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What they don't tell you about owning a digger


The chant "Yer wanna get a digger mate!" started in 2014, and I finally got one two years later. The chanters were right. But what I didn't hear was what they were chanting (sniggering) under their breath. "You're gonna get covered in grease".

Let's start at the beginning. How much does a digger cost to hire? £70 per day. How much does it cost to transport it to and from your house / plot? £25. All plus VAT. Bang goes £300 / £350 per week. And it rains, or there's a delay, and it sits there leering at you like some hideous demented mechanical giraffe  whispering softly in your ear Use Me Use Me If You dare. But you can't because it's hissing down. And suddenly it's Friday, a couple of hundred pounds has flown out of the window, and two of the jobs you had planned haven't been done.

And soon you're driving around noting every single digger sitting there idle in a field or on the roadside and NOBODY'S USING IT. It shouldn't be allowed. Diggers are expensive; they should not be left idle. Or rather those ones that are idle should be loaned to you the second the owner decides to have a day off. It's OK, you'll come and fetch it and bring it back when the owner needs it. Anything but let a digger be idle when you haven't got one.

And then you do a bit of maths: how many jobs around the site do we need a digger for? And the list gets longer by the week. The children start muttering about dad being on about a digger for Christmas and birthday present all wrapped into one. And then you start noticing things like zero-swing diggers, and that's a 22 tonner, and is that a 2.6 tonne or 2.5 tonne digger? Soon, you know how to tell. The next thing is: JCB or Kubota? Or maybe Volvo? Hmmm. Well Kubota have reliable engines (other companies fit Kubota engines) JCB - well, a bit sloppy round the edges.

Looking on Tinternet for prices and maybe the odd trip out -just to look, no more you understand. A budget number bubbles up in your spreadsheet against the Heading Plant and Equipment. Suddenly there's 10K more than planned. But, you can re-sell it at the end of the build.  So nett off the cost against the hire cost (minus VAT) and you're in profit (Ha!).

The digger duly arrives. And suddenly a whole world opens up. Move that Cherry tree, no problem (that wasn't on the list), shove those steels through your son's windows (after he takes them out) no problem; move two tonnes of stone quickly from one place to then other - well not quite no problem, but you aren't sweating. See a problem, turn the key. Dig your SuDS drainage in less time than you thought. Move that newt hibernacular three meters to the right: done. The dozer blade is awesome (I hate that word: but here it's the right word).

And then there's the maintenance schedule. A Kubota has more nipples than a prize sow. And God can they suck grease. And I'm not the best at changing grease cartridges - when I'd finished I knew what the phrase Grease Monkey meant.

I will not want to sell it. How on earth am I going to get that past Debbie?

 

  • Like 8

19 Comments


Recommended Comments

daiking

Posted (edited)

xD

Does it fit on your trailer? Fancy coming down to Manchester to dig my garden? :D

Edited by daiking
Guest MrsRA

Posted

Quote

I will not want to sell it. How on earth am I going to get that past Debbie?

Forewarned is forearmed! You're not.

Declan52

Posted

Wait till you're knee deep in muck and gutters after throwing a track and see how many swear words you can mutter.

The bigger the digger the easier they are to drive and a lot more fun but by god can they do a whole lot of damage in the blink of an eye.

  • Like 2
ToughButterCup

Posted

9 hours ago, MrsRA said:

Forewarned is forearmed! You're not.

Oh God. Oh God

There's an object lesson in why  openness is a bad thing.

jack

Posted

12 hours ago, MrsRA said:

Forewarned is forearmed! You're not.

I like you.  You should stick around! B|

DeeJunFan

Posted

And don't forget to keep the engine clean.  Too much grease/oil in there and you'll be like my groundsman.

Digger went on fire digging the garage footings!

ToughButterCup

Posted

20 hours ago, jack said:

I like you.  You should stick around! B|

I am so tempted to abuse my rights as an admin.

  • Like 1
Ferdinand

Posted

8 hours ago, recoveringacademic said:

I am so tempted to abuse my rights as an admin.

Stop .. er .. digging.

How does Mrs RA get a content count of 2 from a single posting? We should be told.

Nickfromwales

Posted

She's got a man on the inside. 

Welcome aboard Debbie !

I like the avatar. You and Les make a 'wonderful' couple :/

:PxD

ToughButterCup

Posted

Erm, I wonder how Nora Batty feels about your comment Nick?

Nickfromwales

Posted

Lock her in the kitchen until she calms down ;)

Declan52

Posted

Give her a go in the digger. My wife loved her go in it. Had her loading up a dumper after a bit of coaching. 

Well when I say loading the truth is I could have filled it quicker with a tea spoon but it kept her quiet for a while.

Guest MrsRA

Posted

Funny you should say that ... in due course: £sale of digger = shiny new kitchen 9_9.

ProDave

Posted

29 minutes ago, MrsRA said:

Funny you should say that ... in due course: £sale of digger = shiny new kitchen 9_9.

In the case of my old digger = "cheapest howdens kitchen" 

ToughButterCup

Posted

35 minutes ago, MrsRA said:

Funny you should say that ... in due course: £sale of digger = shiny new kitchen 9_9.

Hhhhhhhhh....... mmmmmm.... nnnn.... :o

Now, what that solicitor's number...?

PeterW

Posted

I'll give you £50 for it and a camping stove .... 9_9

MikeSharp01

Posted

Ah the great digger debate is swirling. If you think you can get into trouble with your private digger take a look at pic below of a professional at work last week on next doors demolition. Took five of them, and they needed another digger, all day to get it out, I have the video, putting the track on took 4 hours, the hydraulic adjuster broke and they needed my grease gun to get into the adjuster cavity. Anyway the funniest bit is that it fell into a ditch I had dug, with my mini Takuchi, for my neighbour the week before for his power cable and they knew it was there. Thank goodness my little 1.5T tracks are just about carry-able!  

 

20160609_123216-blank.jpg

ToughButterCup

Posted

Oh Dear, Never Mind. Whaaaat A Shame!

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