Low points: and how to get out of them

[LSB]

Just found this and it really struck the situation.  At the moment we are laying about 2 blocks per day mainly due to the wet, but also health and apathy.

 

Somehow things never seem to move on as they should.

 

I'm part of the Suffolk meet up and that's good to have, another one being planned.

 

Sometimes I forget to connect to BH as I spend lots of time on the puter working and so don't want to spend more.

 

But, thanks to everyone who has helped us, particularly when we make another mistake and how to solve it.

 

I'm considering the GP route at the moment, but getting an appointment is like searching for cold and I can't bring myself to tell the 'care navigators' what my issue is.  That's why I want a doctors appt.

 

We went to Diss yesterday to TWgaze auction to view and it wasn't quite pitch black when we got back at 5pm so it is getting lighter.

Not that this makes us work any longer when it's cold and wet.

 

I would love to go away somewhere hot for a break, but trouble with building is that it takes all the money.

 

Take care everyone and ask for help if you need it.

[jack]

11 hours ago, Gus Potter said:

Looking ahead for the future of Build Hub.

 

Personally I would not want it to go the way the farming forum, paid advertising and so on. But for this to happen I think (I'm not party to the finances, the funding model) that BH may need to elicit more small donations and get new blood in? I just don't know.

 

Mods.. how do you see the way forward?

 

Thewre was a bit of a flag to me the other day when you announced to had dropped down the rankings. Please tell me this has nothing to do with you postioning yourselves to selling BH and making a killing on the data base. I have mentioned this before.. but if you do this then don't expect you will make a killing as your data base is not worth that much! Yes of course you have IP over what I have posted as an SE (under my own name) but.. that info has a shelf life!

 

We don't need more funds. When we run low, we ask for donations, and generally that gets us what we need to cover costs. All BH staff are unpaid volunteers and that won't change.

 

"New blood" isn't needed imo, but we don't have the advantage of lifelong endeavours like farming, gardening, or photography in terms of keeping members engaged over long periods of time. Many of our members join, hang around until their build is finished, then we never see them again (obviously for some *cough* @Pocster *cough that time could be measured in decades).

 

Over time, there'll occasionally be the need for a new mod or administrator, but we've handled that as needed. Most of the current staff have been here for many years and have no intention of going anywhere.  

 

I don't know why you think BH dropping down the rankings suggests we'd be trying to sell it. I can categorically state that there's not even the hint of a glint of an idea to sell. We have no income other than donations. I suppose someone could take over and try to monetise the site, but I don't think there's a lot of money in forums any more, plus any potential buyer would have to know that they'd lose a lot of the membership if they added advertising, sponsorship, or membership fees. I agree that the info in the site is of limited value, especially given it's publicly available to all.

[saveasteading]

re networking. it is a great way to share the burden.

I get the impression not many on BH are near me. I would describe our location as in the middle of the mass of Kent and Sussex.

 

Why do I use a pseudonym?

 

I don't want people wandering to our project(s) uninvited, and too many clues flags 'building site with stuff'.

It isn't for only me to decide, as the family is involved.

Pessimistically, what if I've done something to upset the authorities and some proof is on here.

If I give technical advice, the anonymity gives some protection against any repercussions, including simply getting hassled if someone disagrees or it doesn't go as planned.. and emphasises that there is a distance between me and them. eg someone showing my short advice on here to a BCO isn't going to go far.

Similarly nobody taking advice from here would be under the allusion that this was equivalent to proper, professional, paid for , advice.

 

 

[mike2016]

21 hours ago, ToughButterCup said:

Self-building is as big a character test as doing a PhD, or handling a long-term relationship break down, or surviving a major operation. A full-on build's knackering. 

 

This Winter has been a real struggle for me aswell. Moved in November and felt I've done little since. It's the little wins and even tidying up and moving stuff around, searching for that specific box of screws and keep chipping away. I've just finished the living room and will head over to my sisters to get my couch, kitchen table and chairs out of storage soon. Was hoping to put a push in this weekend but other family priorities have crept up. 

Vitamin D3 1000ug daily throughout the year (helps my immunity and fighting SAD), weekly Pilates and a bed to lie down on when I'm tired and watch a bit of YouTube/Netflix has helped but the hours can easily flow by and another day is over. Doing small things as others have said really helps. I've been trying to sell some tools but having mixed success but even 1 sold is money back in the pot. Also treat yourself to something you like doing not building related! I get a massage once in a while, haven't been out cycling or hiking since I started though but even a walk around the area can breath some fresh air into old heads and tired backs!! I'm lucky I usually work from home so I can sneak in some small jobs / planning during the day too when it's quiet. I've 10 years left though and the job scene is also a worry but what can you do?! 

I booked a holiday for two weeks in May, my first since I started building two years ago so there's a goal to aim for! 

Edited 7 hours ago by mike2016

[Nickfromwales]

3 hours ago, saveasteading said:

Similarly nobody taking advice from here would be under the allusion that this was equivalent to proper, professional, paid for , advice.

I try to explain the difference, to folk who approach me (both here by PM or in “real life”) for ‘a bit of advice’.

 

I have to explain that me rambling on here has zero repercussion, because in reality nobody should listen to a word I have to say.

 

But, if someone asks me specifically, to advise on their project, well that requires time, and time = £xxx

 

At that point I become liable or responsible for not overpromising or under-delivering, so that’s now managed via my T&C’s (serves myself and the client very well if expectations are managed robustly, and then each party knows what’s been promised vs what’s getting delivered for what sum of money, payment plans agreed, and so on). 
 

It’s so much simpler when 2 adults can read the same document, perform a handover, and agree that’s all been done as expected and here’s your dosh.

 

BH has a massive wealth of information available for anyone to read and use, with their own caution needing to be in check, and due diligence performed, eg to avoid misadventure.

 

Reading a few bits on the internet is not robust enough to go spending your hard earned money on. It should be used to compile questions for your chosen contractor, or as a sounding board for your own informed decision making.

[Nickfromwales]

9 minutes ago, mike2016 said:

I've been trying to sell some tools but having mixed success

Are you aware of our marketplace? 

[SimonD]

7 hours ago, ToughButterCup said:

I'm very glad this thread has struck a nerve.

 

Like many here, I thought the issue was -just-me-being-a-wimp-. While that may well be true, wimps can have off moments too. And I've had more than a few off moments.  What makes it all the more difficult to understand  is that I've  done some stuff   before building: edges knocked off, I'm more ugly than I was last century. (Uglier than @Russell griffiths could imagine) .

 

I thought that that would be a good resource on which to fall back as the build progressed. But it's not enough.

 

I think what you've done is that brave, put your head above the parapet, admission of human vulnerability in an arena that is still steeped in 'manly toughness' mythology. And what you've done is highlight the experience that probably most, if not all self-builders go through during their build.

 

I come from a psychology background - I began in the engineering field and then gravitated to psychology, so I originally trained to BACP levels in counselling and eventually moved into a field called coaching psychology where I worked with a combination of high level athletes, business leaders and business founders. Now, I can say that every single one of my clients has experienced major ups and downs and a lot of their time is spent grafting in uncomfortable places. But context is everything. In both business and sport there is at least a good proportion of acceptance around psychology and mental health. The most successful ones embrace this as of primary importance for their day to day function and successes, but even in these contects, there is still a long way to go. My experience so far of the construction industry is that it hasn't even begun to accept this. When I go and see construction sites, I don't see pleasant, human environments and people just don't talk about or readily and openly acknowledge their vulnerability. Sometimes I see quite frankly highly unpleasant working environments, with lots of miserable staff - which I see as one of the reasons why we get such shit building and trade quality - it's a UK construction industry cultural context that just doesn't seem anywhere close to shifting. Last summer I spent a couple of weeks in a construction academy training centre and it was one of the most miserable places I've been to in a long time and the trainers wonder why they get such poor engagement, performance, and results from students.

This cultural context to me goes a long way to explaining why the construction industry has one of the highest rates of suicide. Here's a quote from the ONS about this:

"

Quote

• The risk of suicide among low-skilled male labourers, particularly those working in construction roles, was 3 times higher than the male national average.
• For males working in skilled trades, the highest risk was among building finishing trades; particularly, plasterers and painters and decorators had more than double the risk of suicide than the male national average.

 

These are pretty alarming figures.

 

There are obvious exceptions to this. I know a contractor fairly near to me who runs a small company where he treats and pays his staff well. As soon as you go on site you can tell this from the nice, smiley and friendly atmosphere.

In another example, a previous client of mine who engaged me when he started up, we spent 18 months to 2 years exploring how he wanted to lead the company and what kind of culture he was looking to foster as he wanted to be very different from his experience in construction with very large construction companies. Most of his contracts are in Europe but his company has now surpassed £1 billion in annual revenue.

 

The context of a self-builder changes things and can make them more complex, especially if you're very hands on. As a self-builder you are completely invested and I know myself that this can make you feel trapped - you can't just walk away like you can from a job because not only have you ploughed loads of money into it, it's your blood, sweat and tears too. It's personal. You're also in the construction industry, but an outsider without necessarily having all the domain knowledge to navigate your way through a different working environment.

 

So it's realy no surprise that self-builders feel down and it's great that this is being discussed so openly here with so much support being offered. I too can offer help and to talk, if someone wants to do so. I'm based just out side of Bath

 

Oh, and to mention a little celebration I had for myself yesterday. My company is now officially MCS certified for design and installation of air source heat pumps - but please don't crucify me for that 😉 

[Nickfromwales]

1 hour ago, SimonD said:

I come from a psychology background

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“These are not the droids you are looking for……” 🖖  

[Nickfromwales]

1 hour ago, SimonD said:

Oh, and to mention a little celebration I had for myself yesterday. My company is now officially MCS certified for design and installation of air source heat pumps - but please don't crucify me for that 😉 

I’d switch your PM inbox off sharpish, if I were you lol!   

 

Congrats, I’ll be in touch myself pretty damn soon if you’re up for some new projects to support me on. Last lot didn’t make grade….now gone ‘adios’. 
 

Shoot me a message when you get 5 and we can have a chat or maybe meet up. One’s on your doorstep. 

[craig]

8 hours ago, ToughButterCup said:

Just the thought of being able to pick up the phone and chat

 

I need to give you a shout the next time I'm heading down the M6, which should be in about 2 weeks time. It's been too long.

[SimonD]

19 minutes ago, Nickfromwales said:

I’d switch your PM inbox off sharpish, if I were you lol!   

 

Congrats, I’ll be in touch myself pretty damn soon if you’re up for some new projects to support me on. Last lot didn’t make grade….now gone ‘adios’. 
 

Shoot me a message when you get 5 and we can have a chat or maybe meet up. One’s on your doorstep. 

 

Thanks, it's been a slog, but finally there. Now I just have a backlog of customers who were waiting on the certification, but happy to chat once things have settled down a bit and I've got some capacity back.

[Nickfromwales]

1 minute ago, SimonD said:

 

Thanks, it's been a slog, but finally there. Now I just have a backlog of customers who were waiting on the certification, but happy to chat once things have settled down a bit and I've got some capacity back.

No rush! Those days are long behind me  

[Onoff]

10 hours ago, ToughButterCup said:

And no @Onoff, I haven't finished. Oh, by the way I've read and re-read your fabulous thread on tiling at least a dozen times. I'm a friggin expert tiler now

 

Wish I'd read it and used a levelling system! I used to be able to dim the lights in there until the w**k Quinetic stuff went t!ts up 😡

[ToughButterCup]

2 hours ago, craig said:

 

I need to give you a shout the next time I'm heading down the M6, which should be in about 2 weeks time. It's been too long.

 

Soon as you see Forton Services on the skyline - next left. Coffee and some German torte... better than you can get at the M+S . 

You still taking the tablets? 😝