Self building stress

[AliG]

Awesome idea, I have just texted the builder, I am sure he loves getting texts at 630 on Friday afternoon.

 

It is a Remeha, the literature says it can run-on LPG also.

[Lesgrandepotato]

And stick a payg mini mifi hub in the loft above the insulation and be sorted on the internet 

[AliG]

Thanks, that's the backup plan.

[Jeremy Harris]

18 minutes ago, Lesgrandepotato said:

And stick a payg mini mifi hub in the loft above the insulation and be sorted on the internet 

 

IF you can get a mobile signal..............

 

I'm hoping that the network enhancement that EE are undertaking, as a consequence of wining the emergency services communications contract, may actually give us a usable mobile signal.  We can't even reliably make voice calls at the moment, even leaning out of an upstairs window.

[Lesgrandepotato]

Yes, we have a similar situation. No signal in the kitchen, edge at the front door, 3G upstairs and 4g in the loft...

[Guest Alphonsox]

2 minutes ago, Lesgrandepotato said:

Yes, we have a similar situation. No signal in the kitchen, edge at the front door, 3G upstairs and 4g in the loft...

Same as us - the good news is that sticking a 4g router in the loft delivers a good wifi  signal (~10Mbit) to all areas of the house bellow.

[ProDave]

I have long since given up any notion of having a "plan" about when we will move in. But of the only thing stopping us was a lack of staircase, then I would use a ladder!!!!! (getting the furniture up may be a challenge)

 

At least living on site all the services are in. What I learned about those is they ALL took longer than they said they would, so start getting those in LONG before you think you might need them.

[AliG]

I believe they are all booked in now, it was a bit of a shock when I found out no-one had done anything about phone/broadband. I wonder if I gave the family the choice of no heating or no broadband which they would choose.

 

I would probably get by with a ladder, not sure what the family would have to say. But as you say the furniture is the problem.

 

I have just made my roughly 75th phone call of the day. I doubt I have ever made half that previously.

Edited November 10, 2017 by AliG

[jpinthehouse]

Hi

Here's one for everyone,  talk about stress and haven't started yet, digger booked for  Monday  next week,  went running with my dogs last week,  tripped over on coastal path into a heap and  on the floor,  40minute hobble home turned out fractured ankle, wearing a special boot for 4 weeks,  so have delayed the start date. Hopefully be more mobile by the time the digger turns up in four weeks. 

Thanks 

John 

[Temp]

Perhaps talk to a Physiotherapist about k-laser treatment. My son broke a finger and the surgeon recommend it to speed up healing.

 

http://www.woodfieldphysio.co.uk/laser-therapy/

[Moira Niedzwiecka]

At the moment I have done stress & am now advancing rapidly on to full nervous breakdown

Having suffered nearly 2 years of hostility & harassment from some of our neighbours who we had previously counted among our friends, we commenced our build last January.

Just as we had finished the ground works my husband was diagnosed with cancer, inoperable & incurable but he has had some really intensive treatment & we are waiting now to find out if it has been effective and what the next step is.

This has meant that I have needed to continue working full time as it is our only income.

Along with dealing with illness, financial pressures, a demanding full time job and trying to manage a self build, when I don't really know what I am doing half the time, I am spread pretty thin at the moment.

Still, it has given us both something to focus on.

However, we have had to adapt and changed our method of building to a closed panel timber frame system.

The timber frame company PYC have been great.

They pulled our project in really quickly and have been so supportive.

My husband really wanted to see the house built & as we may be short of time & I cannot thank them enough.

The roofing contractor has not been great & has caused me a lot of sleepless nights over the last couple of weeks.

Also the neighbours reported us to planning enforcement saying we had not built to the permission & had built in the wrong place, extended the footprint & built too high.

Enforcement were very surprised how accurate our measurements were & wrote back to them saying 'The development as constructed is in accordance with the plans as approved.'

I think we are now back on track.

The windows arrive on Monday & PYC are coming to fit them & finish the airtightness detailing & a few bits of insulation that could not be completed until watertight.

I think I will then be able to breathe again.

I think the camaraderie & support on build hub is so helpful.

It is stressful & there are times when you just want it all to go away.

But there is also excitement & sense of achievement and knowing that lots of you have said it is all worth it in the end.

Good luck to everyone!

 

[jack]

1 hour ago, Moira Niedzwiecka said:

Also the neighbours reported us to planning enforcement saying we had not built to the permission & had built in the wrong place, extended the footprint & built too high.

 

Some people are jealous, some people are arseholes. Your neighbours are likely both. 

 

I have no idea what to say in reply to your situation, but keep fighting the good fight. I hope your husband beats the odds - as I'm sure you know, it does sometimes happen.

[Jeremy Harris]

1 hour ago, Moira Niedzwiecka said:

At the moment I have done stress & am now advancing rapidly on to full nervous breakdown

 

 

Moira, you've had a far worse time than I did, and I got pretty low at one point during our build ( http://www.mayfly.eu/2015/08/part-thirty-seven-a-long-tale-about-water-and-life/ ).  Stress and depression are, I found, pernicious and depression, in particular, can creep up on you almost without you noticing.  It surprised me then, and I still look back at that time and wonder how I got to that state without noticing.

 

I watched a video on the BBC website this morning, made by a group of Macmillan nurses, and found it quite inspiring, in particular the comment from one that "Life is too short, do the things that you want, do the things that make you happy": http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-41932797/what-do-people-say-before-they-die

 

We both regret that my father in law, who I'd known a lot longer than I'd ever known my own father, died before we finished the build: http://www.mayfly.eu/2013/09/part-fourteen-things-can-only-get-better/ but on the positive side, he'd been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer nearly four years earlier and told by his oncologist that, with good treatment, he may have a year to live.  He had a great time for the best part of four years after that, even with the ups and downs of palliative treatment.

 

I dearly hope that your problems lessen and that the completion of your build is achieved without too much more stress.

[Moira Niedzwiecka]

Frankly, the neighbours are people whose opinions hold no value for me & I now couldn't care less.

We are keeping positive & just getting on with things.

It is a very steep learning curve for me but it is great that I have someone to ask when I don't understand things.

Only last week Jeremy supplied me with some information to take to building control that I wouldn't have had a clue about & it produced a really good outcome.

I just want to get the external finishes done, the utilities connected & the scaffolding down & then take a bit of a break over Christmas.

We have run out of money then anyway. I have just spent the last of my pension that I cashed in a couple of months ago.

We had sold our present house & were going to move to a caravan on site but had to pull out of the sale.

Can't really go through treatment living in a caravan with no proper bathroom facilities.

Hopefully we will be in a position to put it on the market in the new year.

It will be lovely when it is finished.

[Moira Niedzwiecka]

Jeremy, Thank you.

My husband too has advanced lung cancer.

The treatment options these days are so much more than was available just a few years ago.

Although sometimes difficult, the house is giving us both something else to focus on.

My initial reaction was to forget about the house, without him it was meaningless.

However, he said that we had fought so hard to get the opportunity to be able to build & every choice we had made & every decision we had taken we had done together & no matter what happened it would still be OUR house.

Challenges come in all forms. Just look at what Ian has had to face.

I am not depressed, yet, but like most people on here get stressed about delays & bad workmanship.

As I said the roofers have not been great, not turning up when they said they would & it has taken so long.

Also I get frustrated because I cannot be on site because of work & get home to find shoddy work.

I have had to ask the roofers to remove & refit some of the slates on the rear elevation as it was a crap job.

I am keeping everything crossed that the window installation goes well on Monday.

 

[ProDave]

I am so sorry to hear of your situation Moira, and people like you that seem to be coping well with it are an inspiration to others.

 

It shows this forum is so much more than a place to ask questions about how to build a house, and I am so glad we managed to get the forum up and running and now going from strength to strength.

 

[Stones]

1 hour ago, jack said:

 

Some people are jealous, some people are arseholes. Your neighbours are likely both. 

 

I have no idea what to say in reply to your situation, but keep fighting the good fight. I hope your husband beats the odds - as I'm sure you know, it does sometimes happen.

 

+1

 

@Moira Niedzwiecka  I've built 6 houses now, and each has had its own challenges.  Hold your ground and keep doing what you're doing and you will come through this stronger and with an immense feeling of satisfaction of what you have achieved.

[AliG]

@Moira Niedzwiecka that really puts all our issues into perspective. I hope that things go as well as possible with you and your husband.

 

You're right not to care for the opinions of your neighbours, some people really should think about how they affect others.

[lizzie]

Moira sending you hugs. Keep going you are doing amazingly well.

 

I have some broad similarities in as much as OH serious health issues came out after build was started and it was too late to turn back so now we have just got to get it finished, trusted professionals on budgets while I was distracted with health matters, massive overspends and we too are having to cash in pensions to finish it,  we are in our 60’s now and god knows what we will live on with not much pension left but thats not todays problem.

 

I am luckier in as much as my OH health issues are life changing but not life threatening, my heart goes out you, must be very hard. xx

[CC45]

Humbling to see how some of you are coping with pressures that I can't imagine.

 

I have a lot of respect for you.

 

C

[jpinthehouse]

Moira, sorry to hear about your situation your doing amazingly well considering, keep up the good work 

John

[ToughButterCup]

On 11/11/2017 at 22:15, lizzie said:

Moira sending you hugs. Keep going you are doing amazingly well.

 

I have some broad similarities in as much as OH serious health issues came out after build was started and it was too late to turn back so now we have just got to get it finished, trusted professionals on budgets while I was distracted with health matters, massive overspends and we too are having to cash in pensions to finish it,  we are in our 60’s now and god knows what we will live on with not much pension left but thats not todays problem.

 

I am luckier in as much as my OH health issues are life changing but not life threatening, my heart goes out you, must be very hard. xx

 

It's very moving to read posts like these. When  the phrase  thats not today's problem  as  in

 

On 11/11/2017 at 22:15, lizzie said:

[...] god knows what we will live on with not much pension left but thats not todays problem.[...]

 

is used ,  it  puts  my own insecurity and stress sharply into perspective. And maybe other peoples too. My experience tells me that it takes a high level of persistent stress and anguish to get to the point where just getting through that day is counted  a success.

 

Thanks for posting @lizzie  and @Moira Niedzwiecka, I am sure you can  count on our continuing support. Have an appropriately modest man-hug. (each)

Ian

[SteamyTea]

Morning.

I am heart warmed to see the support on here and can only imagine what life must be like for you at the moment.

Having seen the stress and disappearance of a few self builders in the past, don't be afraid to just ask, as Ian puts is, "an appropriately modest man-hug".

[Nickfromwales]

On 11/11/2017 at 13:49, Moira Niedzwiecka said:

Having suffered nearly 2 years of hostility & harassment from some of our neighbours who we had previously counted among our friends, we commenced our build last January.

Just give me the nod and they'll have a visit from the welsh mafia

 

You don't have to only speak about building here, we love a good natter and I know that your not alone here in your predicaments, and their severity, so any time you want to offload just go for it. 

When your home is finished and looking a million dollars it'll be your turn to shine, and you can then give a smug FU to the jealous hairy scrotum-faced neighbours.  

And yes, you can tell them I said that ?

 

[Moira Niedzwiecka]

Thank you everyone for your kindness & good wishes.

I am overwhelmed by your support & comments.

 

Nick, I had the welsh mafia here last week fitting the windows.

My timber frame supplier is PYC from Welshpool.

They are great lads & always lift my spirits.

 

Lizzie, keep smiling & dreaming of your fantastic kitchen. It will soon be a reality. xx