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Turning self-build stress on its head: 1


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A quick review of BH (and other self-build sites) shows a close correlation between any part of the self-build process and the onset of  what we - and many others -  would call stress. And not just minor, ignorable levels of stress either. We can easily list the triggers, and we can describe the symptoms. And to an extent we can all do something about them.

But reading between the lines in many posts, I see uncomfortable levels of irritation and annoyance. Most of us don't describe it in the posts as stress,  but that's what it is. 

 

So I thought I would offer links to a set of publicly available resources which might help us. Truth to be told, they have helped and are helping me: I'm just sharing them.

 

Where possible and when time allows, I'll write a quick synopsis to help you decide whether you want to spend the time listening to  it. Treat my synopsis with respectful criticism, please. My notes on what he says will be as selective as any.

 

This post will be one of a series.

 

This is a video of Jordan Peterson talking about risk taking.

  • Stress is normal (1:00)
  • Observe courage in yourself ( Catch yourself being good, effective) (1:30)
  • Attempting something difficult is generally  good for you - but perhaps not always
  • Lift your aim up,  attempting difficult stuff is a good way of encouraging mastery
  • Proving yourself to be useful is a very positive thing - among those who recognise your efforts as helpful (2:50) If not, the opposite is the case
  • Inform yourself about the challenge ahead, and then grasp it (3:36)
  • Small, manageable  challenges successfully faced make you braver, not less afraid. (4:20)
  • The unknown is adventure - and might be habit forming (5:15) 

 

Jordan Peterson is a practising clinical psychologist and an academic at the University of Toronto: I refer to him because his remarks are evidence-based. It would also be fair to say that he is seen by many as controversial.

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You may cover it later but I would add that Procrastination is a terrible form of 'being'. Procrastinating can lead to far more stress than the problem at hand. I know this from experience - you procrastinate over something difficult, put it off, find other things to do that's all good and productive, but at the back of the mind is the knowledge that you have something to do you perceive as difficult. The reality has always been that procrastination makes the task appear much much worse. When you know you are procrastinating, you have started fighting the battle.  When you actually start the delayed task, you soon realise it's not that bad at all and a cloud lifts. 

 

LIke my recent tiling mosaics - I was dreading it, the task got worse and worse, I imagined all the ways I could balls it up. I eventually realised what I was doing. I knew I wanted some head spaces and decided that I would start on X-date - and once I restarted, it was no bother at all. Procrastinate away, but if you know when you are doing it, it will help control worry and dread. It's when you procrastinate but don't know you a re doing it you can create stress. 

 

So, if anyone here has a task they are dreading, consider that you have already been procrastinating long enough and now start planing for it - the sooner you start doing it, the sooner a load will lift from your mind. 

 

 

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I wholeheartedly agree with @jamiehamy, although in my case the procrastination ALWAYS involves clearing up!  I ended up with so much crap lying around that I just can't really get on with anything, and then put off having a major clear up session. 

 

I spent much of yesterday clearing up and putting stuff away to make room to finish off my study, and feel a great deal better for it.  I really wish I could get into the habit of clearing up at the end of each day, but I can't, I just want to get a bit more done, and that then leaves no time for a clear up................

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10 minutes ago, JSHarris said:

I wholeheartedly agree with @jamiehamy, although in my case the procrastination ALWAYS involves clearing up!  I ended up with so much crap lying around that I just can't really get on with anything, and then put off having a major clear up session. 

 

I spent much of yesterday clearing up and putting stuff away to make room to finish off my study, and feel a great deal better for it.  I really wish I could get into the habit of clearing up at the end of each day, but I can't, I just want to get a bit more done, and that then leaves no time for a clear up................

Oh yes, I concur with this too! It's amazing the feeling of progress a good tidy up does, but as you say - I want to do a but more and no time to clear up! I think I use these exact words to Craig!

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All suggestions really welcome.  I want to link to resources that have

  • a high-quality  evidence-base for their assertions,
  • easily accessible in terms of readability and audibility
  • have practical application to self building
  • are concise and well-edited
  • have obviously high production values

The points about tidying up have sparked an idea....... laters!

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6 hours ago, JSHarris said:

  I really wish I could get into the habit of clearing up at the end of each day, but I can't, I just want to get a bit more done, and that then leaves no time for a clear up................

I can't work in a mess so either I clear up as I go along(what I usually do), at the end of the day or the beginning of the next day. The BCO always says he has never been to such a tidy site. Even when I'm painting I don't get any on me and my mate can't understand how it's possible. We're all different and what works for one, doesn't for another.

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For me stress is about feeling something is out of control  - taking / getting control is the stress reducing strategy I use.

 

In the past I have used people and resources connected to www.isma.org.uk Loads of resources.

 

For the building trade there was a survey by the CIOB back in 2006 - so long in the tooth now but nonetheless interesting HERE.

 

 

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15 hours ago, recoveringacademic said:

 

I'm guessing 99.99% of all BH folk can't either.    Unless you don't paint with a roller

If painting with a roller don't go at it like a mad thing. Roll more slowly and if doing a ceiling, roll in front of you, not above your head. :)

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