Bitpipe Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 Decision tree: 1) Do you have budget at present for reverting to original? N - don't change it Y - go to Q2 2) Can YOU live with the change back to original spec (you don't have to be happy about it)? N - don't change it Y - go to Q3 3) Can SHE live with the change to the new spec (she doesn't have to be happy about it)? Y - don't change it N - go to Q4 4) Could you both spend the money on something more important OR defer the decision to end of build when dust has settled (assumes it's cost neutral to change now/later - but before VAT claim)? Y - don't change it (yet) N - change it now As said before by me and many others, this is the current self build crisis but only until the next self build crisis arrives to take its place. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SimonD Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 40 minutes ago, Bitpipe said: Decision tree: 1) Do you have budget at present for reverting to original? N - don't change it Y - go to Q2 2) Can YOU live with the change back to original spec (you don't have to be happy about it)? N - don't change it Y - go to Q3 3) Can SHE live with the change to the new spec (she doesn't have to be happy about it)? Y - don't change it N - go to Q4 4) Could you both spend the money on something more important OR defer the decision to end of build when dust has settled (assumes it's cost neutral to change now/later - but before VAT claim)? Y - don't change it (yet) N - change it now As said before by me and many others, this is the current self build crisis but only until the next self build crisis arrives to take its place. Well, if we're to sensible about it ?, I'd suggest a sincere apology together with a promise never to do it again and just ask her how she would like it to be put right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteamyTea Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 Just tell her the Cornish Stonemason is on his way drekkly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pocster Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 1 hour ago, Bitpipe said: Decision tree: 1) Do you have budget at present for reverting to original? N - don't change it Y - go to Q2 2) Can YOU live with the change back to original spec (you don't have to be happy about it)? N - don't change it Y - go to Q3 3) Can SHE live with the change to the new spec (she doesn't have to be happy about it)? Y - don't change it N - go to Q4 4) Could you both spend the money on something more important OR defer the decision to end of build when dust has settled (assumes it's cost neutral to change now/later - but before VAT claim)? Y - don't change it (yet) N - change it now As said before by me and many others, this is the current self build crisis but only until the next self build crisis arrives to take its place. Simplified decision tree: 1) Do you want a happy life? N goto Q3 Y goto Q2 2) Conceed to SWMBO exit(0) 3) Do it your way and suffer for an eternity . exit (#FATAL_ERROR) 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bitpipe Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 32 minutes ago, pocster said: Simplified decision tree: 1) Do you want a happy life? N goto Q3 Y goto Q2 2) Conceed to SWMBO exit(0) 3) Do it your way and suffer for an eternity . exit (#FATAL_ERROR) The optimised M68000 version. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 ;PUT ANY ASSIGNMENTS HERE ORG $1000 START: LEA MESSAGE, A1 MOVE.B #14, D0 TRAP #15 SIMHALT *PUT VARIABLES AND CONSTANTS HERE MESSAGE DC.B 'YES DEAR',0 END START 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pocster Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 5 minutes ago, Bitpipe said: The optimised M68000 version. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 ;PUT ANY ASSIGNMENTS HERE ORG $1000 START: LEA MESSAGE, A1 MOVE.B #14, D0 TRAP #15 SIMHALT *PUT VARIABLES AND CONSTANTS HERE MESSAGE DC.B 'YES DEAR',0 END START I can see we are going to have a nerd fight ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bitpipe Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 2 minutes ago, pocster said: I can see we are going to have a nerd fight ! Can we have it using Extended Backus Naur rules? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Punter Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 (edited) The version on the render gives a nice crisp horizontal break between the ceiling and tiled wall. Also, the column and left hand nib are set back from the section above and the ceiling into the alcove above the sink is level without a step. These small details can have quite an impact on the overall look but it is more than just tile / plaster and difficult to do now. I would be concerned about spending time and money ripping out the tiles and still not achieving the aesthetic in the render. The ceiling looks great btw. Edited February 15, 2022 by Mr Punter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adsibob Posted February 15, 2022 Author Share Posted February 15, 2022 4 hours ago, pocster said: Can we take bets on this ? I’ll put 1 zillion pounds on SWMBO winning Am I allowed to bet on her? If so, yes let's take bets. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jack Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 I find the SWMBO references interesting. We all have our relationship challenges and imperfections, but being told what to do by my wife isn't one of them. We tend to decide by consensus, partly because we're both decent people, but mainly because we're both so stubborn that there's no way either of us would ever allow the other to boss us around. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pocster Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 14 minutes ago, jack said: I find the SWMBO references interesting. We all have our relationship challenges and imperfections, but being told what to do by my wife isn't one of them. We tend to decide by consensus, partly because we're both decent people, but mainly because we're both so stubborn that there's no way either of us would ever allow the other to boss us around. Your SWMBO sounds like mine. But on a self build there are cunning ways to get her to agree . Take internal doors for example . She wants to have input on that . So I send her loads of links / photos etc . The response then is “ you choose I trust you “ - easy . I did the same with glazing , cladding , door handles , even tiles . Overwhelm a SWMBO with too many options and she’ll gladly pass the work your way …. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SimonD Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 30 minutes ago, jack said: I find the SWMBO references interesting. We all have our relationship challenges and imperfections, but being told what to do by my wife isn't one of them. We tend to decide by consensus, partly because we're both decent people, but mainly because we're both so stubborn that there's no way either of us would ever allow the other to boss us around. I agree. For me they're made in gest. I've never done what I'm told and I can be terribly intransigent if something or someone rubs me up the wrong way and so can my wife, but the implied partnered/consensus decision contract was breached here by the OP. Once one side breaches that agreement, I feel she's in her rights to ask for a re-appraisal of the decision made without her consent and for it to be rectified based on her feelings and preferences. She's going to be living there and will be reminded of the decision for as long as it remains, even if she accepts the new design. Painful as it might be, you just don't make decisions like this, even if it seems minor, without consulting your partner, as what underlies this is not the design per say, but the relationship and trust, which is probably really why she's upset - he did it without her. And to resolve it, don't make it about the economics. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SimonD Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 34 minutes ago, pocster said: Overwhelm a SWMBO with too many options and she’ll gladly pass the work your way …. Well, mine doesn't fall for that. She doesn't look at the links, books, mags, references and she doesn't pass it all my way. She asks to 'see' something before we make the decision. Because she doesn't visualise these things well, it means we actually have to wait until the space is created to make the decisions and it only then becomes tangible for her. But she's very much sharing the pain with the building so that's just got to be how it is, even when she worries about things that aren't an issue for me, I've got to resolve those worries before we proceed. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pocster Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 19 minutes ago, SimonD said: Well, mine doesn't fall for that. She doesn't look at the links, books, mags, references and she doesn't pass it all my way. She asks to 'see' something before we make the decision. Because she doesn't visualise these things well, it means we actually have to wait until the space is created to make the decisions and it only then becomes tangible for her. But she's very much sharing the pain with the building so that's just got to be how it is, even when she worries about things that aren't an issue for me, I've got to resolve those worries before we proceed. My SWMBO can’t visualise either . I tell her it’s massive and she still can’t see it . 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorfun Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 3 minutes ago, pocster said: My SWMBO can’t visualise either . I tell her it’s massive and she still can’t see it . this self-building stuff has ruined me too as for years I told my wife what 12 inches looks like and now she's confused about timber sizes etc. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pocster Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 3 minutes ago, Thorfun said: this self-building stuff has ruined me too as for years I told my wife what 12 inches looks like and now she's confused about timber sizes etc. I could never measure correctly- so I know that feeling Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CharlieKLP Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 (edited) I would be annoyed if my other half made a choice without consulting me, but I also am easy going. It’s not really gender split from what I have seen in practice. The one time I noticed the husband was allowed total ‘free choice’, they got divorced just before they started building and he realised why that was, in front of me during a meeting, it was awkward. (she was having an affair and they ended up living next door to each other). Edited February 15, 2022 by CharlieKLP 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorfun Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 5 minutes ago, pocster said: I could never measure correctly yeah.....we're aware ? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CharlieKLP Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 (edited) On 14/02/2022 at 18:44, Adsibob said: there are no curtains. Let me give some more details for context: Version in digital render: What we did (without consulting SWMBO): I really like it, looks like a really nice pizzeria. I’m joking genuinely it looks awesome, cool ceiling. I’ve no idea how you do that structurally. Edited February 15, 2022 by CharlieKLP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pocster Posted February 16, 2022 Share Posted February 16, 2022 (edited) @Adsibob you need a 3rd opinion , not just yours and SWMBO . What does your mistress think ? Edited February 16, 2022 by pocster 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteamyTea Posted February 16, 2022 Share Posted February 16, 2022 51 minutes ago, pocster said: What does your mistress think ? Mine don't think. That would defeat the object. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pocster Posted February 16, 2022 Share Posted February 16, 2022 7 hours ago, SteamyTea said: Mine don't think. That would defeat the object. Yes . When she’s with you the capability to think is restricted/ removed . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteamyTea Posted February 16, 2022 Share Posted February 16, 2022 (edited) 4 minutes ago, pocster said: Yes . When she’s with you the capability to think is restricted/ removed . All she has to do is act. Conversation is limited to praising me. Why I dress as a Catholic Priest, Jimmy Saville or Paul Gadd. Edited February 16, 2022 by SteamyTea Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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