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That really inspires you with confidence for his attention to detail as you progress through the build ... Ask him for the details of his PI insurance. That'll put the shits up him hopefully!!

How about asking for a recommendation on the Plasterers’ Forum? https://plasterersforum.com/forums/public-looking-for-a-plasterer.91/

There were quite a few good ones including - Git yer fake-tanned bawface out of Scotland Go home yer big orange jobby When Trump said he'd visit Scotland we we said 'Aye Right' we were being sarcastic

I've used that a few times

What's 'eye-watering'? There are loads of metal legs available on eBay / Amazon. Depends what you have in mind I guess. Industrial Table Legs

We offered a stack of left over wood on gumtree. Would have been great for building or using in a log burner. We had a guy who wanted it who said that when he came to collect he would need access to power from the house so that he could saw it up. Told him no and had a big bonfire instead.

Bawbag Jobby Scunner Cockwomble to name a few more.

Have you paid the architect to oversee the construction? If so I would expect him to be dealing with this. If not then this sort of detail is down to the project manager really. Whose drawings are they? If they are not his and you haven’t paid for his ongoing services for this type of activity I’m not sure that you can necessarily lay the blame at his door. This is also why self builders tend to have all of the elements for the initial construction wrapped into the TF company’s remit so that components being provided in the wrong size become their responsibility not yours. So if for example you supply the windows yourself and they don’t fit it’s your issue not the TF company’s. Conversely if the TF company supplies them it’s their issue. The project manager still needs to oversee the construction however and ensure that the right windows are put in the right places.

I know! Thought it would be ok at the weekend! Stuck on M11 now!

It’s no bloody better now I’m thru the tunnel! Only 7 hours to go ?

Lol well I am a local !!

And here’s the other reason I wouldn’t move back here. Been stuck in this for an hour so far. It’s the weekend ffs!

You’d easily get that here.

I’m sure we’re not in the minority ?

Keep up! Different wall tiles and mosaics have white grout ?

Anything that doesn’t survive being sprayed with bleach and rubbed to death is a no no in a bathroom ?

One reason I won’t be in much of a hurry to come back to this part of the world when I move back ...

Well maybe but I just looked at where the plumber lives. In Orpington, not the most expensive part, not the cheapest. 250k for a 1 bedroom flat, 3 bed semis are upwards of 500k. So you can see why fees vary TBH.

You know it makes sense. The land of milk and honey ?

This is the solution to the midnight pee ? @Onoff wasn’t interested when I suggested it earlier though ? https://www.amazon.co.uk/Updated-Version-Activated-Nightlight-Battery-Operated/dp/B01HGGOTVG

He was there way longer than an hour though. As in, assess boiler to determine problem, drive to Orpington and back to collect fan (an hour for the round trip), fit fan and run safety checks. He was deffo there for 4.5 hours all told so I’m not toooo bothered about the initial charge. It doesn’t sound like anyone will do a job round there for less than that tbh. I’m a bit concerned by this however . Does this mean that there might still be an issue once he’s fitted this ‘valve’ thing? He deffo said the word valve on the phone. He said £120 for the part, £80 for the callout plus vat so all told I reckon it will be circa £720. Still less than £1800 mind. I will ask bruv to get the invoices and say we need evidence that it’s not carrying a fault for the service contract. It does state that it has to start fault free in the T&Cs anyway. Jesus Christ why is nothing ever straightforward in my world?

And the verdict ... Fan had packed up. New guy went and got a new one and fitted it. He turned up at 12.30 and left at 5 and it was £400 plus vat. That was fine. That’s not the end of the saga however. He called us and said that after running the gas safety checks he needs to run after a repair it failed because it was leaking carbon monoxide at low flame (not high) so it needs a valve to be replaced or something and he needs to leave the boiler switched off until then. He’s coming back on Mon to do that. This is unconnected to the fan failure so looks like that was a blessing. He said that he didn’t think a new boiler was warranted in this case but he said that they generally look at what the parts would cost and if it starts getting above 500 plus vat they look at whether a new boiler is a better option. A new boiler would be 1800 - 2000 so sounds like that’s the going rate for Sevenoaks. He also suggested that a British Gas service contract was taken out. She used to have one. God knows why it got cancelled. She also said ‘oh I’ve got a plug in carbon monoxide detector somewhere, wonder where I’ve put it’ ???????

What episodes are you missing as they’re not on Now TV or Amazon Prime Video so I think your only option may be the ‘dodgy’ sites?

JUST BEFORE YOU START TILING AND DON’T TAKE EONS TO FINISH IT.

Already mentioned above