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How much abuse do you take for self-building?


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Just had a venerable member of the local Mafia (the 'NdrahangetaInMyBackYard group) walk past our build.....

 

No prompting, no previous, no altercation, no nothing and then this

"What are you putting on your roof?"

"Oak shakes as explained on the planning application"

"Well, I could forgive you if you were putting slates on like everyone else"

 

"Well If I pay the pizzo, would you forgive me? After all we're only a  thousand miles or so from Corleone"

Is what I wish I'd said. As it was, she got away with a simple tight-lipped stare from me. 

 

What gratuitous nonsense have you had to put up with from random passers-by?

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Actually I've been surprised how many passers by have randomly complimented me on our house. Given it's a big white box with cantilevered bits, it does challenge the street scene somewhat. Neighbours are a different story.

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Ours has NOT been popular, and we haven't even flaming started yet! A big, flat roofed. modern, zinc clad and white structure doesn't really match in with the medieval street round the corner. Despite the fact that it can't be seen from the street, we have had many people "mentioning" the "inappropriate use of modern materials", lack of pitched, slated roof, entry way from the street, etc etc etc. Also, just walking into the site when there's work going on! Past a tractor and 20 tonne trailer, just wandering about like someone with profound memory loss. When challenged, they said "but we just want to know what's going on? We're not doing any harm". Unbelievable. 

 

Lots of NIMBYs round our way. We should have just built a block of flats like everyone else and run away with the money. 

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Best one I've had so far is ....

 

"Well we were never consulted by the council ..! I've a mind to ring the MP and complain ..."

 

Didn't have chance to say it's had PP since 2002, renewed twice, altered twice and we are building iteration number 4, approved in 2014.....

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We have a public path that runs down the side of our property into the countryside, so we get a lot of locals passing. Although we get lots of positive comments about our very modern house, I've been surprised how willing people - even people we know well enough to have a quick chat with - are to make properly negative comments.

 

I don't mind the "it's nice, although I prefer traditional buildings" comments.  We get those a lot.  I usually reply by pointing out that modernist buildings are nearly a century old (eg: Villa Savoye), and that every era in history has had its own architecture. I then ask whether we should now just build pastiches of Georgian and 1930s architecture forever into the future. Usually shuts them up, even if they don't agree.

 

One chap I know reasonably well saw our brick slips going up and said they looked good. I said thanks, and they'll look even better once they've been painted white. "Oh no, I don't like that at all".  "No worries, feel free not to paint your own house then".

 

I get it that some people don't like modern houses. I don't get how willing people are to make positively rude comments directly to my face!

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I suppose I'm quite fortunate in that my very small build, using simple materials, has received nothing but positive comments from neighbours and passers by. We received no objections at the planning stage either, and almost every person who lives on the road has in some way helped with the build, whether that be by helping lift the frame, or lending me a scaffold tower, or spending a day on the roof helping me install the membrane (not a one man job). I've actually got to know some of my neighbours much better thanks to the project. It's been great to have everybody on-side.

I did speak to the nearest neighbour when drawing up the plans, and the house is sited so as to preserve his view of the Outer Hebrides from his studio.

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21 minutes ago, jack said:

We have a public path that runs down the side of our property into the countryside, so we get a lot of locals passing.

[...]

I get it that some people don't like modern houses. I don't get how willing people are to make positively rude comments directly to my face!

 

Exactly what happens to us. I'm so tempted on such challenges to say something like....

 

"Would you make comments like that to someone you respected?"

A wise line manager told me once to 'develop a thicker skin' She was right. Must put it back on.

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Our situation was a bit bizarre in the end.  We started off with around 14 people (neighbours) who had all very strongly objected to the previous planning applications for our site, and as a consequence it had gone to committee and been rejected (twice) before it was finally granted approval.  We needed to submit a new application, and I knew that it was going to be an uphill struggle, just because of the pretty unpleasant comments that had been made about the previous applications.  My concerns were made greater when we went to the Parish Council meeting, where the chairman started off consideration of our application by reading out the entire planning history of the plot, and reminding councillors of all the reasons they had given for recommending refusal in the past.

 

We were saved by one lady on the PC, who had been looking at the scale model I'd made, and started things off by saying that the new application looked nothing like the previous ones and that they should recommend approval.  She seemed to pretty much railroad the rest of them!

 

So, we got PP with no objections from anyone, and when we started building we only had two sorts of comments.  The first comments were about the speed they house went up (4 1/2 days), which seemed to amaze a lot of people.  The second comments were when we were putting the cladding on, when pretty much everyone was complimentary about the way it looked, with only a couple who asked how I thought the larch would weather down.  After that, our house has become a bit of a village feature, with me being asked to give a talk in the village hall about it, as lots of people seem interested in the idea of a house with no energy bills. 

Edited by JSHarris
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2 hours ago, recoveringacademic said:

Just had a venerable member of the local Mafia (the 'NdrahangetaInMyBackYard group) walk past our build.....

 

No prompting, no previous, no altercation, no nothing and then this

"What are you putting on your roof?"

"Oak shakes as explained on the planning application"

"Well, I could forgive you if you were putting slates on like everyone else"

 

"Well If I pay the pizzo, would you forgive me? After all we're only a  thousand miles or so from Corleone"

Is what I wish I'd said. As it was, she got away with a simple tight-lipped stare from me. 

 

What gratuitous nonsense have you had to put up with from random passers-by?

And how the conversation would have gone with me ;)........

 

 

 

"What are you putting on your roof?"

"Oak shakes as explained on the planning application"

"Well, I could forgive you if you were putting slates on like everyone else"

 

 

"well guess what my love, your in luck today!"

 

"why? Are you actually putting slates on instead of the oak shingles?"

 

"no. Your in luck because I'm not asking for your forgiveness, now piss off before I gas nail a pork chop to you and release my hungry dogs. Have a nice day Y'all"

✌️️ 

 

Why develop a thick skin when your confronted by rude arseholes? A better saying than your line manager came up with is "if you've got nothing good to say, keep your trap shut" ?

Word. 

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Maybe the difference in our approach, @Nickfromwales , is accounted for by my age: I'm too long in the tooth to threaten old biddys. She did have the grace to beat a hasty retreat. She probably heard my ill-disguised laughter.

And I don't suppose she'll be asking for another lift to Lancaster anytime soon either. Bless her.

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We've had

 

I've lived here for 50 years, you shouldn't be changing things...As if you somehow start to own the whole area just by living there.

 

Why does anyone need so many bathrooms/two kitchens/such a big house? The irony of old people/couples living in 4/5 bedroom houses complaining that my house is too big (Seems like it would be OK if it wasn't bigger than theirs).

 

We'll see what they have to say when it is finished. No-one has had the nerve to say anything to my face. Instead they comment to the builders, my wife and bizarrely my 10 year old daughter at school as now that plans are available on line everyone seems to have had a good look at them and been talking about them.

 

As noted the further away people live and the younger they are the more complimentary people are.

 

My wife desperately wants to ape @Nickfromwales but I feel I have mellowed to the point that I would rather not get into pointless arguments. I just console myself with the thought that the whingers are so old they'll soon be dead. When their houses are sold on then my house will have always been there as far as the new people are concerned. I don't plan to ever say I've been here for x years...

 

As others say, I really cannot understand the dislike for anything modern among many people in this country. Every piece of land had nothing on it at some time, was some moratorium created in the 1960s where nothing else can be built and everything has to look the same. I do like taking arguments to their extreme to show how stupid they are. Clearly if everything had to fit in with what has gone before we'd all have to live in caves or mud huts.

 

I'm all for progress. I love a modern interesting house on Grand Designs and the like. I am also a fan of art deco which must have got people into a right tizzy when it started to go up.

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1 hour ago, Nickfromwales said:

 

 

 

"What are you putting on your roof?"

"Oak shakes as explained on the planning application"

"Well, I could forgive you if you were putting slates on like everyone else"

 

 

"well guess what my love, your in luck today!"

 

"why? Are you actually putting slates on instead of the oak shingles?"

 

"no. Your in luck because I'm not asking for your forgiveness, now piss off before I gas nail a pork chop to you and release my hungry dogs. Have a nice day Y'all"

✌️️ 

 

I'm told that,in certain parts of Wales,friendly conversations between Mother & daughter are conducted in this fashion :)

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Our neighbours once told me they "didn't realise the house would be so big". That despite me giving them copies of the full plans including a "street scene" showing our house and theirs all to scale on one large sheet of paper. I also showed them a model I'd made from architectural foam board. Not really sure how I could have been any clearer in advance.

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13 minutes ago, Temp said:

Our neighbours once told me they "didn't realise the house would be so big". That despite me giving them copies of the full plans including a "street scene" showing our house and theirs all to scale on one large sheet of paper. I also showed them a model I'd made from architectural foam board. Not really sure how I could have been any clearer in advance.

I looked at a plot of land where the neighbour's had to give approval for the plans.

 

They said they would not approve anything that overlooked their house and garden.

 

They sent me previous plans of a house they had approved with numerous windows overlooking their garden.

 

Most people can't read plans.

 

From the day my house was designed their were pillars in the hall holding up the cantilvered landing.

 

I had discussed these with my wife and shown them to her. We were disappointed as we didn't want pillars.

 

When the stair designer created a 3D model of the hall with pillars in it she lost it due to the unexpected pillars.

 

The pillars are now gone.

 

Most people can't read plans.

 

Most people don't listen.

 

Your wife is always right.

 

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4 hours ago, Bitpipe said:

Actually I've been surprised how many passers by have randomly complimented me on our house. Given it's a big white box with cantilevered bits, it does challenge the street scene somewhat.

 

We ve had similar - lots of people stopping to take pictures or "admire the architecture" as one commented last week. Yes, there are those that don't like it, although I m sure a large proportion of these are just down to green eyes. Being so modern, I m sure the older generation are nt so keen on it, but then they ll be gone soon so it wont offend them. I ve often also asked the question of whether people living in mud huts criticised the first brick built house builders with phrases such as "they are out of character with our houses" and "they look to modern".

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Whilst I've been luckier than many, I do tend to take the view that, if possible, confrontation is best avoided. These people are going to be your neighbours for potentially a long, long time, and being on good terms with them simply makes life far more pleasant. In my experience it's very difficult to undo a falling out. And you might be left crawling back asking someone to feed your cat for the weekend, when previously you've told them to eff off.

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2 hours ago, recoveringacademic said:

Maybe the difference in our approach, @Nickfromwales , is accounted for by my age: I'm too long in the tooth to threaten old biddys. She did have the grace to beat a hasty retreat. She probably heard my ill-disguised laughter.

And I don't suppose she'll be asking for another lift to Lancaster anytime soon either. Bless her.

Ok, in mitigation you didn't say they were of the 'older' generation. :ph34r:

 

I do however still dislike people who will..... 

1 hour ago, AliG said:

soon be dead.

:D

deciding how the landscape should appear for the decades after their demise, and the same for folk who still have a few miles left on the clock but great big noses. 

Green eyed monster syndrome for the majority. 

 

1 hour ago, Brickie said:

I'm told that,in certain parts of Wales,friendly conversations between Mother & daughter are conducted in this fashion :)

Whatever gave you that impression :ph34r:xD

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Never had any derogatory comments per se although I thi k it's the height of bad manners when showing someone a potential tile or piece of cladding or whatever and people blurt out 'oh I really don't like that'. Like others I don't even pause before replying that they probably shouldn't buy them for their house then. 

 

However being asked -'Are you going on Grand Designs' ad nauseum is certainly abuse. I just say 'No'  and move on now...  :-) 

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2 hours ago, AliG said:

Why does anyone need so many bathrooms/two kitchens/such a big house? The irony of old people/couples living in 4/5 bedroom houses complaining that my house is too big (Seems like it would be OK if it wasn't bigger than theirs).

 

Theres a house that backs onto ours that's in planning for a big refurb, this is the main comment from all the objectors "The rooms are too big, it must be a potential guesthouse etc..."

 

1 hour ago, Crofter said:

Whilst I've been luckier than many, I do tend to take the view that, if possible, confrontation is best avoided. These people are going to be your neighbours for potentially a long, long time, and being on good terms with them simply makes life far more pleasant. In my experience it's very difficult to undo a falling out. And you might be left crawling back asking someone to feed your cat for the weekend, when previously you've told them to eff off.

 

Goes both ways though, which people never seem to consider when making the original complaint! 

 

There's two old dears that I always meet when doing work at the front, just like Mrs Brown and her mate off the TV. Maybe it's the Irish connection but I did laugh when they once said 'Feck the rest of them, we think its lovely'.

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1 hour ago, jamiehamy said:

However being asked -'Are you going on Grand Designs' ad nauseum is certainly abuse. I just say 'No'  and move on now...  :-) 

 

If had a quid for every time I was asked this, I wouldn't have needed a mortgage. ¬¬

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The only bad comment I had was from our immediate neighbour to the East. that's where our static caravan is sited. We hadn't even started the build and he was asking "how long is that caravan going to stay there?"  I tactfully said until the house is built, quietly omitting to say I had got planning for it to remain forever as a garden outbuilding (not for habitation after the house was complete)

 

It's irrelevant now as not long after he passed away. The house has since been sold and the new owner has no problems with what we are doing.

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4 hours ago, Crofter said:

Whilst I've been luckier than many, I do tend to take the view that, if possible, confrontation is best avoided. These people are going to be your neighbours for potentially a long, long time, and being on good terms with them simply makes life far more pleasant. In my experience it's very difficult to undo a falling out. And you might be left crawling back asking someone to feed your cat for the weekend, when previously you've told them to eff off.

 

can we add GFAM and FOAD and GSAS to the acronym dictionary?

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