Ferdinand

This is fun. A video from BBC archive about a neighbour dispute in 1971. https://www.bbc.co.uk/archive/eyesore-the-law-of-ancient-light/zfjrscw

I read the title as "Symphonic", which seems more appropriate. (Gets coat)

I believe there are also various kinds of mat products that you can lay down on top.

Welcome. Have you posted an introduction in the Introduce Yorself forum -- always appreciate ! My first point of contact would be Building Control; they may even come and visit now that we are on the way out of lockdown. Areas you need to be sure about are light, as you say, and fire escape. For fire escape, I think you will need a "protected escape route" (that is, a sealed way out which will endure x minutes of fire, not through another room especially the kitchen), or an alternative such as a fitted sprinkler system if you do *not* have a protected escape route. I think clerestory windows are likely to be OK, but they do make it more limited as a room - so you will need to design carefully. Another Question to consider: will you be able to let it out in the future with just clerestory windows (my view: probably, but rules vary). This may not matter but you may wish to keep it as an investment when you move. For your plan I think you your best route would be to have a firedoor between the hall and the lounge-kitchen, so that your escape route from that bedroom goes to the front exit through just the hall. Suggest drawing up some draft project plans, reading the relevant Building Regs Doc, then talking to Building Control. Ferdinand

I used black gloss £11 600x600 porcelain floortiles.

I would hope that "every few years" is more than seven.

There is a reason that Swale Dale is so floody.

@pocster does not believe in minimising grief. He does it the most difficult way to prove that he can. Deranged. On the Macerator he will be installing a special fan to have the stuff land on when it leaks.

If you have access to a thermal camera it is early enough in the year to spot leaky insulation from outside on a cool day using a thermal photo. Also, remember that new houses can also take some time to dry out. Perhaps up to a year to really stabilise. That does not mean do not investigate, however.

I'd investigate cladding one, and doing a half height veranda on the other with short metal drainpipes running down to the top of the veranda roof.

No but he was very good at tunnels ?.

Is your middle name Thorin?

Right. Have lunch taken. There are a number of potential ways to skin this cat. You will also need comments from others on the individual merits, but I can lay out some approaches. Feel free to ask any questions. As it is such a big question I have not defined everything to a T. First, however: 1 - You are likely to need to reconsider partially the aesthetic of your house, if you want it to look like your changes were "intended". 2 - This could swallow a decent chunk of your contingency. To do it well you are going to be looking at up to £30-60 per sqm of wall. But you save on the render ?. 3 - Inexpensive is possible, but to get it to look (as I say) intended, it will be a fair amount of work. 4 - In my opinion, you are going to want some design advice from a pro of some sort on this. 5 - You may want different approaches on the 2 facades - the one photographed looks easier than the other. 6 - Consider alternative shapes of drainpipes eg 61mm square or alu or copper. 7 - You will need to do some careful thinking and sketching, perhaps samples. 8 - I think you want a mix, and you need to do some really careful playing with piccies and models to get it right. 9 - You may need to reconsider your roof thresholds and window surrounds. Now get some gin. If you are sitting comfortably, let us begin with the problem statement: House designed and built to ready-for-external-finish stage with a number of mansard windows in 2 facades, which contain a side-to-side "through gutter" in the framework of each window. The problem is that a design for the overall guttering has not been considered, and now appears to require drainpipes between each pair of windows, which will disturb the desired appearance. How can water drainage from roof to ground be implemented without so many obvious downpipes? There are different approaches - eg you could camouflage your downpipes, cover them, make them look intended, or find another route for the water. It is an advantage that your wall finish is not .. er .. finished. 1 - The simplest of all - make the downpipes the same colour as the render. Will be better, but not much imo. 2 - Cancel the downpipes. a - Let the water run down the surface of the wall. I have never seen this, though it is perhaps possible eg if you clad with a vertically textured material such as black corrugated oriented up and down. Equally you could try and detail an appropriate render eg with vertical channels for your water. It is quite common to do details where water will concentrate on concrete surfaces - eg vertical striations down from the end of windowsills on a concrete wall, which will disguise staining. b - Do a traditional "secret" or "hidden" gutter joining up all the built in gutters across the windows, and a drainpipe at the end. That is a gutter on top of the wall with flashing underneath, or behind a slightly taller wall, with some adjustment to the bottom one or two rows of tiles and the structure. May be possible to retrofit, but to me looks a tough project to do and a long-term nightmare to maintain. 3 - Hide the downpipes a - Clad the wall with a suitable material say 3-4 inches out, so the pipes can go behind it. That could be wood cladding (vertical or horizontal orientation), tile hung, or any other. Even brick slips. b - Put them in and grow evergreen climbers, with over the whole wall or over sections. c - Create some feature sections on the wall to hide them or make them look OK. (Example of cladding - dimensions right and the drainpipes can be behind). 4 - Make the downpipes look intended. a - Can be done with cladding, eg vertical format edge-on-then-flat 4x2s (that will give a "finned" feel with gaps between fins where your piped can go), perhaps black or metal pipes with scorched larch (https://shousugiban.co.uk/range/charred-larch-cladding/) or similar. Or an artificial material. The texture / pattern will disguise downpipes. b - Decorative as ButterCup says above. Or you could try that simply with bold copper etc pipes and lay them out to look attractive. c - You could even go for metal slats at right angles to the wall, as used on offices sometimes as sun-shades. 5 - Veranda / brieze soleil a - Put in a one or two storey veranda to hide most of the run. Perhaps something you can sit under. Would be a nice addition to those French Doors. b - Make one of those wooden brieze soleil things and hide them behind it. 6 - Put PV or solar thermal panels on it and put the pipes behind them. My take. Ferdinand

No, there isn't. BH (or at least my bit of it) is "husk-off". Though I admit I have just come from debating Ursula VDL with certain Brussels based journos who seem to view themselves as (very) amateur press officers for the institution of the EU, and are trying to blame everything on anybody else - specifically us. So it has been robust ?. And that may have stuck to me. Yes, ve can vork it through. F

OK. Help me understand. This is a nearly finished self-build with a glitch in the design? Am I correct that the horizontal black lie at the bottom of the roof is a gutter than runs in front of the half-high window frame section? Or is it 2 separate windows with the upper set back? If it is a newbuild, who made the design cockup? Not properly considering drainpipes counts as a cockup. (There may be comeback on an architect, depending.) And am I correct that the entire wall is rough stonework - not just a decorative section? Do you have a photo? Of both problem elevations? I understand that this is both elevations of the house. I have thoughts, but could you just comment on the Qs. Cheers Ferdinand

I suppose it beats hanging from scaffolding by your underpants...

To @Onoff Do your own homework, you lazy booger. It's everso easy to find. Yours is not accessible. It includes all those recesses and dolphins, which offend taste and dazzle the eyes into blindness.

I honestly don't know how I'd call it in a new development. I use a PIV, sometimes with one or two HR trickle fans, to make sure that when renovating leaky old houses to be more airtight there is a degree of resilience against tenants who choose damp lifestyles. Obvs as good as possible fabric - on insulation and leakiness - is the start. If MVHR is a no go (after checking what it would if put in at design stage) then I think I would provision design and wiring for PIV and HR trickle fan. Probably it makes sense to put the fans in loo / bathroom anyway as something is needed, and leaving a gap under the doors to ensure circulation. And then take a view. F

I thought that was the last one. How many Mother-in-Laws has he got?

Look at a previous one to check robustness. Post spacing not specified.

Welcome. Here, off-topic is on-topic, as we help you find all the things you hadn't thought about.

Oh yes. It's sharp if you play games with big-boys. When we were negotiating with housing developers on a land sale, one tried to have a clause making us responsible for costs if their project failed.

If you get Blackthorn you can make sloe gin....

Potentially Myrtle. Grown by my Gran on the Beach Road in Prestatyn. Or look for shiny or narrow leaves which will let less nasty in. What about Holly? Or Holm Oak is a good one which is hedgable. Or maybe things like Cotoneaster.

Are tthere ways in which you can provide alternative parking spaces or garages? eg by buying a bit of land close by, or leasing spaces or something? Purely on house value and budget, it might be worth it. Might involve a bit of mouth-stuffing with gold.