Steep driveway costing me my marriage

[Adsibob]

By way of update, SWMBO has slowly accepted the steep driveway... or so I thought.

Today, she was setting out to do the school run in the pouring rain. Just the wetness on the tires and driveway setts resulted in lots of wheelspin and skidding. It wasn't even cold, maybe 13C.

She couldn't get out of the drive without me explaining to her that she needed to depress the clutch slowly or slip it into second to give it less torque. She was eventually able to get out, but it made me realise that this driveway design is an absolute shambles. Come winter the thing will be completely unusable.

I think that to lift up the driveway, build a retaining wall, raise the ground level and then fix the driveway alone is maybe  7 to 9 days of work for a two man team, depending how easy it is to remove the marshalls grout from the drivesys setts without damaging the lip on the setts. If they get damaged, I may need to buy more, which is super expensive, although I do have about 180 setts spare.

 

But what I'm more concerned about is that if we build a retaining wall and raise the driveway, the whole design of the front layout will need to be rebuilt. We have brick planters clad in silicone render with lighting on the walls which will mostly be swallowed up by the higher ground level. It won't affect the planters too much, but I won't be able to have the wall lights I have on them at the moment and those are important as they help guide you into the parking space at night, without hitting the planters. We will also need to cut into the planters to create a new place for bin storage, which instead of nicely hidden in a corner of the driveway behind the planters will end up being very prominent. And we will also have to raise the bike shed. That is an off the shelf shed made by Asguard, so can easily be unbolted, but the concrete slab it is sitting on will need to be raised and the new layout may mean there is no longer a constant slope from the opening of the bike shed to the road, which will be very annoying.  

 

What a mess.

 

I reckon there might be £6k of work easily, possibly more.

 

I will post some diagrams and images at some point in case anyone has some bright ideas.

[SteamyTea]

9 minutes ago, Adsibob said:

without me explaining to her that she needed to depress the clutch slowly or slip it into second to give it less torque.

(expletive deleted)ing hell, you're brave.

[Adsibob]

1 hour ago, SteamyTea said:

(expletive deleted)ing hell, you're brave.

Well it was either that or ask her to get out of the car (in the rain) and make her watch me do it. Luckily after she tried to accelerate more gradually, she was about to get out (although there was still some sliding about). 
What a disaster.

Edited October 20, 2022 by Adsibob

[Kelvin]

Swap the car for an automatic. She clearly can’t drive a manual. Make sure you tell her that too. “Look love you clearly can’t drive a manual car. I’ve told all my internet buddies about your terrible driving skills and they agree.” Then smack her on the bum and ask where your dinner is. Sorted. 

[SteamyTea]

1 minute ago, Kelvin said:

Then smack her on the bum and ask where your dinner is. Sorted. 

And call her 'Pet', but not in a Geordie accent.

[Carrerahill]

On 14/09/2022 at 01:04, Adsibob said:

There are basically three issues that SWMBO complains about:

 

1. she has to do a hill start / hill stop every time she uses the driveway
2. the kids slip on it because it is so slippery (this has only happened once to each kid in the last month)
3. the kids could get crushed by swinging doors

Get her an automatic or driving lessons.

 

I don't get this, but why do women, generally, struggle with hill starts? 

 

Most people learn to drive the same way, (I say most as I learnt to drive in a dump-truck and tractor), they go and get lessons with an instructor, usually in a little lightweight diesel car. Both boys and girls are taught how to set off, yet, it appears that from observation, women have the biggest problems with setting off on hills (reversing, parking, getting through tight spaces...). It is said women are more gentle and careful, therefore, you would think careful clutch control would actually come more naturally to them. My mother in law is a terrible driver, actually totally awful, she panics and just goes for it once the panic is set in often doing quite mad things. No finesse, lots of throttle and will just gun it out, that is her coping mechanism, just brute force and ignorance.

 

But seriously, 1 is her issue, 2 is warranted to an extent but why is it slippery? Moss or other vegetation type stuff? Or just

the  smooth finish? 3, OK - then try to park nose down so the doors will always swing open, should reduce hazard of crush, ensure young kids are helped with getting in and out of car.

 

Could you, have the surface roughed up a bit, I don't know what the material is, but etching it a bit? Could you, break some of them out in strips where the car goes and raise them a little to add a grip zone. Could you break some out and add bands of something else. Cut out 2 tracks and add in something that compliments the paving but gives more traction like a concrete band or some other nicer material. Sorry, just thinking loud here.

 

 

 

Edited October 20, 2022 by Carrerahill

[SteamyTea]

35 minutes ago, Carrerahill said:

Cut out 2 tracks and add in something

Steam catapult?

[Carrerahill]

29 minutes ago, SteamyTea said:

Steam catapult?

With the way energy prices are going... he would need a little reactor.

 

Good shout though!

[SimonD]

3 minutes ago, Carrerahill said:

he would need a little reactor.

 

Rolls Royce will be putting those on the market soon..with some good oomph at about 400MW

[Adsibob]

@Carrerahill has a good point (not the sexism).
The Marshall setts are supplied with a wax finish, apparently to protect the actual finish during transport. It is meant to naturally wash off within 3-6 months’ use. Well we’ve been using it most days for about 2 months, and clearly it is still not rubbed off. Marshall’s have said I can speed up the process by removing the wax with Lithofin Wax Off. I will do that this weekend. Anyone know what applicator I need to use? Will a mop and bucket do, it do I need a stiff brush?

[Carrerahill]

1 hour ago, Adsibob said:

@Carrerahill has a good point (not the sexism).
The Marshall setts are supplied with a wax finish, apparently to protect the actual finish during transport. It is meant to naturally wash off within 3-6 months’ use. Well we’ve been using it most days for about 2 months, and clearly it is still not rubbed off. Marshall’s have said I can speed up the process by removing the wax with Lithofin Wax Off. I will do that this weekend. Anyone know what applicator I need to use? Will a mop and bucket do, it do I need a stiff brush?

It looks like that stuff is just a hydrocarbon solvent. I'd probably brush it on with a stiff brush and work it in, however, I think you would need a heck of a lot of it given it appears not to be used neat then washed off.

 

Ah, but there was nothing sexist about my post. I said, "yet it appears from observation" and my “generally” comment was based on manoeuvre statistics (Maycock 1995).

 

For something to be sexist I must do one or more of 3 things. I did not stereotype (I made a statistical generalisation), I did not discriminate, and I did not show prejudice, my statement was based on observed situations and stats. The first venture into my, alleged sexism, was a question based on stats. This labelling of people for stating things accurately must stop, people apply labels all too quickly because they don’t really know how to define the label properly.

 

Men are more dangerous drivers, this, from statistics on serious and fatal road traffic incidents, not a sexist comment a statistical generalisation!

 

I cannot use this in my discussion as I cannot provide a reference, however, I believe in What Car magazine, there was a survey of men and women of all ages. It asked things like difficulty found when reverse parking into a bay, hill starts, confidence in motorway merging etc. A majority proportion of women admitted to struggling with hill starts and reverse parking into parking bays. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Jilly]

Ahem, lone voice here. I feel the need to defend my sex, or even my gender...I can do hill starts, reverse parallel park and reverse a trailer. Does that make me an honorary man...?

 

Would chucking a bit of sand on the drive help to remove the coating? 

[joe90]

9 minutes ago, Jilly said:

Ahem, lone voice here. I feel the need to defend my sex, or even my gender...I can do hill starts, reverse parallel park and reverse a trailer. Does that make me an honorary man...?

 

Would chucking a bit of sand on the drive help to remove the coating? 

Hi Jilly, I don’t think anyone is being sexist here, if @Adsibobpartner was also male the same would apply, yes a good scrub with sand may help 👍

[Adsibob]

50 minutes ago, joe90 said:

Hi Jilly, I don’t think anyone is being sexist here, if @Adsibobpartner was also male the same would apply, yes a good scrub with sand may help 👍

Well technically, I think @Carrerahill’s comments were sexist/verging on sexism/bringing sec into the discussion unnecessarily.

 

 Anyway, @Jilly’s suggestion is a good one. I will give it a try.

[ProDave]

On 20/10/2022 at 12:34, Kelvin said:

Swap the car for an automatic.

Swap for a decent 4WD like my Subaru. Very hard indeed to spin the wheels even on a steep wet smooth road.  It really does need proper ice or snow to spin the wheels on a proper 4WD. 

[Kelvin]

10 hours ago, ProDave said:

Swap for a decent 4WD like my Subaru. Very hard indeed to spin the wheels even on a steep wet smooth road.  It really does need proper ice or snow to spin the wheels on a proper 4WD. 

I suspect her issue is as much about rolling backwards than over revving the engine spinning the wheels. Automatics make steep hill starts easy. 

[SteamyTea]

23 minutes ago, Kelvin said:

Automatics make steep hill starts easy. 

I had an auto Corsa, was great until it developed a fault.

Would hold a treat on any hill, second one touched the accelerator, the (expletive deleted)er cut out.

Coming out of Watford Tesco on evening it did it.

One guy in the queue very angry, so just had to point out I was doing it in purpose, purely to ruin his evening.

 

Moving house may be an option, pretty flat in Essex.

Oh hang on, homes have stopped selling, and the price is dropping.

[ToughButterCup]

What's SWMBO's solution to the problem? 

[Adsibob]

50 minutes ago, ToughButterCup said:

What's SWMBO's solution to the problem? 

She wants us to spend £££ redoing the whole driveway by taking up the setts, building a retaining wall and raising the slope so instead of a 12 or 13 degree slope, we have something much closer to flat (but not actually flat) and then relaying the setts. The setts are not stuck down to the bedding beneath them. They are just grouted in because these are Marshalls drivesys setts, so that’s how they are installed.

 

Part of me thinks this is absolute madness, part of me thinks that having spent so much on the house already, in the grand scheme of things this will be 1% more at most, particularly if not too many setts are damaged in the “ungrouting” process. We have about 200 setts spare anyway.

[joe90]

1 minute ago, Adsibob said:

Part of me thinks this is absolute madness,

What price would you put on a quiet life? 🤷‍♂️

[Radian]

19 hours ago, Jilly said:

Would chucking a bit of sand on the drive help to remove the coating? 

 

If it was sharp sand it'd give quite a bit of grip as well.

[Onoff]

All I can say is she must have a very content, secure existence to be going on about this rather than change her driving skillset etc. Christ, there's bigger problems in the World.

 

"Get out there and practise your hill starts.....after you've done dinner!"

 

 

Am I coming across as sexist?

[Adsibob]

22 minutes ago, Onoff said:

All I can say is she must have a very content, secure existence to be going on about this rather than change her driving skillset etc. Christ, there's bigger problems in the World.

 

"Get out there and practise your hill starts.....after you've done dinner!"

 

 

Am I coming across as sexist?

She's actually not a bad driver. She can do the hill starts and stops now, she was just scared that it was so slippery in rain at a very mild temperature (as was I). Her complaint is that:

1. she doesn't feel safe,
2. it's not pleasurable at all to use the driveway
3. the car will have more wear and tear as its handbrake is being tested everyday for much of the day.

1 and 2 are subjective and I'm not sure what can be done to change that.

 

3 does not sound rational to me. I googled "how long does a hand brake last" and reports: "Typically you can expect to get about 50,000 miles out of your emergency parking brake shoe with normal usage. Sometimes it may not be as much, or you may get more time out of them." Our car is approaching 40,000 miles and so I guess we could be accelerating that expiry date. My question is what happens when the handbrake cable goes? Does it suddenly fail, or does one get prior notice? 

[Iceverge]

In all my horsing around with cars I've only managed to break one handbrake cable. It was on a 15 year old Opel Vectra.

 

I was 17, you can use your imagination as to the level of delicacy employed. 

 

[Onoff]

1 hour ago, Adsibob said:

We have about 200 setts spare anyway.

 

For peace of mind give her a couple to chock under the back wheels when she parks!