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The Best Excuses you've heard


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I'm suffering with a professional whose performance as a ducker and diver rivals that of the average dolphin. He's trotted out some pretty good excuses, mostly of the 'dog-ate-my-homework' type. The latest is 'the-system-ate-your-email'

What's the best excuse you've heard?

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I've just been lumped with a new apprentice. Straight out of school and you would be amazed how many things are "impossible" or "just wouldn't fit" , blunt knife, the drill slipped, the level's out, 

 

All he really needs to say is "I fu*ked it up. and I don't know what I'm doing wrong", instead he reams off some BS that he doesn't realise I tried on my teacher years ago and he didn't accept it either. 

literally 2 hours ago I got told that it's because the Bhaco knife has got too big a shoulder on it for him to cut plasterboard straight :D.......

GGGGRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrr why do they keep giving me apprentices?

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I try, But I just don't think I'm a good person to teach while working to a deadline, he's still settling in and in time hopefully he will get better, 

AFAIC I'm still trying to learn how to do this building malark, and am not really in a position to teach, but unfortunately the boss and the college seem to think differently

 

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1 hour ago, Construction Channel said:

GGGGRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrr why do they keep giving me apprentices?

Because the draconian, outdated, defunct, corrupt, not fit for purpose Construction Skills levy leaves your boss little choice than to try and reap back the indirect taxation that it is!

I'm not saying that apprenticeships are bad, far from it. But the way its run by CSkills is terrible. And from next year they've found an even better way to force you into NVQ's too with the introduction of the skills specific card. Yet another way to keep the machine oiled!

Sorry, rant over!

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When it comes to craft teaching, you have to explain everything, usually show it a few times, help them for the first few, and then make it absolutely clear that if they are unsure, they have to ask.

What you should not do is assume that they can transfer skills right away.

Every day, spend 10 minutes at the start and explain whet they are going to help you with.  Just like school/college, you recap on what you last did and explain what you are going to do today.

 

I always tried to add a bit of maths and science as I went along too.  It often confused, but they will think you are pretty clever and you get a bit more respect as it looks like you care.

Edited by SteamyTea
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9 minutes ago, SteamyTea said:

When it comes to craft teaching, you have to explain everything, usually show it a few times, help them for the first few, and then make it absolutely clear that if they are unsure, they have to ask.

 

The carpenter I've used a fair bit always says "you caint learn in boy" :D

He also uses one of my favorite expressions when asked to do something tricky............. "I'll give it a good coat of lookin at" :D

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A mate of mine Father was the 'Man from Delmonte", well not really, he worked for the South African Fruit Exchange.  When we had the miners strike on in 1984/5, someone that owed money said the cheque must have been delayed because they used the empty coal trucks, on the return journey, to transport the mail.  I liked that.

There was a song about a lazy bloke that made up excuses, being bitten by a snake, was one of them.

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/beautifulsouth/fromunderthecovers.html

Edited by SteamyTea
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