Jilly Posted June 27 Share Posted June 27 (edited) A family member struggles with life. They have kids and their father (not living with them) is very ill. I want to help them buy a property as rents are so expensive (as is property) for their future security, but everything is just on the wrong side of affordability. They can’t move to a cheaper area as the one good thing in their lives is that the children are at a very good secondary school. Any creative ideas on how to make this work, and the pitfalls to look out for? Edited June 27 by Jilly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeSharp01 Posted June 27 Share Posted June 27 Tough one. Have looked at shared ownership opportunities it may be a route they could take and then purchase the other portion in time. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteamyTea Posted June 27 Share Posted June 27 3 things pop into my mind. There are other good schools in other places. A home does not need to be a conventional house. Can Family Trusts (or other tax vehicles) help with finances. Just thought up another, the seaside is always best. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joe90 Posted June 27 Share Posted June 27 1 minute ago, SteamyTea said: Just thought up another, the seaside is always best. But usually more expensive 🤷♂️ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteamyTea Posted June 27 Share Posted June 27 Just now, joe90 said: But usually more expensive 🤷♂️ Not always. The perfect seaview may be expensive, but often a mile inland is cheap. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nod Posted June 27 Share Posted June 27 12 minutes ago, joe90 said: But usually more expensive 🤷♂️ Unless is Blackpool Or not so great Yarmouth 😁 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToughButterCup Posted June 27 Share Posted June 27 1 hour ago, Jilly said: ... the one good thing in their lives is that the children are at a very good secondary school. Any creative ideas on how to make this work, and the pitfalls to look out for? Children don't stay at school for ever. Ours flew the nest after we gave them as much money as we could (some would say bribed ?) In any case we're horrible parents - insist on clean rooms no loud sex after midnight, no drugs, limited rock and roll . If we found their booze we stole it, usually by accident. Well one bottle just looks like another. It worked. That meant we could live in a smaller house. Is four or five years too long to wait? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twice round the block Posted June 27 Share Posted June 27 Does the father pay maintenance? Will this stop when the children are out of full time education? Will any of the children go on to university to continue their education? Will the family member take on another partner next year, 5 year's, 10 year's? It's your savings and your the only person that will know if your going to need the money later in life. Life and circumstances can change overnight. We helped all our children get on the property ladder with large handouts and kicking them out! we discuss now if it was the most sensible thing to have done with a chunk of our savings now we're getting older. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteamyTea Posted June 27 Share Posted June 27 (edited) 42 minutes ago, ToughButterCup said: Children don't stay at school for ever. And learning continues for the rest of our lives. School education is not always the best, bright, sensible and motivated children/people will always shine. 42 minutes ago, ToughButterCup said: we gave them as much money as we could 18 minutes ago, twice round the block said: with large handouts Now my Mother charged me a third of my gross wage (punished me financially). Was a bargain when I was 17 and earned £40/week, was cheaper to buy a play when I finished my apprenticeship and was earning over £120/week. 43 minutes ago, ToughButterCup said: no loud sex after midnight Same thing happens now as I live alone. Edited June 27 by SteamyTea 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick Thomas Posted June 27 Share Posted June 27 (edited) 3 hours ago, Jilly said: Any creative ideas on how to make this work, and the pitfalls to look out for? It's tough if you don't have the money upfront - mortgage terms and conditions make all the inventive approaches a breach of contract. Although, uh, one could ask how they might come to find out *cough*. Currently my sister owns a house and I have a charge on it with the land registry; that'll come off when she finishes repayments to me, or as part of a sale. Pretty sure mortgage companies would object mightily to that one. I didn't find much in the way of useful products when I was looking to get her housed - all the products seemed aimed at intergenerational wealth transfer. I *did* interview for a job with this lot a couple of years ago though: https://www.generationhome.com/ . Seemed like it might have helped, but I didn't dig into it much as they wanted employees to spend two days a week in an office in London, bless 'em. edit: Yeah, "Income Booster" and "Deposit Booster" lets your family member have a mortgage while you improve their eligibility without living there. Of course, they charge a premium for it. Edited June 27 by Nick Thomas 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Ambrose Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 I admire your good intentions. But do plan for the many ways this may not work out and check that you’ll still be happy if those turn out to be the case. We have a situation where we helped out with a family situation and it’s back-fired terribly. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Jones Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 We looked at this a couple years ago when eldest bought his first with the then girlfriend. If they need a mortgage and you are supplying part of the deposit you have to sign a legal document relinquishing any rights at all, certifying its a gift not a loan. Only way was for us to buy the house as a BTL personally and rent it to them which defeated the object not to mention tax, even looked at ltd co BTL so my son could be a shareholder but that also is forbidden by the mortgage co. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jilly Posted June 28 Author Share Posted June 28 Thanks everyone. I know there are a heap of pitfalls, not least due to the temperament differences which have made us 'lucky' and them 'unlucky' with their previous life choices. The father is in dire straits himself and unable to support them. This has to be a protective safety net which I have been lucky enough to have. Communicating the difference between the gift of a fishing rod vs the fish is the issue... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToughButterCup Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 13 hours ago, twice round the block said: .... We helped all our children get on the property ladder with large handouts and kicking them out! we discuss now if it was the most sensible thing to have done with a chunk of our savings now we're getting older. I thought it was just us that did that kind of thing. Bloody good idea wasn't it. They come back now and again and say things like " You've learned a good deal since we left ", and "How did you cope with three of us, and no grandparents of your own." Light-weights all of them. Lightweights. 17 minutes ago, Jilly said: .... Communicating the difference between the gift of a fishing rod vs the fish is the issue... A mate of mine comes in to visit occasionally and offload on what appears to me to be a very similar issue. At every turn it seems, his efforts are nullified by some external factor. I try to reassure by reminding him that he hasn't given up trying, - and neither will he - and then pointing to the families he knows where, little by little, contact has slipped into silence > christmas and birthdays> facebook follows > the odd comment > deeper silence. And then long breaks. Isolation. I know you well enough to know that you're not going to do that. Open commitment to people - despite what life throws at us is - very hard. And maybe hard enough for now? Don't underestimate your gift of obvious commitment and moral support. And in three or four years ...... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LSB Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 14 hours ago, nod said: Unless is Blackpool Or not so great Yarmouth 😁 we were visiting Blackpool last week to visit family and went to many of the local place. Fleetwood was cheap as was Morcombe, Lytham St. Annes, not so much. North is generally much cheaper than the south. Where are the family. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iceverge Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 17 hours ago, Jilly said: A family member struggles with life. They have kids and their father (not living with them) is very ill. I want to help them buy a property as rents are so expensive (as is property) for their future security, but everything is just on the wrong side of affordability. They can’t move to a cheaper area as the one good thing in their lives is that the children are at a very good secondary school. Any creative ideas on how to make this work, and the pitfalls to look out for? Have they asked for help? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jilly Posted June 28 Author Share Posted June 28 Yes, they have asked, and I can see that they need it. They are in the south, so not a cheap area. They are currently renting and the house is far from ideal: one child has a bedroom, the other sleeps on the landing (landlord promised they would create a bedroom 2 years ago and it hasn’t happened) and my sibling sleeps in the modest kitchen/living room. Their rent is expensive and could be going towards a house and some stability in my eyes. These living conditions exacerbate mental health issues. It’s very difficult for people to drag themselves out of this kind of situation without help of some kind. People have helped me, and I feel we all need to pass it on in a caring society. It sounds simple, but it is not so easy to just move to a cheaper area, where there will be no friends or family support. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iceverge Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 (edited) 26 minutes ago, Jilly said: Their rent is expensive and could be going towards a house and some stability in my eyes Perfectly reasonable approach but everyone sees things differently. I would be apprensive of presenting a solution to someone unless they really enthusiastically agreed with it. I know of a situation where someone was gifted a brand new house in a nice estate by a family member in the same village in order to divide up and sell their deceased parents house which was smaller and much less habitable. They just didn't move out and the new house is/was idle. 26 minutes ago, Jilly said: These living conditions exacerbate mental health issues. It’s very difficult for people to drag themselves out of this kind of situation without help of some kind. People have helped me, and I feel we all need to pass it on in a caring society. Very true. 26 minutes ago, Jilly said: It sounds simple, but it is not so easy to just move to a cheaper area, where there will be no friends or family support Whilst a new house in the same location may be the ideal situation but we don't live in an ideal world. Shifting kids around the country isn't ideal, especially if they're doing well in their current school. Perhaps just sucking up the current living arrangement for a few years until school is finished might be the best. You could maybe then get somewhere for their mum. Alternatively give some cash to the kids towards their education, school trips , uniforms etc and take some pressure off their mother. Maybe you could pay something towards university or training if they were keen. Edited June 28 by Iceverge 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jilly Posted June 28 Author Share Posted June 28 I revisit this idea from time to time when I see how awful their living conditions are. I do already help as much as I can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Ambrose Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 Maybe simple one-off gifts with no expectation of recurrence? I’ve ‘invested’ in a young friend’s company but I’m regarding it as a gift that I don’t expect to be returned. He deserves support. If his company works, great, if not, it was a gift anyway. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nod Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 12 hours ago, LSB said: we were visiting Blackpool last week to visit family and went to many of the local place. Fleetwood was cheap as was Morcombe, Lytham St. Annes, not so much. North is generally much cheaper than the south. Where are the family. Lytham is very expensive Around ten times more expensive than parts of Blackpool 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iceverge Posted June 29 Share Posted June 29 5 hours ago, Alan Ambrose said: Maybe simple one-off gifts with no expectation of recurrence? I’ve ‘invested’ in a young friend’s company but I’m regarding it as a gift that I don’t expect to be returned. He deserves support. If his company works, great, if not, it was a gift anyway. A one off gift is often spend with haste and quickly forgotten. A persistent small annuity might buy more comfort in the long term. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Ambrose Posted June 29 Share Posted June 29 (edited) Yeah, but a while back a mate of mine who was flush at that time helped a friend who was out of work pay his mortgage for a bit. After 6 months or so, my mate said he couldn’t afford to support the friend’s mortgage for eternity and the arrangement had to end. The friend got upset and this resulted in conflict. Rather than the friend being grateful for 6 months of support the friend ended up being hostile. Human nature for you. Edited June 29 by Alan Ambrose 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Ambrose Posted June 29 Share Posted June 29 >>> I do already help as much as I can. Well that’s probably all you can do then financially … apart from being a sympathetic ear. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteamyTea Posted June 29 Share Posted June 29 8 hours ago, Alan Ambrose said: friend ended up being hostile Probably from desperation. I saw a good neighbour loose his house in the early 1990s. It was horrible to watch. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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