IKEA: Swedish Ryanair innit?

[ToughButterCup]

How can a simple job, like connecting tubes (or connecting holes, whichever way you think of it) be made so unecessarily complex? Did we really put someone on the moon? Cos if we did (and that's by no means certain) IKEA had nowt to do with it.

 

Need an extra little widget to deal with your dishwasher waste?  

 

Certainly sir that'll be £5. 

 

Fanx. Now,  got it in stock? 

Yessir: Warrington

 

Tickety Boo. Lets pay for it then..... > Wha ? Don't deliver? 

'S ok, you can pick up locally 

Great > Wha ? Oh, you can't.

 Need to fetch it from Warrington .

Grrrrrrrrr. OK then. OK, I'll pay for it

 

Wha? £10, not £5 like you advertised

Yessir, its for the priviledge of picking it up from Warrington.

 

Get to Warrington at sparrow fart.

No, its not here, its at our storage facility  Grrrrr.  Wheres'at then?

 

Hidden in the unmentionable depths of wild Warrington is a secret, totally hidden facility - no sign - just empty IKEA boxes blowing in the wind.

 

Ya' awraaaaght mert?  says the spotty thing with an eye patch.

He's standing at the in front of a pile of packages - probably a few hundred of them -  waiting for saps like me to turn up to collect.

 

Get many people in here to pick up their stuff?

 

 Naaahh. 'An wen vey does vey's yooshally  spittin' hair and nails.

 

And they have  the sheer bare faced temerity to put their Zero Tolerance Policy on the homepage of their website.

 

 

 

 

Is there any point?

First world problem innit. I'm being totally unreasonable. Again.

 

[daiking]

8 minutes ago, ToughButterCup said:

 

 

Get to Warrington at sparrow fart.

No, its not here, its at our storage facility  Grrrrr.  Wheres'at then?

 

Hidden in the unmentionable depths of wild Warrington is a secret, totally hidden facility - no sign - just empty IKEA boxes blowing in the wind.

 

 

Is this somewhere different to the collection point round the corner off the Audi roundabout?

[joe90]

1 hour ago, ToughButterCup said:

Need an extra little widget to deal with your dishwasher waste?  

surely it’s  not only available from IKEA ?, can you post what you require!

Edited November 27, 2020 by joe90

[Ferdinand]

Why don't they deliver?

 

My local Ikea says it does deliver.
 

What is it about your bit of Lancashire that has scared them off?

 

 

Shoulda called it "Hampster Cottage".

 

 

 

[ToughButterCup]

3 hours ago, daiking said:

Is this somewhere different to the collection point round the corner off the Audi roundabout?

 

I'm not sure: I was given a post code to go to: no address. I asked for one, but.....

 

1 hour ago, Ferdinand said:

Why don't they deliver?

My local Ikea says it does deliver.

What is it about your bit of Lancashire that has scared them off?

 

Yes: thats exactly my point: it says that , but  when you go through the whole routine, the final dialogue box says that they don't deliver. 

The final straw was the ' Zero Tolerance Policy ' placed so prominently on the home page.

 

For me that is psuedo-code for  'Our-systems-piss-so-many-of-you-off-that-we-need-to-tell-you-to-calm-down-when-we-dont-do-what-we-say-we'll-do.'

And the lad at distribution point telling me that many customers  are spitting hair and nails by the time they get to him lends credibility to my theory.

[joth]

Oh their website is a disaster. I spent three days putting the exact same items in my basket and randomly getting different errors for: some out of stock for delivery, out of stock for collection, simple "we can't deliver this order", random error "can't add item to bag" when trying to delete items, yes we can deliver it but oh no there's no slots available.

So I almost gave up and ordered a commercial sink stand (for utility room) and then suddenly yesterday morning is spurted to life and let me order it.

"We'll send two trucks, one Friday (today) and one Monday"

This morning arrives with 2x SMS and an email saying today's delivery has been rescheduled for Monday.

But 30 mins ago I got a call from the driver saying he'll be there within the hour.

To the building site I'm now not at today.

 

sigh. I guess some subset of stuff may arrive in some unexpected state on day.

 

Almost as bad as the Bora hob Tuesday, arriving a month early with no notice of being dispatched. 

Guy at the door of our (temporary) home "I've got a pallet with 150kg on it for you!"

me: WTF? "Wrong address!" (thinking it's flooring)

us: argument

eventually him: "I have no idea what it is, let me see. From Germany. Kitchen appliance? Yeah see, 27kg"

 

me: WTF again.

me: (eying the massive hole in the box). "It's been dropped"

him: "no it hasn't". "That's how we received it". "It's fine, we're always delivering Boras and I'm a world expert in them"

 

Sigh.

 

 

 

[ToughButterCup]

Well, @joth , in a horrible,  uncomfortable way,  I'm pleased it's not just me.  

 

By turns I laugh,  cry, grizzle, fume, joke, write, about lack of connected thinking on the part of people whose salary I pay. Not long ago I would have been hauled over the coals for producing an online experience such as the one dished up by IKEA.  

And to point out the Zero  Tolerance Policy so prominently just beggars belief. 

[Ferdinand]

3 hours ago, ToughButterCup said:

 

I'm not sure: I was given a post code to go to: no address. I asked for one, but.....

 

 

Yes: thats exactly my point: it says that , but  when you go through the whole routine, the final dialogue box says that they don't deliver. 

The final straw was the ' Zero Tolerance Policy ' placed so prominently on the home page.

 

For me that is psuedo-code for  'Our-systems-piss-so-many-of-you-off-that-we-need-to-tell-you-to-calm-down-when-we-dont-do-what-we-say-we'll-do.'

And the lad at distribution point telling me that many customers  are spitting hair and nails by the time they get to him lends credibility to my theory.

 

Have to admit that I really object to paying for click and collect, so I normally get it via the showroom.

 

When they are open.

[ProDave]

I am fuming at todays attempts at ordering "Black Friday deals"  The world has indeed gone mad.

[daiking]

1 hour ago, Ferdinand said:

 

Have to admit that I really object to paying for click and collect, so I normally get it via the showroom.

 

When they are open.

If he waited till next week, he could even go in the cafe. Lovely view of the M62 

[Oxbow16]

I think I'm with you on most points.  I've had my share of terrible customer service and online shopping experiences of late - the worse being with Toolstation, Europcar and M&S.  All totally shambolic.

 

23 hours ago, ToughButterCup said:

And to point out the Zero  Tolerance Policy so prominently just beggars belief. 

 

But can't agree with you here.  Why should the underpaid overworked minions be the punchbag for what should be aimed at the people well above them?  Don't shoot the messenger and all that.  I increasingly think nowadays that the best you can do is vote with your feet/wallet.  Might cost a little more, might be a tad more inconvenient, but - as mentioned above - these are all first world problems and might be worth enduring to support companies who give a sh!t and boycott those who don't.