ToughButterCup

Good to know that we're both fekkin' eejits. Debbie always ( and gently ) says .... "Nothing to be done about it tonight even if there was a leak" It's all the fault of that cracked tile we had years ago, let in a drop or two. Of to the quack tomorra to get treatment for my PTSD.

In the pub - picture the scene - a few pints in and my best mate is talking about our build to another of his mates - I'm listening. He turns to me and says.... "Well you tell him what it's like to self build , errmmmm in one sentence " (how well he knows me) That shut me up good and proper. What's your one sentence answer ? What did I say? Told them to read Buildhub, especially @Onoff and then at the other end of the scale @Pocster See, yer man was wanting to start a self-build . Oh FFS.

Every single non-professional self builder is somewhere on the paranoid scale. Don't care what they might say in public .... Some hide their problem well, others not. I don't. It's wet innit. Small wet patch in our hallway. I see it and immediately look up at the ceiling above the wet patch. SWMBO looks at me more in sorrow than anything and says... "Our puppy can't pee from up there can she ... ya dickhead.... "

This case appears to me to be simple. IF the work is Permitted development - IF- and nobody in authority (other than those working on your behalf) has written to you formally to require a bat survey then one is not required. Without that formal requirement, all discussion about the issue is mere chit chat - including the hearsay related by your architect. For all you know he (she) misunderstood the context in which the ecologist referred to 'requirements' If it's not on an official piece of paper in your hands, it isn't an issue.

I (erm, we..😳) fitted ours so long ago I have forgotten how we did it. But I do remember fitting some of it in a thunderstorm. How tired of living were we ! In answer to your point @Oz07, you can rest a ladder on it, it sounds nice in the rain and you can't hear it expand and contract in the sun as happens on our cottage. Thanks everyone. Tomorrow's job. 😑

I've watched their videos and looked at the tradesman and thought they forgotten more than I know about how to do this. It's how they support the work that is so skilled. I'm going to have to set up a work table to hold the downpipe in place while I cut it. I am ashamed deeply deeply ashamed to have to admit here in front of millions of people that I have not got a hacksaw. But now that I come to think about it one of my children will have stolen it. Ah well it's an ill wind that blows nobody any good, so here's the excuse for another trip to the builders merchant. Knowing them they won't have the size I need will they? 😑

fekkin' it up... I have some metal Lindab downpipe that needs to be cut - to install a diverter to a water butt. I'm happy about marking it out (use a downpipe bracket) , but I'm hesitant about cutting it. Why? 'Cos it's thin. Once it's been deformed (by me grabbing it and trying to keep it still) it never goes back into shape properly. Anyone know how to cut it cleanly without bending it at the same time? I've looked on Tinternet and on Lindab's own site without much success. Hence this post.

SmartLife is an app designed for the control and management of smart devices. How the industry has the temerity to brand itself 'smart' ... Just a quick look at Reddit and other forums show the one thing the IoT is not - is smart. The sector is where video recording was 25 years ago - on our knees swearing at the teeny-weeny display, and failing to record our favourite program. I've just thrown 3 SMART plugs in the bin. FeckUmAll. Every fukkinoneovem.

Now you tell me. Could have done with that advice before I tried to mend the SWA cable I pulled up (and snapped) with the digger. Mind you if I'd taken all the advice so generously offered on this site I'd have finished our build long ago. Instead I break stuff and then - when furious with myself for being so stoopid - I read the instructions. Our electrician came out and mended the SWA for me one freezing Bank Holiday evening 20 minutes after I'd rung him. James at CEPS

That must have been a difficult post to write @DTL.... Well done for stepping away from a difficult problem - difficult because so much emotion is invested in buying a house and not just money. All may not be lost. You stepping away from purchase might just result in the vendors rethinking their sales strategy.

No foul drainage, no house. In its current state (if I understand the current situation correctly [ no foul drain and an obvious problem])) the house is close to worthless.

At this late stage my advice - based on bitter experience is - read my signature line.

Our SUDS offering is very simple. Duct all the roof water into two rain gardens. Overflow from the rain gardens goes into a pond. Overflow from that leaches into a bog garden. Any LPA official even slightly interested? Yawn. Newts, toads, frogs, dragonflies, mayflies, midges, swallows, flycatchers, grandchildren all love it.

Yes. 10 years later, I'm still recovering from the trauma. Not joking.

New glasses... thats the one Suddenly my laser level only had one line - not two .... ugh