Low points: and how to get out of them

[Russell griffiths]

How about a build hub local support network 

I’ve met a local lad building similar to me, we meet up once a month and drink tea and walk around his build, as I’m a couple of years in front of him I’ve been able to point out some things that worked well and some that didn’t. 
 

we have all been able to exchange some left over materials and also lend / borrow some tools. 
 

since meeting a couple of years ago we have also been out to the pub a couple of times with the wives. 
it’s handy to find someone in a similar situation who feels the pain you might be going through. 
 

I know it helped his wife to come to ours as she could see that there is actually light at the end of the tunnel, even if it’s just a distant glimmer. 
 

im in Cirencester if anybody wants a coffee or wants me to pop in and offer encouragement. 

[Andehh]

I had the first extended Christmas holidays where all I did was normal household maintenance this year! 

 

It's so worth it when you make it out the other side, I actually look back through the photos I took and chuckle at the shit shows, and emotional lows I went through, the most frustrating, the small victories, and the moments of dispair. Amazing how much relatively short periods of time soften all wounds! 

 

Keep at it team  

[MikeGrahamT21]

Not directly related to building as I’ve never done anything during the winter with my place being a renovation, but I’ve always struggled in the darker months of the year, from my birthday in late October right through to the end of February.

 

one thing which always perks me up is when things start to grow again, snowdrops, hellebores, crocus and followed by the other spring bulbs, you know better times are on the way. Appreciate the full on self builders won’t have much of a garden, but you can always have a walk round where you live. The dull days really don’t help, and this January has been the dullest my 10 year old solar panels have experienced so far!

[Gus Potter]

On 26/01/2026 at 09:09, ToughButterCup said:

This time of the year gets to me - sometimes.

Great post!

 

From my own perspective I got grounded when I did a self build in my 30's, I'm 60 now. Just getting up every day and building a bit. My wife went to work and put the food on the table, paid the bills.

 

One winter was very severe, minus 5- 15 degees for days on end, it broke my spirit. I thought.. I have left the love of my life down. My gas really ran out. My mental health was in a bad place. I thought.. Gus you have bitten off more than you can chew and you have really cocked this up. But at the end of the day the weather warmed up, the sun shone and it all turned out ok in the end. I've not done another self build since for myself!

 

Moving on 30 years I now design from time to time self builds. My Client's often go through a very similar hard journey. If it's not one thing it's another! Few do a self build where everything just works out.

 

Often I see conflict in relationships.. between say husband and wife, financial stress, someone suffering from mental stress. 

 

Mental health is really important, I have seen the "hardest" builder / Engineer in tears!

 

From time to time I step in when Client's are having a nightmare, most of the time I just listen and let them get it off their chest, make some suggestions.. apply logic and distill the problem down, look at options.

 

It can be a mental health thing, financial or just a builder thing. 

 

But make no mistake folks, it's not uncommon for your mental health to suffer, mine did and it happens to loads of folk, you are not alone!

 

It very often can be fixed and you come out stronger at the other end. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Nickfromwales]

Quite a sobering thread this tbf.

 

I was not aware that this grinds folk down quite as much as it seems to, the old "self-build" malarkey....... I use BH to shed my brain of the excess energy floating around between my ears, quite bad ADHD etc, and an interest shared here and on eBuild, our home before Buildhub, where it's just nice to see and hear people ask questions and then have us lot intervene so they then don't have things go "tits-up". I'ts nice to have a hand in the prevention of such events.

 

For any folk who are a bit befuddled or overwhelmed and want to get off the starting blocks with their projects, if this helps, I'm happy to do so some 30 mins Teams / phone chats FOC.

 

I can offer advice for groundworks / substructures / superstructures, insulation and airtightness, right through to fenestration, roof and solar etc, or ask me which ASHP or MVHR is the best one to go for etc.

 

60 min chats not a prob, with maybe members offering up a small donation to the Buildhub coffers for our annual running costs or whatever. Buildhub is a free-to-join forum that is completely volunteer run and operated, and is not for profit btw. Without donations, it would not exist.

 

I cover pretty much A-Z, so quite comprehensive, and if anyone is interested just ping me a PM and I'll slot you in when I'm between doing other stuff   I imagine it'll be like a really coarse, Welsh AI lol.  

 

The caveat is, it'll be offered to contributing members only, so no piss-takers need apply  

 

IIRC @ETC offers up a bit of selfless support here and there, so it's not uncommon for good folk on here to give up their time to give struggling members an occasional leg-up. I'm sure a few other regulars help, such as @craig, other maybe going unsung so sorry if I missed anyone also deserving of a mention here.

 

"Long live the Hub".

[craig]

We all struggle, whether building your home, running your business or in life in general. Thanks for the shout @Nickfromwales, I’m going through a lot just now from my own projects, home, life snd my mum going through chemo.

 

However, I’m always available snd happy to give advice and help where and when I can. 

[craig]

4 hours ago, Russell griffiths said:

im in Cirencester if anybody wants a coffee

I’m in Chard middle of February, was supposed to be now but slight delay. Might take you up on that 😉