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The Butterfly Effect


epsilonGreedy

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“And?” I prompted, ”that’s it” she said. Thus a corner of a green English field enhanced by some royal snowdrops was destined to become a Welshman’s first self-build.

 

The unexpectedly abbreviated list was a list of life-sustaining features she deemed absolute move-in must-haves for our minimum viable new home. When a woman falls in love with a building plot it is surprising how few luxuries she deems essential to swing the deal with her master builder to be.

 

I have been a reasonably competent master & commander of a middle size 35ft sailing yacht in recent years though beyond that claim I am a jack of zero trades. Early encounters with the good denizens of the BuildHub forum tarred me as a hopelessly naive computer programmer fit for little more than making tea onsite. Some forum luminaries offered encouragement and suggested that with sufficient aptitude my career as a selfbuilder could see promotion to building site chief portaloo cleaner.

 

A period of financial scrutiny followed acceptance of my offer on the plot. The sale of the yacht had released funds to build to about shoulder height and money from a previous house sale would buy a roof, windows and staircase. Beyond that I will need to dispel the notion I am a chinless wonder of a self-builder otherwise this whole project might become a millstone around my neck and by winter 2018/19 it would be a cold unoccupied millstone.

 

Heritage is a double-edged sword for a house builder, some nearby castle ruins come at a cost. Our new conservation officer is reputed to wield a fearsome sword according to local village lore. The build material costs will be loaded with conservation extras such as a slate roof, cute bricks that I suspect were rejects during the building of Hampton Court or Euro Disney and sash windows. At least the royal snowdrops were free.

 

Looking back to the beginning of the year our transition from house hunters to self builders was a spontaneous event triggered by some cheerful rural birds on a cold January Sunday afternoon, back then the “Beast From The East” meant the local conservation officer. Just four months ago we were searching for a regular house complete with a roof and front door key. And now, as I write the first entry in this saga, we own a plot with detailed planning permission for a modest 1500 sq ft house fit for Jane Austen. I should also report that the science behind the butterfly effect is incomplete as it should include birdsong.

 

p.s. Does anyone know what a dormant snowdrop looks like? I need to effect my own conservation before the JCB moves in.

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Not sure why computer programmers are considered fit to make tea... it’s a skilled job, you know?

 

The trick with snowdrops is to wait for spring and notice where they are growing ?.

Edited by Ferdinand
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Good luck with the build. There is a new thread on making tea so your first skill to perfect ;)

 

Dormant snowdrop are bulbs so good luck with locating them and replanting! Unless they still have some leaves you are a bit fecked lol. They also don’t like getting dry so you’ll need to have somewhere new to put them immediately after digging them up if you locate them! 

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4 hours ago, newhome said:

They also don’t like getting dry so you’ll need to have somewhere new to put them immediately after digging them up if you locate them! 

 

 

These snowdrops are hardy critters having survived a three country journey from the Sandringham Estate to the middle of Lincolnshire. A few years ago the seller of the plot shipped some spoil back home following a job on the estate and the bulbs self seeded on my building plot. Anyhow thanks for the horticultural tip, I will ensure the scraped off topsoil is dumped in a shaded corner of the plot.

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So, this list of luxuries - is it fixed and has this been agreed in writing?  Just saying.

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Yes would love to know what your better half has sealed the deal with, personally I only asked for one thing as a must have but since I’m the keeper of the budget I’m sure I’ll can sneak a few more in

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I started with hope and joy and a few modest must haves......2 years on older, poorer and possibly wiser I was just desperate to get to the end. Of my must haves some are here and some are not. I learnt to my cost that unattended builders take the easy route which does not necessarily facilitate the must haves and then it can be impractical, impossible or just too expensive to undo what has been done. You need a padlock on your wallet and eyes in the back of your head...oh and give up the day job. Its what I ended up having to do as things were clearly going wrong. I have no experience of managing contractors some (most) took advantage of my inexperience and some (very few) were really nice.

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53 minutes ago, lizzie said:

I started with hope and joy and a few modest must haves......2 years on older, poorer and possibly wiser I was just desperate to get to the end. Of my must haves some are here and some are not. I learnt to my cost that unattended builders take the easy route which does not necessarily facilitate the must haves and then it can be impractical, impossible or just too expensive to undo what has been done. You need a padlock on your wallet and eyes in the back of your head...oh and give up the day job. Its what I ended up having to do as things were clearly going wrong. I have no experience of managing contractors some (most) took advantage of my inexperience and some (very few) were really nice.

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Although it has to be said the only one's that really took the p was the guy who was my main contractor and that is because his confidence by far outweighed his ability as a project manager and as a man manager as his team totally took the p too.  They were getting a day rate and didn't care if they were sat half the day in the garage because it was raining.  

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18 minutes ago, Hecateh said:

Plus 1

Although it has to be said the only one's that really took the p was the guy who was my main contractor and that is because his confidence by far outweighed his ability as a project manager and as a man manager as his team totally took the p too.  They were getting a day rate and didn't care if they were sat half the day in the garage because it was raining.  

 

I would be really peed off it I was charged a day rate for someone sitting on their arse. We had a few here who tried it on. Turned up at gone 10 and wanted to knock off at just after 3 having taken a lunch break too so they only worked about 4 hours. When they invoiced hubby paid them for half days and told them to GTF :ph34r:. They were inside workers too so no excuse re the weather. 

 

I was desperate to get to the end after more than 8 years believe me! There were some really great people here (a few) but I did feel that I was taken advantage of by some when I was here on my own trying to get things finished, especially during the long running heating saga. I also paid 1k for a joiner who was here for 2 half days fairly recently because I had agreed a price for the job. Had I understood how long it would take I wouldn't have agreed to that. He left a hell of a mess too that took me hours to clean up. 3 rooms covered in sawdust as he just sawed the stuff where he stood. 

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19 hours ago, vivienz said:

So, this list of luxuries - is it fixed and has this been agreed in writing?  Just saying.

 

 

There has been some mission creep already, for example she did not originally contest the notion that we could shower at a local gym prior to getting a finished bathroom in order to advance the move-in date a month or two. I have now added a free standing bath with cold and hot water to the move-in specification but so far she has neglected to clarify that the bathroom will have 4 walls ?

Edited by epsilonGreedy
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