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About Me


Found 3 results

  1. A quick review of BH (and other self-build sites) shows a close correlation between any part of the self-build process and the onset of what we - and many others - would call stress. And not just minor, ignorable levels of stress either. We can easily list the triggers, and we can describe the symptoms. And to an extent we can all do something about them. But reading between the lines in many posts, I see uncomfortable levels of irritation and annoyance. Most of us don't describe it in the posts as stress, but that's what it is. So I thought I would offer links to a set of publicly available resources which might help us. Truth to be told, they have helped and are helping me: I'm just sharing them. Where possible and when time allows, I'll write a quick synopsis to help you decide whether you want to spend the time listening to it. Treat my synopsis with respectful criticism, please. My notes on what he says will be as selective as any. This post will be one of a series. This is a video of Jordan Peterson talking about risk taking. Stress is normal (1:00) Observe courage in yourself ( Catch yourself being good, effective) (1:30) Attempting something difficult is generally good for you - but perhaps not always Lift your aim up, attempting difficult stuff is a good way of encouraging mastery Proving yourself to be useful is a very positive thing - among those who recognise your efforts as helpful (2:50) If not, the opposite is the case Inform yourself about the challenge ahead, and then grasp it (3:36) Small, manageable challenges successfully faced make you braver, not less afraid. (4:20) The unknown is adventure - and might be habit forming (5:15) Jordan Peterson is a practising clinical psychologist and an academic at the University of Toronto: I refer to him because his remarks are evidence-based. It would also be fair to say that he is seen by many as controversial.
  2. Hi Everyone, Reading some problems of other forum members recently made me think about this. My build is approaching the end, I am hoping to be into my house house in early December. I have found the last two months by far the most stressful part of the build. Early on, there was a lot of heavy building work and decisions on that were made before we started, I didn't have to get involved. Recently though the amount of input required by me has ramped up such as deciding where every socket and light fitting in the house goes and sourcing items I have specified such as fires where the builder can't really just go and buy them. We have also made some last minute changes. The combination of working, and it doesn't help that I work in London but am building in Edinburgh, trying to sell our own house and also having to make decisions in conjunction with my wife on paint colours tiles, etc when up until now I could make most decisions alone has been very hard work and stressful. I am sure that everyone's build has different kinds of stress, costs being more than expected, builders who let you down, planning issues etc. So maybe it would be good to warn people what to expect and ways to make it less stressful. I thought I had put an enormous amount of work in so that it would be plain sailing once we actually started. That didn't allow for the fact that what works on paper may not work when they come to build it and that my wife only realised she didn't like some things once she saw them in real life as she struggles to understand plans. Anyway I am sure it will all be worth it in the end and my stresses are much less than other people's but maybe it's worth just telling people what to expect before they start and helping to avoid some pitfalls.
  3. @Clareandharry, one of our newest members run a blog; interesting always to read of others experience. Of the many perceptive comments they make - 'Hmmmm, its not just me then'- one sentence jumped out at me this morning '... Getting it (a caravan) safely onsite has certainly increased our confidence regarding what’s to come, but gave me awful sleepless nights in the run up...' Dare I guess, many of us are of an age where our normal circadian rhythm is 'enhanced' by internal pressures (Or as I like to think of it my very own @Onoff -read his signature line) . And waking up these days throws a switch in me. The Always On switch. And off I go wheedling deeper into this or that, growling about [....insert your topic here...], and soon you're bright awake. The resident killer senses it, and soon demands feeding (too wet outside, mice in their holes) and if you refuse your bladder gets a vibro massage. Sleeplessness. How do you deal with yours?