Motivating other people is one thing, but ....

[newhome]

@Moira Niedzwiecka I have been in the very place you are now. I know how tough that is and I know exactly how you will be feeling xx 

[epsilonGreedy]

Back to the OP... in such demanding situations I think it is helpful to be reassured your adverse reaction is normal. Coping with challenges is one thing, dealing with the same while doubting one's own mental fortitude will double the size of the problem.

[newhome]

4 minutes ago, epsilonGreedy said:

Back to the OP... in such demanding situations I think it is helpful to be reassured your adverse reaction is normal. Coping with challenges is one thing, dealing with the same while doubting one's own mental fortitude will double the size of the problem.

 

Totally! I doubt there is anyone who has been totally motivated / in love with their build all of the time. Loss of motivation is entirely normal. 

[SteamyTea]

I always leave my homework until the last minute.  Works for me.

 

Generally, I find that having others rely on me is a good motivator.

I once had the production manager of the company I work for ask me what I actually did.  Rather than explain to the ignorant twat, I said I would stop and he would find out after 3 weeks.

I have a bad habit of making my job look easy and seemingly having a cavalier attitude towards work.  Not done me any favours.

But as the old saying goes:

"When you are in a hole, stop f@cking digging"

[Construction Channel]

I was in a similar place a few months ago,  Talking about it on here helped me a lot, so did going abroad, (Slovakia was lovely last weekend)

 

Each time I got back I picked a job, just one as even short lists were getting to depress me, 

 

I'm so easily distracted I have managed to start a whole load of jobs but just thinking about one has cheered me up quite a lot, 

[Onoff]

8 minutes ago, Construction Channel said:

I'm so easily distracted I have managed to start a whole load of jobs 

 

A man after my own heart!

[Jimbouk]

How timely...

 

I can relate to so many of these posts. Like Joe90 I have waited and worked for decades to do this build, but I’ve fallen out of love with it. At second fix, sick of people telling me how fantastic it is and how luck I am. Currently only see the annoying bits, unfinished pieces and problems. Timber frame started just over a year ago, it takes time, life is busy and I’m meant to be doing this because I want to not because I have to... I don’t think anyone that has not taken on a project like a self build can understand the rollercoaster ride it is.

 

Yes it is a ‘fortunate’ problem to have that most will never get the chance to do and even fewer take up the opportunity,  I have some good friends that are determined to get me over the line, then I will fall back in love!

 

 

[ProDave]

I am sure ALL self builders go through low points. It's almost as if it's a rite of passage in the process. You will get there, no matter how many things get in the way.

[Cpd]

7 hours ago, Russell griffiths said:

 

Just my two cents worth. 

The last place I built I did it just like a job

i was on site at 8am and stopped for lunch every day without fail and went home at 4.30, I never stay late, if somebody wanted a meeting at 5 I would say no, I’m going home for a beer come tomorrow 

i never worked on it at the weekend except for going and picking finishes and fittings. 

 

I intend doing exactly the same with this one, although I live 2 minutes walk from the new plot I never stepped foot on it all weekend,  I don’t think you can let it consume you, you need to look forward to getting on site on Monday, first thing I do when I turn up is make a coffee and lean on the shed and make a rough order of things that need doing that day, any phone calls get written on a white board in the site office and are made in a half hour period after lunch, 

 

 

 I also treat my refurb as a day job, on the tools 8am sharp, 10 min tea break at 11.30 and a one hour lunch at 1pm then another tea brake at 3.30pm and tools DOWN at 5pm. Weekends are for doing stuff i really Want to do. I find i am most motivated when working with others, i have volunteers around most of the time and though they can be work in themselves i do find that its so much easier to smash out a few big gnarly jobs if you have one or two young keen sidekicks riding shotgun. I also cannot even start to think about my day without a really big cooked breakfast, a decent healthy lunch and a feast at night. Gave up alcohol seven months ago as well as refined sugar, dairy and high carb food which has been great for my health and mind. I wake up every morning champing at the bit to get out there and build, i have to force myself to stop at all the designated times.... but thats the trick. 

[Triassic]

I also treat my new build as a day job, I start at 8am sharp and finish at around 5pm, I might work an extra hour to finish something. I have a mid morning and mid afternoon brew and don’t work weekends, that’s for family and friends. I’m not averse to taking a day off now and again to do interesting stuff or taking up the offer of a weekend away with friends. I’m with @joe90 I have no intention of getting stresssed about the build, I set the pace, I’m not on performance related pay.

[ToughButterCup]

Thanks everyone. 

I had three days off: feeling much better. Resilience levels back to normal now.  That'll have been the last time I worked a 21 day stretch. I don't  recover quite as quickly as I used to. So;

• 8 to 5 with lunch and two breaks
• every weekend off
• try and visit another build / show / building site occasionally
• stick to the knitting : but allow myself a fun job now and then
• take the dogs for a walk more often : get the bike out 
• take more notice of successes

Arse scorched by the searing heat of my own worthiness ..... ?

[jpinthehouse]

This is my first self build ,it's in our garden,we started on the 1st December,as we all know we have had really bad weather.

I treat it like a job as do others.

Work 8.30 till 4.30 when not at work stop for crib and lunch and DON'T work weekends ( I work shifts)

Due to the trades we are using sometimes ,there is no one here so I tidy up,order materials and put things in place so the paid trades have work to get on with.

The biggest question I get asked is when will it be finished ,i say hopefully December this year but it's not a target it's finished when it's finished if not before

Time off is the key, work live balance even on a self build

And reading this forum 

 

[daiking]

I took half the sockets and light switches off a bedroom wall 2 weeks ago in preparation for wallpapering... Progress nil. 

 

This weekend, Saturday, looked after kids, had to go shopping, earned some money,

Sunday, we had a family day out

Monday, chores then going round to friends later.

 

It pisses me off but I don’t want to be held prisoner by it.

 

 

[Onoff]

11 minutes ago, daiking said:

I took half the sockets and light switches off a bedroom wall 2 weeks ago in preparation for wallpapering... Progress nil. 

 

This weekend, Saturday, looked after kids, had to go shopping, earned some money,

Sunday, we had a family day out

Monday, chores then going round to friends later.

 

It pisses me off but I don’t want to be held prisoner by it.

 

 

 

You need a mug...as do I

 

[ProDave]

I need one of those. The plasterer hasn't showed up this morning and is not answering his phone.  God I hate relying on others.

[newhome]

1 hour ago, ProDave said:

I need one of those. The plasterer hasn't showed up this morning and is not answering his phone.  God I hate relying on others.

 

He says we’re part of the UK so he’s having the bank holiday 

 

[Cpd]

 

1 hour ago, ProDave said:

I need one of those. The plasterer hasn't showed up this morning and is not answering his phone.  God I hate relying on others.

 Waiting for a guy from council to turn up to a pre arranged meeting. No show. Guess he forgot it was bank holiday but could not find the time to drop me an email.......