Deciding to say "no" to a self build opportunity

[maison d'etre]

Hello,

A plot came up for sale near us a couple of months ago, with PP for a large house. The area is a small settlement about 2 miles from the town in which we live. It's about 1/3 of an acre plot, has a disused outbuilding on it, an electricity pylon and cable running through it, but it is a peaceful setting and it has some mature trees (although they are conifers). We viewed the plot, liked the idea of the project but were then told the plot had sold. It is now back on the market. I was initially quite excited, and we have expressed an interest and started the process of putting our house on the market.

However, we're now planning to call the agent tomorrow and say we're not going to go through with it. There's plenty to like, but the PP is for a house we would never build if we had a blank canvas. I appreciate plans can be changed, but the reserved matters went through a few iterations before they approved a fairly generic style of house, so the extent to which we could alter the design is a complete unknown. Also, the costs are just scaring us off. 500k plot, plus a 285sqm house which we would want to do to a nice specification, plus double garage, plus preparing the site with demolition and relocating power lines, plus fees for all sorts of people, plus SDLT, plus renting another house for a good while...

I've really struggled with the decision. On the one hand, we want to do a house that's how we want it, and this presents a pretty good option for doing that, while our children are still young enough to enjoy the result. On the other, I don't want to be the person everyone tries to bleed dry for a couple of years, be mortgaged up to the eyeballs for the rest of our working lives, or have to keep compromising on standard of finish or specification because we can't afford it, but need to finish the build, so can't wait until we can afford it. We don't relish the thought of spending a load on rent, or subjecting our children to a worse house than the one they live in now for a couple of years. There's also the stress and reduction in time with the children when we inevitably have to spend time on "house stuff".

Apologies for the big moan - I love the idea of a self build, and I feel like a failure for walking away from an opportunity to do it. If this is my response to the reality though, is it just not for me? Or do I need to spend more time trying to do it in a way that doesn't start with spending half a million quid?!

[NSS]

Sounds to me like you're making the right decision. There'll be other opportunities, you just have to wait for the right one, or at least the one that gives you a better feeling about achieving your goals. 

[bmj1]

It's going to cost a lot more than half a million quid for a 285 sq meter house to a high spec.

 

And the utilities are really gouging on pricing works these days.

 

This might not be the typical buildhub reply, but it sounds like one to let go.

[Indy]

Building a 285sq m house plus double garage will easily mean spending between £600k and £900k for a mid level/good quality finish without going over the top. Add in the professional fees/rental/SDLT and other related costs - you could be touching £1m on top of the £500k plot purchase price. 

Edited 17 hours ago by Indy

[maison d'etre]

Thanks for the replies. I should explain that the mention of £0.5million was referring to the plot price. I was assuming £2500+/sqm for the build cost.

 

This raises another issue, which is that I feel like I need to have done more homework. For example, when £/sqm rough numbers are given, I don’t know whether that is intended to roughly encompass all the costs of the build, or whether you then add on things like utility connections, site security, etc.

[bmj1]

You need a more detailed budget for your project, because factors can vary significantly site to site.

 

It is also massively dependant on your spec and level of involvement. 

 

Lastly, don't forget professional fees

[Gone West]

I think it is fairly straightforward, if in doubt, don't do it.

[ProDave]

I wanted to do a self build when I was young, but then I lived in the SE of England (where I suspect @maison d'etre lives judging by plot price)  but it was never possible.  The very few plots that came up for sale had a plot price equal to a ready build house.  So were not for someone wanting to self build an ordinary house.

 

It was only when we moved to the Highlands that plot prices were sensible (and a LOT more available) that I got to realise that dream.

[ToughButterCup]

10 hours ago, maison d'etre said:

....I love the idea of a self build, and I feel like a failure for walking away from an opportunity to do it. ....

 

No, you aren't. Don't confuse disappointment with failure.

The one thing you can't do is un-know the idea that's walking hobnail  round inside your head ( and will do for a long time yet) . Nobody can take the idea away from you. Not even you.

Our place was built 35 years after the initial intention to build took hold of us - a mere 10 of those years actually building the fabric of the place. 

ie. a 25 year wait, a 25 year ruminate, a 25 year marinade, a 25 year itch

 

So you are NOT  a failure- yet.

Plan.

[Kelvin]

3 hours ago, maison d'etre said:

Thanks for the replies. I should explain that the mention of £0.5million was referring to the plot price. I was assuming £2500+/sqm for the build cost.

 

This raises another issue, which is that I feel like I need to have done more homework. For example, when £/sqm rough numbers are given, I don’t know whether that is intended to roughly encompass all the costs of the build, or whether you then add on things like utility connections, site security, etc.

Utility costs can vary so widely. Our first estimate for an electricity supply was £26,500 and the final cost was £450. You need to include that in your final cost/m2 as otherwise you’re doing a bit of man maths. I did set separate budgets for each element including utilities. Had we not been able to get the electricity supply estimate down from £26500 we might not have gone ahead for example. The second estimate after I challenged it was £5000. 

[Kelvin]

We looked at two plots before buying this one. The first plot was in England and we took that quite far before pulling out and our reason was simply a gut feeling that it wasn’t the right plot for us. It was hard to put our finger on why other than it didn’t feel right. We then looked at another plot this time in Scotland. Had an acre of land, planning permission for a modern steading style house and it came with an enormous old mill, cottage, and workshop all as a single large barn. I loved it other half hated it so that was also a no. The same day, and quite by accident, we happened across another plot just going onto the market (they were literally putting the sign up) We stepped over the burn and onto the plot (which was a very sloped field covered in gorse) and we both instantly said this is it. Offer in the same day.  
 

My general approach is if there’s some doubt about something then you don’t do it until you can address that. 

[torre]

11 hours ago, maison d'etre said:

I feel like a failure for walking away from an opportunity to do it.

 

I think instead you should feel proud of yourself for taking the brave decision to walk away - for realising that now may not the best time in you and your family's lives and that this may not be the best opportunity to build what you want.

 

It's easy to get so caught up in the dream of a self build that eventually you might sleep walk into doing it at the wrong time just to realise that dream.

 

You've plenty of time to build a house in the future, there are always more plots (doesn't always feel that way!) and one day you'll find something that suits you better - better timing, better chance of building exactly what you want. Take your time, enjoy your kids growing up, keep your eyes open and look at each opportunity as it comes along.

[nod]

39 minutes ago, Kelvin said:

Utility costs can vary so widely. Our first estimate for an electricity supply was £26,500 and the final cost was £450. You need to include that in your final cost/m2 as otherwise you’re doing a bit of man maths. I did set separate budgets for each element including utilities. Had we not been able to get the electricity supply estimate down from £26500 we might not have gone ahead for example. The second estimate after I challenged it was £5000. 

Your so right with the utilities 

We where quoted 19k as the road needed to be traffic lighted for four days The next quote came in at 5k No apparent reason for the difference 

Both subbed the work out to local contractors 

[maison d'etre]

2 hours ago, Kelvin said:

Our first estimate for an electricity supply was £26,500 and the final cost was £450. 

 

What?! That's incredible.

Thanks for the replies, they're a great help. I called the agent and it was suggested to offer less than the asking price as the seller wants to get rid of the land, which wasn't helpful!

The question of timing is a tricky one. I suspect that, like a lot of things, there will never be a perfect time. My OH and I have said that if we do a build, especially if it is a sizeable house, it would be nice to do it sooner rather than later, so that the children can grow up in it. Having a large house once it is just the two of you seems a bit of a waste. Our eldest is 8, so given the timeframe of a build, it's probably a good time for us to get a useful amount of family life out of the end result. But it is difficult trying to weigh that against the lost time spent together without trying to juggle a build, effects on holidays due to budgeting, etc.

[Alan Ambrose]

I think that unless you have, for instance, some land in the family, then plots in the SE that make any economic sense are few and far between. Then you have a bunch of bidders, who haven’t done good arithmetic, who will bid over the odds.

[maison d'etre]

That has been against us before with houses that are potential projects - we get surprised by something unexpected on the market, so aren't in a great position to buy as we are not in the process of selling; make an offer but are reticent because the costs of house plus what we'd like to do to it are troubling; get outbid by people who either want the house in its existing state, or haven't thought about the costs of the next bit, or are wealthy enough not to care.

To clarify, yes, we are in Southern England. Not quite the SE, but North Buckinghamshire, so not an affordable area.

[Alan Ambrose]

If you’re lucky you might break even but end up with the house you mostly want - but likely after a few battles with planners, contractors, neighbours etc.

[Indy]

6 minutes ago, Alan Ambrose said:

If you’re lucky you might break even but end up with the house you mostly want - but likely after a few battles with planners, contractors, neighbours etc.

This. Pretty much the only reason why I'm still sticking with the whole process. 

 

The market where I am has definitely softened in the last 12-18m, so it's now possible to buy something which offers us the same 'amount' of space as we're currently building and largely delivering the other criteria (area, garden, proximity to schools, transport etc). 

 

However, every single one of them will need to be reconfigured and need additional time and money spent to get us the house in the condition that we want, the configuration we want, with the specific finishes and all that jazz. At which point, its just easier to build your own and do it all properly anyway and then you know exactly what's gone into the whole process and what to expect.

 

[Pocster]

It’s tricky I think .

You’re never going to find a plot where everything is doable I.e affordable in whatever time scale you want .

Regarding renting when the build starts I would suggest buying - then you have a permanent’ home that could appreciate- of course if you take as long as me that’s a good tactic 😊.

Is it worth it against cost / hassle / stress ?.

Only the brave ( and also foolish ) do it , there’s certainly no shame in letting it go .

Once we got planning after 5 years of me fighting the easiest route was sell our house and the plot . Buy something else and be mortgage free - the dream !  
But ! , that felt too easy , no challenge . So I took the long winded stressful / difficult/ time consuming route . Why ? . Because it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity - no way am I letting that slide .

Edited 2 hours ago by Pocster

[Kelvin]

1 hour ago, maison d'etre said:

 

What?! That's incredible.

Thanks for the replies, they're a great help. I called the agent and it was suggested to offer less than the asking price as the seller wants to get rid of the land, which wasn't helpful!

The question of timing is a tricky one. I suspect that, like a lot of things, there will never be a perfect time. My OH and I have said that if we do a build, especially if it is a sizeable house, it would be nice to do it sooner rather than later, so that the children can grow up in it. Having a large house once it is just the two of you seems a bit of a waste. Our eldest is 8, so given the timeframe of a build, it's probably a good time for us to get a useful amount of family life out of the end result. But it is difficult trying to weigh that against the lost time spent together without trying to juggle a build, effects on holidays due to budgeting, etc.

My kids are in their 20s now so will never (unlikely anyway) to live on the house we built. I’d have liked to have done it when they were little. But life wasn’t aligned quite so well then. 
 

Regards timing, there’s rarely a right time especially if you consider everything that’s happened over the last 5 years. 4 years ago I quit my job, we sold our house and moved to Scotland all at the same time so I forced the situation to make it as right a time as it was ever going to be. 
 

And don’t build a significantly bigger house than you need. If you plan it well a smaller house can feel bigger than it is. The house we built is 210m2 and the previous house we owned was 350m2. We use 100% of the house we built compared to about 50% of the previous house. 

[Mr Punter]

18 minutes ago, Kelvin said:

My kids are in their 20s now so will never (unlikely anyway) to live on the house we built.

 

What is the trick to get rid of them?

[Pocster]

1 minute ago, Mr Punter said:

 

What is the trick to get rid of them?

Let them know you looked at their browser history 

[Kelvin]

54 minutes ago, Mr Punter said:

 

What is the trick to get rid of them?

I moved to Scotland. 😂 One lives in St Neots and the other in Wimbledon. 

[Pocster]

14 minutes ago, Kelvin said:

I moved to Scotland. 😂 One lives in St Neots and the other in Wimbledon. 

Is that because you looked at their browser history?