Help me deal with a neighbour!

[hmpmarketing]

Hi everyone, looking for your thoughts on this.

 

As you can see from the attached location plan, access to my plot consists of an entrance 6m wide between number 12 and 14. Since we acquired planning permission, one of the things stated by the case officer was the new required access point:

 

"The formal on street parking space on Street Name may need to be modified to accommodate the proposed access, and allow service vehicles access."

 

 Speaking with the highway authority last year on a site visit they stated that parking in front of number 14 would need to be “deleted”, since the way it is oriented obstructs the entrance to the new access. A funny thing they mentioned too was, well the parking lines were not supposed to be lined up the way they are they should have been following the property front wall, so it seems it was either painted the wrong way or it was done on purpose…

Since we bought this plot we went out of our way to make sure everyone was (and is) happy with our plans,  and I have managed to speak and make friends with everyone EXCEPT for the guy that lives on number 14. He works 6 days a week so I never really had a chance to introduce myself;  and he has always parked his big van (he works for one of those glass companies) on that parking space. There are no allocated spaces on the street, you are free to park anywhere. 

 

A few months ago, speaking with neighbour that lives on number 12, and trying to get a feeling of what "Mr 14" was like, he said that once they had an argument regarding one of his old land rover cars parked on the street, and since that argument they don’t speak to each other anymore. The other neighbour to his left (number 16) has told me that he keeps to himself and don’t like to talk much with other people. Nothing bad about him really, just that he probably does not socialize with his neighbourhood I guess.

 

So yesterday at around 7:30am we started assembly of our timber frame house and I quickly managed to have a word with him to see if he could move his van to give way for the lorries to unload. I knocked on his door, shook his hand and introduced myself, asked him if he could please move his van, he said no problem. I had the feeling he’s the kind of guy that does not want to talk much, in a “bully” kind of way, but I could be wrong. Anyways, I tried my best to have a conversation, stating I was getting all the fencing replaced all for free, brand new concrete posts and boards, he said he would open one of the gates for the guys to access his backyard and off he went to work.

 

He came back at around 17:30pm, the assembly crew had their vehicles where he always parks his van (the parking space in question), I kindly told him that we would move it as soon as the lorries were done, so he could park his van then. He said no problem and went inside his house, a bit annoying as I wanted to chat with him....

So guys, I would love your thoughts on this : Im not really sure if he knows that in order to have a proper access to our entrance that parking space has to go, Im not even sure if he read the planning decision stating so. How would I approach him in a friendly way to speak about this, as he seems to have taken that parking space as his allocated space (well thats what I think I may be wrong)? The highway authority guy himself told me that parking space has no relevance there:

 

I have collaborated the information gathered on site and have put in a request to my Traffic Engineer to address this rogue parking space and consider the option of having it (re)moved.

Buy yourself a can of black road paint and mask over it, or we can burn it off properly through our contractors but this will take time and will incur a cost to yourself.

Its paramount that you speak with your neighbours on this point to smooth it over but there is no allocation to this space and it will be blocking the access when the new build begins.

Il leave it to you and hopefully I won’t need to step in but you have my permission to paint this over.

 

So I am just trying to find the most positive way to go about this without causing him to feel I am the new kid on the block and came to take over his space! Perhaps I am a bit paranoid, but I just want to make sure I approach him the right way, Im sure some of you have come upon a grumpy neighbour before! Who knows, maybe he will be just fine, but I think I will take the first step and speak but I just want to make sure I do it properly.

 

Thank you so much and I would love your feedback again!!!!

 

 

 

Edited March 3, 2017 by hmpmarketing

[SteamyTea]

Show him the bit that you have quoted in blue, you can be indignant about it as well.  If he had hot taken an interest in the planning notice, that is his look out.

 

33 years ago I had trouble with a neighbour and his large van blocking the road.  Eventually my next door neighbour contacted the company he worked for who explained that they had built him a garage to park the van in (how times have changed).  The company went to his place, asked to look in 'their' garage and found he had been hoarding stuff from work.

That cured the 'van' problem.  Though we did get abusing notes though out letterboxes for a few months.

[ProDave]

Rather than delete it, could the space be turned 45 degrees and slid sideways so it is to the north east (assuming north up) of the space outside No 16

 

Is there any scope for creating an off road parking space for No 14 in the course of the work you are doing? It's ther sort of thing where I might sacrifice a couple of feet of the plot if it enabled No 14 to have his own off road parking next to his house.

 

Can you get the Highways to come in one day when he's out and "delete" or move the space or would that be a red rag to a bull?
 

[jamiehamy]

Nah,  you're all getting it wrong here. HM P needs find someone on this forum who lives nearby,  give them the address and no more be said. Miraculously overnight,  the space is painted out,  cue outrage from neighbour and HMP,  both of whom contact planning... Not your problem! 

 

In all seriousness tho,  do you have contractors who could do this without a fuss? You don't want the flak,  you want to manage it such that someone else does the dirty work,  and when neighbour is unhappy you can say that the contractor was doing what the plans said and worth speaking to the local authority about it.  That as much as it doesn't bother you,  you've got to comply. 

[joe90]

A difficult one. We have a " neighbour from hell" who has objected to everything we have done ( but we won) . I think you have to have the courage to knock on his door and broach the subject armed with all the docs you have that the planners have deemed his parking space as wrong and how is it best to deal with it, chances are it might all be fine but if not then you will at least know what you are dealing with. It appears you have the planners on your side. If he chooses not to speak to you that's his loss. Chin up and best foot forward.

[jamiehamy]

Crossover with ProDave - you need to get someone else to do it.  I'm on my local community council and there are three things people care about. Parking. Trees. Dog shite.  Remove parking and all hell  breaks loose! 

[Triassic]

Its always best to talk, ask if it's possible to move the parking bay, maybe start by saying the council planners have said "The formal on street parking space on Street Name may need to be modified to accommodate the proposed access, and allow service vehicles access.". Ask if that's OK. Say you'll pay for the work to be done!

DO NOT be confrontational at this point. Try your best to get him on side.

 

Only as a last resort get the council to deal with the incorrect road markings. Then you can blame the council!

[MikeSharp01]

is it being deleted or moved? you don't want to get someone else to do it because the flak will come back to you anyway and as your surrogate has no direct link their need to be gentle and supportive is small and so very risky for you. If you have a formal dispute you will need to mention this when you come to sell I believe. Does the original scheme, that was done wrongly, need to be brought back into the frame and the whole thing reworked so everybody is happy.

 

In the end your approach perhaps needs to be conciliatory but firm. Conciliatory in the sense that you will do all the work required plus give him some choices as part of the change, timings etc, and firm in the sense that it will be done because its was in the planning and highways agree. Whatever you do don't make it look to him like he missed something - it should read, spoken or written, as if he knew this was going to happen. So (never start a sentence with so) perhaps something like 'Can we get together do work through thoughts and ideas together on completing the changes to the parking layout in the close from the planning requirement (pop quote in). We appreciate that there will be some disruption but we are keen to do all we can to be a good neighbour. Please let me know when a good time to talk might be (give contact details).'  That should trigger him realising what the problem is is but you are clear that it has to be done and have been open with him. So when you do talk he will know what has to be done and will work with you. If he doesn't  you may then need to get heavy but at least you tried. 

Hope it helps - good luck.

[ToughButterCup]

So, in a nutshell, short-term you want to assure access for the build, and long-term you need to dissuade people from parking across your access. Right so far?

 

Short-term, make sure you talk to the guy; a note asking for a meeting through his door? At that meeting concentrate on answering his problem (I'm going to have to park somewhere else....) and listen to how he frames the issue. Then adapt your approach. Focus on him and he will be more likely to see your point of view.

 

Long-term, get the LA to mark the road.  And make it visually clear -by design as well as marks on the road- that access might be required at any time.

 

And good luck.

Ian

 

[hmpmarketing]

Hello everyone, thanks for all your thoughts. I wish I had enough likes to give out.

 

It seems I will have to man up and try to have some sort of sitting down and chat with him. One thing that I thought about it, his front facade is really an eye sore: old roof, old paint work, his front wall brickwork damaged…. Don’t want to pretend to be a good Samaritan, but maybe offering some improvs this would give me some leverage if I feel he becomes too negative with the issue?

Thanks again
 

Edited March 3, 2017 by hmpmarketing

[hmpmarketing]

20 minutes ago, MikeSharp01 said:

is it being deleted or moved?

 

highway authority said "delete" it

[hmpmarketing]

1 hour ago, ProDave said:

 

Is there any scope for creating an off road parking space for No 14 in the course of the work you are doing? It's ther sort of thing where I might sacrifice a couple of feet of the plot if it enabled No 14 to have his own off road parking next to his house.
 

 

Not really! I am having a garage built near the boundary, wouldnt be enough space 

[joe90]

With regard being a Good Samaritan, why should you tidy up his house?, the planners created this problem and they appear to be letting you sort it out for them, frankly they should have issued him a letter stating "his" parking space is being deleated by them. You need to be seen as the "good neighbour" that has spotted this issue and wants to not fall out with anyone over it.?

[Nickfromwales]

28 minutes ago, hmpmarketing said:

One thing that I thought about it, his front facade is really an eye sore: old roof, old paint work, his front wall brickwork damaged…. Don’t want to pretend to be a good Samaritan, but maybe offering some improvs this would give me some leverage if I feel he becomes too negative with the issue?

Thanks again
 

Have you ever heard the phrase "suicide mission"?

1) I doubt he'll be appreciative of you saying his house is scruffy and you'd like to make it more pleasing to the eye. If you knocked my door and told me that I'd tell you to Foxtrot Oscar. 

2) Don't make such a daft gesture, ask @JSHarris where goodwill to your new neighbours gets you. Bollocks to that.

Black and white is what this is. 

If he'd read the planning he'd already know what's happening. If he didn't then that shows his level of giveafuck is around 2%. 

If it were me, I'd pay for the highways contractors to come and burn the road markings off and ask them to do as @ProDave suggested, with his new space painted accordingly. 

 

As you say, man up a little, tell him what is happening and await his next response. Until then this is all a bit 'hypothetical'. Let's get a response, then deal with the outcome. You have planning so the worst that can happen is you don't speak to him as you drive into your house. Big deal.

You can please some of the people all of the time, so to be -1 wont exactly cause you any panic. 

After a while he'll come around any way, ( he'll have to! ).  

[Ferdinand]

38 minutes ago, joe90 said:

With regard being a Good Samaritan, why should you tidy up his house?, the planners created this problem and they appear to be letting you sort it out for them, frankly they should have issued him a letter stating "his" parking space is being deleated by them. You need to be seen as the "good neighbour" that has spotted this issue and wants to not fall out with anyone over it.?

 

I wouldn't go there unless it is for things directly related to the space.

[Temp]

Would it be possible to move the space outside 16 so the space for 14 can be moved and made bigger? If he ends up with a bigger space he might be happier.

 

 

[ProDave]

Neighbour "disputes" and access can be a real problem. when I lived with my parents, the front drive where I parked openned onto a service road with double yellow lines opposite my drive. It ws a very common occurrence to get up in the morning and find a car parked, on the double yellows, blocking my drive. Phone calls the the police were a regular thing, but usually all they did was employ some grunt to push the car along a bit and left. They hardly ever put a parking ticket on it, and even once when I pointed out the tax disc was out of date, they took no action.   I got so fet up I printed a slightly rude note I used to leave under people's windscreens telling not to park there (not quite the exact phrase I used ) until one day the police knocked on my door and cautioned me for "distributing obscene material"

 

He could be bloody minded and carry on parking there even without a marked space, then it gets messy.
 

[Nickfromwales]

You can borrow my Pajero then and shunt his van into the next street. 

Just a fall-back option. . 

[Steptoe]

Parking can be a nightmare,

There is room for 3 vehicles outside my house, next door has room for none, due to being in a corner, and would block access to their neighbours drive,

Outside our house is my wife's car, my van, and previous neighbour parked Hus car there too, no problem, new neighbour has 4 vehicles, his car, his works van, his wife's car, daughters car, not unknown for them to park 3 of them in front of our house, leaving us to park 50yards away where there is parking slots,.

I simply took to parking my van broadside across the rear of their vehicles, after having the polis out to me a few times the polis got fed up and simply advised the neighbour to stop taking the piss, and allow us to park in front of our own house. 

Apparently there's not much they could do to me but either ask me to move the van, or have it moved for me.

My point being, parking in front of your own property is very high up most peoples list of what they (wrongly) assume is their right. I would never buy a house with no parking directly in front of it. 

As you are responsible for this neighbour losing 'his' parking space, to do this amicably, you are going to have to give him an alternative parking solution, has he got room to park in his front garden? Offer to give him a drop kerb maybe? 

[joe90]

I disagree, you are not responsible for him losing "his" parking space, the council/planners are. No one has the right to park outside their own house anyway, in our temp house we can rarely park outside our own house and a couple of neighbours further up the road has vans and cars so it's first come first served. I can't wait to get my build done with my own drive and garage space.

[Jeremy Harris]

Looking at the plot, it looks as if both number 14 and number 12 have already done some deal to allow the entrance, as corners have been chopped off each plot.  I suspect this means they are both 100% aware of the need to keep that entrance clear, and also are aware of the fact that no one has a right to park on the road right outside their house.

 

As @joe90 says, this is the council's problem to deal with, perhaps with whoever owned the land that your plot is now on (Number 14 by any chance?), as the access must have been a significant planning consideration when granting permission for your plot.  If your plot was owned by number 14, or his predecessor in title, then there is even less reason for you to be concerned about the removal of the white lines on the road.

[Steptoe]

8 hours ago, joe90 said:

I disagree, you are not responsible for him losing "his" parking space, the council/planners are. No one has the right to park outside their own house anyway, in our temp house we can rarely park outside our own house and a couple of neighbours further up the road has vans and cars so it's first come first served. I can't wait to get my build done with my own drive and garage space.

I didn't say he had a right to park there, but its an expectation for most people, and he's been parking there for however long with no issues so far.

And if the new house wasn't being built, nothing would have changed.

I'm just trying to look at it from vanmans POV.

I'll bet no matter what the planners or highways have stated, he will blame the new house for him losing "his" parking space.

If this isn't treated very carefully it could end up in a nonstop feud , neighbours from hell, not the situation I'd want.

It doesn't matter who's fault it is, its who's fault it will be perceived as.

The law can be quoted all day long, the fact remains that the parking space would still be there if the newbuild wasn't taking place,

I know that to myself (and probably most people) if it caused me to lose MY parking space I'd make life hell for the new house,

Like I said earlier, that's how I stopped people parking in front of my house, either by blocking them in, or park so close to them they simply can't get in their car door, put the wife's car in one side, my van on the other. 

If you want to go down the factual method of simply removing this guys space and not help with an alternative solution, then I wish you good luck, but I wouldn't be too confident of it ending happily for you.

 

[bassanclan]

Is there room for him to park between your boundary and the side of his house?

You could offer him access over your land to get to this strip of land I.e the first part of your drive would be shared access

[hmpmarketing]

3 hours ago, JSHarris said:

Looking at the plot, it looks as if both number 14 and number 12 have already done some deal to allow the entrance, as corners have been chopped off each plot.  I suspect this means they are both 100% aware of the need to keep that entrance clear, and also are aware of the fact that no one has a right to park on the road right outside their house.

 

As @joe90 says, this is the council's problem to deal with, perhaps with whoever owned the land that your plot is now on (Number 14 by any chance?), as the access must have been a significant planning consideration when granting permission for your plot.  If your plot was owned by number 14, or his predecessor in title, then there is even less reason for you to be concerned about the removal of the white lines on the road.

 

@JSHarris 

 

Yes, the plot was part of number 14, it was a huge garden plot owned by a previous couple that has passed away, so yes, it used to belong to number 14!

[ProDave]

Well if the plot used to belong to No 14, then I would have no sympathy with him whatsoever. He could have divided the plot a bit more logically to have given himself parking alongside his house, but presumably chose not to. He has created his problem, me must deal with it.

 

Unless of course No 14 has changed hands since the plot was divided off?