Marie Turner Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 Hey folks, I just wanted to express my admiration to all of you part of this community. It's good to know that there is a place where you can find honest and professional advice. About me - the typical housewife, trying convince my stubborn husband I'm right , even when it's about man's job. 2
lizzie Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 Hi Marie and welcome. Great place this - all these lovely chaps help us girls through the maze of self build conundrums. 2
MikeSharp01 Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 Is 'girls' acceptable in post femamist era discourse when referring to women? Perhaps or perhaps not. Interesting article HERE. 2
Moira Niedzwiecka Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 TBH I am not at all precious about being called things like girl, darling, love etc. The same people would probably call a chap mate or something like that. But, hey, I was a designer in the footwear industry in the eighties & nineties and a regular visitor to the Lancashire shoe mills. I think that was where my sensitive, feminist nerve was cauterised for all time. A different time on a different planet. What really irks me is when 'girl' or similar is taken to equate to stupid. I am a novice at this self building lark & I love to learn & get free advice. I am quite capable of understanding things and even sometimes asking intelligent questions. I just hate being talked down to. 2 1
SteamyTea Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 (edited) Welcome Maria 4 minutes ago, Moira Niedzwiecka said: I just hate being talked down to. Everyone talks down to me as I am a pygmy Edited February 22, 2018 by SteamyTea 2
ToughButterCup Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 Hi @Marie Turner. You are most welcome. I'm all for a female perspective on stuff. The OH is off this week, helping me scaffold. 3 hours ago, Marie Turner said: [..] trying convince [her] stubborn husband [she's] right [...] And mostly, she's right. Which is annoying, but can be fun. 2
Moira Niedzwiecka Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 @SteamyTeaTee Hee!! Remember the sketches on The Fast Show where Arabella Weir says something & is totally ignored all the time as if she doesn't actually exist. That is just what it has been like during this build sometimes. Happened again just last Tuesday. I had gone through everything with one of the carpenters on site. Explained that I did not want him to fix an area of the cedar cladding on the roof overhang until I had put in the MVHR exhaust & intake ducts as wanted to make sure I could get at it to seal properly. Returned to site a couple of hours later to find he had done exactly what I had asked him not to do. He told me he thought I was over complicating it & the 150mm gap he had left was perfectly adequate. I explained again, very nicely, what was required & would he please remove 2 of the boards. He then muttered under his breathe & became very sullen. At which point I politely mentioned about the tale wagging the dog, asked him to remove the boards & left him to sort himself out. Guess what. The boards are still up. 2
Moira Niedzwiecka Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 Yeh Lizzie, I know. Hello, am I here, do I exist???? 1 1
lizzie Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 2 minutes ago, Moira Niedzwiecka said: Yeh Lizzie, I know. Hello, am I here, do I exist???? OH yes I know that feeling so well! 2
Moira Niedzwiecka Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 @recoveringacademic What do mean, MOSTLY 1
SteamyTea Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 17 minutes ago, Moira Niedzwiecka said: Remember the sketches on The Fast Show No, as I have not had a TV for over 20 years. But Basil Fawlty said he would have a lie down, but changed his mind and said he would hit guests instead
Jeremy Harris Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 8 minutes ago, Moira Niedzwiecka said: Yeh Lizzie, I know. Hello, am I here, do I exist???? It happens a lot, I recently heard of a company client rep, who happened to be a lady, being effectively ignored by a male client. Shocked me to hear it, even as a bloke, but then my father was hopeless at anything practical, and it was my mother that always did all the repairs and decorating, even overseeing building work on the house. I still clearly remember her giving me lessons on everything from how to prepare a surface for painting and applying paint though to how to wire a plug or replace a fuse in the fuse box. My father never even learned to drive, she did, and did all the car maintenance as well. 2 1
Moira Niedzwiecka Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 TBF I think it may have been the same if the client had been a man. I am not really that cross, just a bit disappointed. He has made a fantastic job of the cedar cladding & I think has enjoyed working on something a bit different and was enthusiastic to see what an almost finished article looked like.
Pocster Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 Welcome ! as you can tell from my avatar - I’m all man ? 2
Triassic Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 A great partner at your side is an asset, mine is called a Debbie, she’s the one with the common sense, the design flair and project management qualifications and she’s just saved £150 on our self Build insurance because of them! 2
Construction Channel Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 7 minutes ago, Triassic said: A great partner at your side is an asset, Mines called Faye, Shes the one with the patience, Truckloads of patience........amongst other things obviously also Welcome to the forum Marie, 2
Barney12 Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 (edited) Welcome! Down here in deepest darkest Devon girls are referred to as ‘maids’ and it’s most definitely a term of endearment and very much the accepted norm. In these parts you ignore a maid at your peril, it’s been known to lead to disembowelment They breed em tough down ere! Edited February 22, 2018 by Barney12 1
ProDave Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 3 hours ago, Moira Niedzwiecka said: @SteamyTea At which point I politely mentioned about the tale wagging the dog, asked him to remove the boards & left him to sort himself out. Guess what. The boards are still up. Some tradesmen just cannot work with others. On a recent job I asked for a sheet of plasterboard to be left portable as I still has some wiring to do. 2 hours later I fins it fixes and skimmed. Ignorant twit
Jeremy Harris Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 1 minute ago, ProDave said: Ignorant twit Nice change of term. I'll lay money that "twit" wasn't what you were originally going to write, Dave.............
ProDave Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 Just now, JSHarris said: Nice change of term. I'll lay money that "twit" wasn't what you were originally going to write, Dave............. I don't want to lower the tone.
ToughButterCup Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 3 hours ago, Moira Niedzwiecka said: @recoveringacademic What do mean, MOSTLY Well, mostly I let her have my way..... takes a while, but I'll stop digging now 2
Tennentslager Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 5 hours ago, Moira Niedzwiecka said: TBH I am not at all precious about being called things like girl, darling, love etc. The same people would probably call a chap mate or something like that. But, hey, I was a designer in the footwear industry in the eighties & nineties and a regular visitor to the Lancashire shoe mills. I think that was where my sensitive, feminist nerve was cauterised for all time. A different time on a different planet. What really irks me is when 'girl' or similar is taken to equate to stupid. I am a novice at this self building lark & I love to learn & get free advice. I am quite capable of understanding things and even sometimes asking intelligent questions. I just hate being talked down to. Before I ended up in social services I was a shoemaker mainly in bespoke *surgical* shoes. Once I went self employed I enjoyed the year or so I worked for a threesome of young female designers from Cordwainers College...I was the practical one trying to make their wacky designs. Vanity is Sanity if I recall ?
Moira Niedzwiecka Posted February 23, 2018 Posted February 23, 2018 14 hours ago, ProDave said: Some tradesmen just cannot work with others. On a recent job I asked for a sheet of plasterboard to be left portable as I still has some wiring to do. 2 hours later I fins it fixes and skimmed. Ignorant twit Comforting in a way to know it is not just us girls that have this problem. 2
Jeremy Harris Posted February 23, 2018 Posted February 23, 2018 One thing I learned during our build was that nobody ever does a perfect job, and that mistakes always happen unless you're super-vigilant at trying to stop them. I found communicating what was wanted pretty tough going, even after explaining why I wanted something done in a particular way. I think part of it is that people just work on autopilot and do things the way they've always done in the past, with little heed to the problems it might create for people down the line. Building seems to be one of the most insular project management jobs I've ever seen, in that it seemed to me that no trade appeared to work cooperatively with any other, they all just did their own thing unless you made it extremely clear that you had to have something done in a specific way. 1
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