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The great Saga of Dumb and Dumber cutting a tree.


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So me and mate decided that it was way too easy to cut a tree and that any professional doing this is pretty much over charged bullshit (pfff - who needs professionals)

Cut the tree today (time-lapse will follow as soon as I get round to put it together). The result is :IMG_20190716_150251.thumb.jpg.ea7b2b696dd9b91daa55251e92747ae1.jpg

As some might already have guessed, the tree was supposed to come down straight in front of the camera in order to be prepared/ cut to pieces easily.

 

Well.

the tree had other plans.

 

Now we have approx. 7tonnes of tree laying across neighbouring garden (on top of the partly collapsed garden wall)

 

Everybody is save.

 

Not everybody is happy.

 

And the misses said

"I told you both, you bloody retards, to not do it"

 

Anybody has any good suggestions how to get the tree from that spot now. Cut it up in manageable chunks, but how to make sure it doesn't bounce out of its temporary space/position.

 

There is no access for any kind of machines. Has to be done by hand.

Or with small pulley hoist/hand lift.

 

?

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Russell >plonker

 

Well @Patrick Rodney ?

 

We are all pleased you are in one piece.

 

I think you potentially have different safety issues than cutting it down. One issue is how it moves unexpectedly when you cut bits off. Breaking a leg is dead easy with a coupe of tons wobbling around. Others can probably advise better, but to hold it in place it has to e done from different directions or have a self-retensioning apparatus for when it moves.

 

Are you actually sure it is 7 tons? Might it be less? No particular benefit, just a smaller elephant to eat with chopsticks.

 

I would listen to @PeterW on this. He has worked as a tree man.

 

We had a 90 footer blow down and just miss next doors’ bungalow roof years ago at the previous house (they have a sprinkling of different coloured tiles now). On that occasion a local chap said he would do it for the firewood. So we snapped his hand off, and left him to it. 4 days later...

 

Best of luck.

 

Ferdinand

Edited by Ferdinand
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I think we know what @Patrick is getting for Christmas:

 

3008_15861_w450.jpg.9380a8c5458a66133a6d56b603637771.jpg

 

?

 

On a serious note I really hope you were conscious of who was in neighbouring gardens when that came down. Consequences could have been horrendous. 

 

I'd be thinking a small scaffold tower and somebody who knows what they're doing with a chainsaw. What's that about 18" dia?

 

Who's wall is it that got damaged btw?

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Has it still got the crown on it ...?? How tall was it...??

 

That will stop it rolling, the weight needs to come off back as far as the pivot point so you will need access and I’d suggest a tower, section off the base first ...

 

but it a pro would be safer 

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Top marks for posting this thread. Takes a bit of guts to post an error of judgement this size.......

 

You are young, fit keen and have loads of energy.

By the time you finish sorting everything out, you'll be older, wiser, more cautious  and  knackered. 

Just like most of the commenters on this this thread. 

 

May I suggest you use a sharpened chain saw blade? 

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I'm not able to advise but can tell you what I paid to get a pro in as it may help to give an idea of costs.

 

I had 25 x 40ft Leylandi to come down, the chap charged me £750 to just chop and drop where they were.  I asked him to cut them into 1-2m lengths and then I dealt with them.

 

Took me a while but you only have the one tree so shouldn't take long once it's chop into manageable chunks.

 

May be worth pricing up someone to chop it for you and then you deal with the disposal aspect.

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1 hour ago, MikeSharp01 said:

Oooo er- what is the diameter of the trunk and how tall (long now) is it?

radius of trunk is approx. 40cm. And the main trunk is around 4meters. Then it branches off.

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1 hour ago, Russell griffiths said:

You plonker. 

 

And you met me the other day. Did you not know what I used to do for a living. 

 

Would happily have done it for you for a bit of exchange labour. 

 

Nothing else for it but get in and cut it up bit by bit. 

 

Yep. Right you are. Next time I ask first.

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45 minutes ago, PeterW said:

Has it still got the crown on it ...?? How tall was it...??

 

That will stop it rolling, the weight needs to come off back as far as the pivot point so you will need access and I’d suggest a tower, section off the base first ...

 

but it a pro would be safer 

It still has the crown. We started to take the top bits off the crown.

it's approx. 13 meter tall in total. So not a small one.

 

@Onoff

Even though I can't talk clever now  , after what happened. But we wouldn't have done it if there was anyone or any buildings around. Next house is 50meter away and we where in touch with all neighbours to make sure that nobody standing nearby while cutting it (= a few spectators). ?‍♀️

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23 minutes ago, Patrick said:

It still has the crown. We started to take the top bits off the crown.

it's approx. 13 meter tall in total. So not a small one.

 

 

Stop stripping the crown !!

 

The weight in that is counter balancing the rest of the tree. It will also stop it rolling anywhere. 

 

What kit have you got available ..?? Scaffold is preferable to ladder here - I take it you’ve got decent PPE such as trousers or at least chaps ..?? 

 

What size saw, how many and what type of chains ..??

 

 

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21 minutes ago, PeterW said:

 

Stop stripping the crown !!

 

The weight in that is counter balancing the rest of the tree. It will also stop it rolling anywhere. 

 

What kit have you got available ..?? Scaffold is preferable to ladder here - I take it you’ve got decent PPE such as trousers or at least chaps ..?? 

 

What size saw, how many and what type of chains ..??

 

 

The sort of post which suggests you really should look at getting someone who knows their onions in to have a look.

 

At the very least a 'pro' will have all the kit required to get the job done quickly and safely for you.

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7 minutes ago, LA3222 said:

The sort of post which suggests you really should look at getting someone who knows their onions in to have a look.

 

At the very least a 'pro' will have all the kit required to get the job done quickly and safely for you.

 

To be clear, I would probably not take this on as I wouldn't know how stable the remaining trunk was, nor if there was stress damage to any of the main boughs that could cause a kick back or other movement.

 

These sorts of jobs aren't called widow-makers for fun....

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37 minutes ago, PeterW said:

 

Stop stripping the crown !!

 

The weight in that is counter balancing the rest of the tree. It will also stop it rolling anywhere. 

 

What kit have you got available ..?? Scaffold is preferable to ladder here - I take it you’ve got decent PPE such as trousers or at least chaps ..?? 

 

What size saw, how many and what type of chains ..??

 

 

I'm getting some advice in. Won't strip the crown further. Will assess now and keep you updated. Cheers

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Very glad to hear you're OK, @Patrick, and that no one else was hurt.  At the end of the day that's really what matters.  Thanks for having the courage to post this tale, too, as there is a fair chance that it may well make someone else think twice before trying something similar, so (hopefully) preventing a future accident.

 

A few years ago we had a large beech tree taken down in the corner of our garden at the old house.  It wasn't our tree, but was right on our boundary.  It was diseased, and potentially dangerous, so had to come down.  There was no way it could be felled, so it was taken down from the top, in sections, with a chap swinging around on the end of a wire from a very big crane.  Scary as hell to watch, but it did mean that the way each bit of the tree that came down was carefully controlled.  Must have cost a fair bit, though.

 

 

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First off, glad that everyone is safe and that the damage isn't too significant. Respect for posting.

 

I have brought down two 35 - 40 cm diameter pines in my time, under the steward ship of a very capable chainsaw operator.

 

Getting the tree down was pretty easy, once it's on the ground its a real game of kerplunk. Even on flat ground its work that isn't to be rushed, trying to figure out how the weight is going to shift once cut.

 

Without seeing how its fallen its difficult to tell how it could be approached, but its seem very awkward with some resting on the wall.

 

As advice above, I think that its time for a pro with their experience of how the trunk may move, and how to safely cut it.

 

Good luck.

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see, and everyone is giving good sound advice.  I would claim to have learnt from my mistake and carry on chopping the trunk into small pieces. I might use a big 2 person hand saw rather than a chainsaw if i thought it would jump about but then H&S has never been my strong point

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9 minutes ago, redtop said:

and may i add i have ... electrocuted myself 4 times over the years so i am uber safe.

 

And, it seems, immortal : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electrocution

 

The next thing you know a new religion will have sprung up about you.  Might last a few thousand years, if the last reported person to rise from the dead is anything to go by... 

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Thanks to @JSHarris
 @PeterWand all the rest of you for the kind wishes. Everyone is safe. 

The almighty @Russell griffiths

 came to my rescue with his mate. Chopped up the tree in no time with their magic chainsaw skills :

IMG_20190717_133305.thumb.jpg.60bec9dbea99220596f9433866dcdf13.jpg

Now I am just left with a whole in the wall:

IMG_20190717_174336.thumb.jpg.69aa7500156c2f28d7c612ccbcf15f31.jpg

and a few logs from my chainsaw massacre Wiltshire edition

 

IMG_20190717_154038.thumb.jpg.2151c055b02bc54833772d3fd22c21c5.jpg

I m off now for  a cold one and will update blog maybe later. Russel has a great photo of how I butchered the trunk with my 1st try felling  a tree. I have some time-lapse which I might post later on once I found some time to edit it. Might take a few days.

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