Poo switch / audio for bathrooms

[markocosic]

"Why on earth would you want a LOUD extractor fan?"

 

"Oh."

 

 

SWMBO doesn't like the rest of the world to know how big the poo was by the sound it makes.

 

 

I will be wring in a "poo switch" that makes it easy to boost the MVHR for 5 minutes. 

 

She would like a "poo switch" that provides sound to mask the poo.

 

 

Are there products for this already? Speakers for houses / bathrooms that allow you to listen to tunes soaking in the bath AND could be wired to a button for them to play whilst the poo happens?

 

[ProDave]

Simple solution.  We have 3 bathrooms in our house.  I just choose whichever one of the three is furthest away away from people, so no need to worry about sound.

[Thorfun]

wondering if it might be a good idea to keep the site toilet going post-completion to cater for this situation?

[markocosic]

3 minutes ago, Thorfun said:

wondering if it might be a good idea to keep the site toilet going post-completion to cater for this situation?

 

We're definitely keeping the spade and the forest!

 

One bathroom @ProDave

 

Not allowed to build another cabin until the first is finished...

[SteamyTea]

59 minutes ago, markocosic said:

She would like a "poo switch" that provides sound to mask the poo.

Turds are tapered to stop your bumhole closing with a bang.

Sounds like a doctor is needed more than a noise.

[Temp]

What you need is noise cancelling technology 😉 

 

https://patents.google.com/patent/US20060039569A1/en

 

 

Quote

 

Noise canceling toilet

Abstract

A toilet acoustic noise canceling system comprising of at least one reference microphone (155) which is operatively connected to a digital signal processing circuit (240) and at least one speaker (150) which is operatively connected to same digital signal processing circuit. Digital signal processing circuit employs signal from said microphone (235) and computes in real-time an output signal (255) to said speaker (150) for the purpose of causing destructive interference of sound energy emanating from said speaker (285) with unwanted noise source acoustic energy (205) emanating in the general region of said toilet (100).

 

 

Edited April 28, 2023 by Temp

[Temp]

I think poo noise cancellation tech might actually be a thing... 

 

https://www.odditycentral.com/technology/electronics-company-develops-smart-device-that-cancels-embarrassing-toilet-noises.html

 

Quote

Many public toilets feature a wall-mounted device that, when pressed, creates a sound that masks that of urination. However, electronics company Roland has come up with an improved version that drowns out embarrassing bathroom noises completely.

snip

Japanese homeware brand Lixil has partnered with instrument maker Roland to address the sensitive issue of bathroom noises. They’ve created a new device called the “Sound Decorator”, which, unlike current solutions that only try to mask noises by emitting another sound, generates a pattern that makes the original sound less audible altogether. They achieved this by engineering a sound with a similar but stronger wavelength to that of urination, and, through what is known as the “auditory masking” effect, they were able to neutralize the weaker wavelengths and thus cancel out the unwanted noise.

 

[Temp]

Bose Noise cancelling toilet..

[Kelvin]

Can’t she just sing or whistle loudly. 

[elite]

• Mass loaded vinyl
• double layer of PB
• thick acoustic insulation

?

[markocosic]

I've never tried to soundproof a bathroom; nor been somewhere that the bathroom is soundproof.

 

Any practical examples? Experience of this working?

[Iceverge]

Have the W/C as a separate internal room to the bathroom.

 

Close both doors for sound privacy. 

 

In fact, I'd put a W/C and shower in there. Often all you need to do is brush your teeth in the basin but the whole room is occupied because someone is recreating the entire works of Michael Jackson under the shower head. 

[elite]

13 minutes ago, markocosic said:

I've never tried to soundproof a bathroom; nor been somewhere that the bathroom is soundproof.

 

Any practical examples? Experience of this working?

 

Never done a bathroom specifically for noise other than insulation on the poo pipe to reduce flush noise in the room below

 

Most people wouldn't spec more than wall insulation - maybe you could go for thicker or double wall to get more in?

 

From my previous life in recording studios, adding mass (plasterboard, or even mass loaded vinyl sandwiched between two layers), would be the way to go

 

Your weak point will be the door, especially with MVHR as the gaps will allow noise to escape

Edited April 28, 2023 by elite
typo

[Big Jimbo]

I have worked in a posh house where they had Two toilets in the master en-suite. Both within there own cubicles. A Mr POO, and Mrs POO. I have also worked in a super posh house, where the master suite was 2000sq ft, and had Two en-suites. A his and hers. Both bloody massive.

[Carrerahill]

4 hours ago, markocosic said:

"Why on earth would you want a LOUD extractor fan?"

 

"Oh."

 

 

SWMBO doesn't like the rest of the world to know how big the poo was by the sound it makes.

 

 

I will be wring in a "poo switch" that makes it easy to boost the MVHR for 5 minutes. 

 

She would like a "poo switch" that provides sound to mask the poo.

 

 

Are there products for this already? Speakers for houses / bathrooms that allow you to listen to tunes soaking in the bath AND could be wired to a button for them to play whilst the poo happens?

 

Soundproof toilet room?

[Kelvin]

Spade and a long walk? 

[markocosic]

23 minutes ago, Kelvin said:

Spade and a long walk? 

 

That is indeed the current bathroom.

[Onoff]

2 hours ago, Iceverge said:

Often all you need to do is brush your teeth in the basin but the whole room is occupied because someone is recreating the entire works of Michael Jackson under the shower head. 

 

That's bad.

[Onoff]

1 hour ago, Kelvin said:

Spade and a long walk? 

 

Don't think I could walk very far afterwards. 

[Jilly]

The fancy Japanese loos which wash often have ‘modesty music’ apparently. But maybe that’s a bit like the fan, announcing what you are doing…

[Pocster]

Cctv in bathroom .

Bit of image analysis based on “ time spent doing “ then you can regulate a fan off that .

[SteamyTea]

6 hours ago, Onoff said:

8 hours ago, Iceverge said:

Often all you need to do is brush your teeth in the basin but the whole room is occupied because someone is recreating the entire works of Michael Jackson under the shower head. 

 

Don't think I could walk very far afterwards. 

Ah, Michael Jackson, can make my eyes water reminiscing, and my hole weak.

Blowing Bubbles was a step to far for me.

[Pocster]

17 hours ago, Big Jimbo said:

I have worked in a posh house where they had Two toilets in the master en-suite. Both within there own cubicles. A Mr POO, and Mrs POO. I have also worked in a super posh house, where the master suite was 2000sq ft, and had Two en-suites. A his and hers. Both bloody massive.

You get all the shit jobs

 

But what about the trans poo toilet ?

Edited April 29, 2023 by pocster