Ferdinand

Welcome to the forum. I'm going to imagine that your name means you want the loft room for making moonshine. The problems that make a loft room difficult tend to be clearances (eg can you get a high enough ceiling over a big enough area to be useful once you have put enough insulation in to make it comfortable, can you fit a decent stairway in - not too steep etc without risk of bumping heads) and structural (can the floor be made strong enough without compromising some other element), and is it worth it on the price of the house. If it was done by people who knew their onions, and they chose not to 'regularise' it with the authorities, which would let them sell as an extra habitable room, then there is probably a damn good reason hiding in the woodwork somewhere. Otherwise why wouldn't they? One option is to get a loft conversion specialist out - they are everywhere just Google it - and say 'it was done in 1995 and we want to know what we need to do to make it a real room, please would you give us a quote". That way you may find that it cannot be done economically, or that it can be done and you need to do XYZ. You could find that some of the works are difficult enough to need a specialist. And you will have a better handle on the concepts. Ferdinand

@AliG "Laundry room". - I should have guessed ? I think your comment about many Americans not getting the point of hair shirts for the sake of it is well made. There is a parallel one where some green enthusiasts don't get the point of using energy efficiency for facilitating an existing lifestyle rather than making an even more tightly woven hair shirt. Good conversation. Do you have a number for energy use per unit area? Ferdinand

Can you do anything about that Tumble Dryer? eg Pulley Maid.

You need to borrow the head of somebody's secret police...

Following that up, On three rooms deep - my GF rooms one side are (F to B) study-lounge-conservatory, and on the other spare-bedroom - stairs with bathroom under - kitchen. Garage-utility are where the side drive used to be. I plan to remove the wall between the study and lounge to give me a through room to help with the darkish lounge. Ideally I would have double doors to a breakfast terrace under a loggia at the front, but the bay window is only 10 years old so it may be an extravagance to do now. The front will still be a study / 2nd living room, and I will have foldaway shutters or internal glass double doors. Try thinking about positioning the utility to the back of the garage, or make it more longitudinal - such that you can create a double aspect room running into the kitchen to improve light penetration. So you have one side that has blockages, and the other side that does not. In the posted plan, light is blocked front to back on both sides of the plan. Or do that and swap the lounge and study. If you look on the blog at how my downstairs shower room is done it is actually under the stairs / transverse landing. F

Have a look at what you could do eg with turning your staircase into a large light well. F

A swimming pool and a games room AND a 70 sqm kitchen? You old lounge lizard you. (Personally I'm planning a dance floor - but not enough depth for the sprung maple version without digging up all the concrete and the ufh).

I'd concur that it feels bedroom heavy. One solution might be to pull the garage forward to stick out a little. Could be a nice feature on the 'face' of the house. Jack and Jill bathroom spaces can often translate to two ensuites plus some storage. I am in a 4/5 bed bungalow conversion, where they did do the conversion after reducing it to three walls and a hole, with South also being the front. I am planning some changes, one of which his how to turn my sun-side into a practical 'front courtyard garden' such that a dining terrace would work on that side without impinging on privacy. The plan is perhaps an arcade or loggia. But I front onto a tiny lane. In your case quite a lot could be done with a relaxing space down the garden eg hedges round an italianate pool as a private sunbathing spot, bbq etc. Mine is too short to avoid shadows from the house all day. You could perhaps also get more living space by a single story space at the back. Ferdinand

In which case you can draw your "leave for the future" line around things which don't get included in the VAT relief (?)

Where's North? Am I correct the road is on the SE side?

What's a "facewash"? Genuine question - never heard of it. I use a sink of water and a bar of soap; is this why am ugly? @AliG So the pool is only 20%. Not dominantly enormous. But Tesla plus pool is nearly half. Can you do anything about that Tesla chunk? Battery system used on divert from the solar or picks up overnight tariff etc that stores up power to charge the T and run the baseload? In the kitchen you have approx 30-35 7W lights for 70 sqm. I have approx 16 4W LED GU10s lights for 26 sqm, so your intensity sounds only 10-20% high by comparison. Movement detectors as a solution? Can you just get more towels, so less need to wash so frequently (looking at the other end). Counting up what I inherited from mum gives me the best part of three dozen towels which could last me till 2030. I think your lockdown / non-lockdown difference might be worth considering - is the usage higher than last year? I'm taking it that you are on your best choice of tariff. Assuming you have no sewerage plant. Interesting little issue I have now is that I seem to have developed tinnitus in the last 9 months (think it's a side effect from a very nasty winter bug last year). I now sometimes have a several second periodic woosh-woosh-woosh in my left ear, which I first thought was a maintenance issue in the heating circulation - like listening to an AM seashell. But I now can't hear things like the warming drawer and the mcrowave when running, so I keep leaving them on sometimes overnight.

Thanks - useful. Yes I have a strong framework. I build 2m post-and-half-round things like tall horse fences. The blackberry is on one too.

I think that's a really interesting question @daiking- 'I've been reflecting having inherited my garden this year, and one of my notes has been that the South Side of mine is actually on the main entrance side where I park my car, away from the kitchen at the back which faces North. So I have decided I want a sitting terrace and a pergola that side with fruit growing on it (at which point I remembered that in the garden where I grew up mum used to have things called "vertical cordon" plums and a greengage, which is the most pleasant plum of all. So I want one of those by the posts of my pergola. It will have the solar panels on top and help shelter my office from running up to 35C by mid morning in summer. But that means I will probably want a gate for more security (or at least deterrence), and perhaps something slightly higher than my 5'6" front wall for privacy. I will do that by building a frame about 2" back which will have the already established Pyracantha climbing on it. I've always loved thinking about garden / house integration as part of the design process - inpspired by the likes of Lutyens and my-dad-the-architect. I would suggest try approaching this the way you did the house - start with a one page List of Requirements, perhaps thinking about scenarios - drinking gin on a summer evening, bar-b-cue with neighbours, private space for behaving like your avatar and so on, and perhaps visit some other gardens. Vertical Cordons:

Knife Block Clearance I have just purchased a big knife block from Procook on clearance. Currently available at £40 for the big one that takes 10 knives (up to 25cm blade in longest 26m slot). Or £25 for the small 6 knife one. Here: https://www.procook.co.uk/shop/special-offers/clearance Also, at Procook if you spend £60 you get a free large chef's knife or vegetable (chef's knife minus point) or santoku (with side scoops) knife from their X50 range, which are the one's I use and like. There are also offers for the above blocks with either 10 or 6 knives for about £230 or £130. Note that the current free knives have beech handles. I've virtually equipped my entire kitchen from Procook over the last 3 years, as I have a local branch.

Update to this. I have just purchased a big knife block from Procook on clearance. Currently available at £40 for the big one that takes 10 knives (up to 25cm blade in longest 26m slot). Or £25 for the small 6 knife one. Here: https://www.procook.co.uk/shop/special-offers/clearance Also, at Procook if you spend £60 you get a free large chef's knife or vegetable (chef's knife minus point) or santoku (with side scoops) knife from their X50 range, which are the one's I use and like. There are also offers for the above blocks with either 10 or 6 knives for about £230 or £130. Note that the current free knives have beech handles.

I said in my opinion, and I hope I am wrong. EWI tends to fall in a category called "hard to insulate" (or similar), which can get excluded from schemes designed to make max impact for minimum buck. For similar reasons they sometimes leave out "room in roof" houses. They can do a normal roof (above ceiling) type loft in an hour or less - I had one where I turned up 15 minutes late and they had already finished. But doing it on the slope is far more complex and takes days or a week or two. Similarly new efficient boilers are sometimes in, sometimes out. I have been having free insulation etc in rentals since ages, and sometimes complex ones are included, and sometimes excluded. The last time EWI was included here was a special local scheme which gave iirc 2/3 of cost capped at 4k or 6k grant. The ones I looked at still didn't add up for me as an investment - as by the time all the normal stuff had been done there were not enough savings opportunities left on the remaining energy bills even with the subsidy. The Council cocked up quite a lot of it by failing to consider ventilation when doing EWI on trad houses. That is why I am rabbiting on about ventilation and sweating detail. The next thing to check is restrictions - as they tend to include certain requirements to make sure you are making best use of the money (which is very sensible). An example was the restriction of solar panel subsidies to higher EPC bands, or sometimes by economic status of the occupant. An interesting wrinkle there for LLs is that you are sometimes more likely to get funding once you have already moved a tenant in rather than when you are renovating. You just need to understand the scheme. One obvious thing on the current one is to get your skates on, as it is iirc this financial year only. Again very sensible if part of the idea is to start the economy rolling. [Update: delighted to see that EWI has actually been included] Ferdinand

Can anyone recommend a brand of strong gardening gauntlets. My current adversary is a Himalyan Giant Blackberry. Cheers Ferdinand

Seconds and Co are quite big. Have you asked them how they have handled the IOW before? Do they perhaps have their own contacts? F

I normally use a staple gun.

You're lucky that the place has only just fallen to the Greens. You've avoided the bylaw imposing a fixed penalty notice for being caught in possession of a bacon butty.

When I did an at exhibition in a small gallery in Nottingham a bit over a decade ago, it cost more to park the car for some time each day than it did to hire the gallery. So .. Brighton. Parking and a bit of digging. £400-500 ?

I'll let you know at the weekend ?

I think you should do it in copper.

On topic: I think this will make you very popular with Sageglass Inc ? . Can I ask another totally .. er .. ontopic question of our tinted glazing expert (*)? (Berry picking exhibition in Derbyshire later this week). Do blue tinted sunglasses make blackberries easier to see amongst the leaves? Ferdinand * This is the defined as the person who can answer my question.

I can see at least two Medieval torture devices in this thread. Why don't you just fill it with banzai spikes, cover it with camouflage, and have done with it? Find some sheep and you have homemade mutton kebab. Sod your cellar.