter of complaint backed up with a copied email. For the 99% of "parents" who moan only one writes. And they don't want OFSTED seeing that without it having been dealt with. The thing is with big organisations that they all have "targets", "annual reviews" and complaints procedures. Everyone down the line is also fearful for their job security so doesn't want a black mark. I would write a formal letter of complaint, to the top, giving dates and naming names. Say obviously about the emotional & financial turmoil this has caused, that you would never have undertaken "this" if you hadn't been led to believe "that". And copy in the FSA. Google the lenders press and advertising slogans if helpful and try and throw that at them. Add in having a dig about their environmental policy (you should be able to find it online) and that denying you funds hardly fits in with it. Add in "being non supportive of self build, low energy homes etc".

 

Do this on the basis of nothing lost nothing gained for a couple of hours of your time.

 

Good luck.

Edited September 20, 2017 by Onoff
Ofstead > Ofsted