ToughButterCup Posted July 4, 2018 Share Posted July 4, 2018 Who says roofing doesn't pay? The retired roofer of my acquaintance turns up in his sleek drop-head Merc. Smelling of new leather, a spec of dust here and there, he daintily alights from his car. Rather like a catwalk model, he removes his shades (driving shades you understand, not the roofing shades he uses), puts them in their case, and changes from his bordello-ready driving shoes to his work boots. He's brought his retired mate along fer 't 'craik - laak. A small piece of carpet ( a sample piece) is dropped on the dusty drive, and the bordello-creepers are neatly dropped, side by side, in the exact middle of the carpet . Whassa matter? I ask: Had a bad day? Wodjer mean? Shoes, I say, pointing at them. They are pointing North - South and not East - West like the other roofers who visit here. A big grin. The piss-taking had started before he got to the scaffold . The next hour was going to be fun. Tha's got sum rewfin called Noooooluck, I 'ere. Nulok, I counter. Ya wut? Nulok, Jim. He reaches up to his forehead ostensibly to push his hair back. In reality, he switched his hearing aid on. His mate does the same. Now that, that's a real compliment. They are both listening - or attempting to. More than I get from the average teenager. So I dig the bits and bobs out and he looks at them. Wha's 'at grewve fer then? (top of the image) Dunno, mate says I. Then a gentle sucking sound: the old fogey's sucking his teeth clean, I conclude. Wha's 'at nick fer then? (bottom of the tile) Dunno, mate says I. 'Eeeer, sin this? Wha? The back of the tile does indeed have the word Happiness emblazoned on its surface. You couldn't make it up could ya? I mean, just imagine being the tool maker for the mould in which the tiles are made...... Oh, by the way , the customer wants you to engrave the letters H A P P I N E S S on the back of the mould. Ya wot? Yew avin' a laugh? If it had been me I would have been sorely tempted to change it slightly: but in present company I'd better not write it down. Just ask yourself: how would a French person tend to pronounce Happiness? ..... Remembering that they don't pronounce the letter H. On to the battens They're not messin' abart are they? Why metal? Dunno says I. Tha' dun't knaw much duz ya....... He has a point. And I've delved round 'tinternet for hours as you will suspect. After they both left (of which more in the next post) I came up with this Installation_manualUSA.pdf Something new to get my DIY head into. The current Nulok videos are for advertising purpose, I think. As they left, because the roof of the car was down (they must both have had fond memories of when they were on the pull, I think) I noticed them both surreptitiously switching their hearing aids off. Bless them. Here's looking forward to their return. Installation_manualUSA.pdf 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mick kelly Posted March 8, 2019 Share Posted March 8, 2019 I have a nu lok roof I put up myself 10yrs ago. Have you put yours up yet ?? There’s a few discrepancies with the Aussie site I’d like to warn u about, as we roof differently over here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferdinand Posted March 8, 2019 Share Posted March 8, 2019 (edited) On 04/07/2018 at 09:06, recoveringacademic said: Happiness Feng shui? (As opposed to Feng Hooey, or Hong Kong Phooey) It’s that Friday Feeling... Edited March 8, 2019 by Ferdinand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Neil Posted March 8, 2019 Share Posted March 8, 2019 soooooo - What are the benefits so far as you guys see it over normal batten and slate? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Neil Posted March 8, 2019 Share Posted March 8, 2019 price, speed?? if you have PV do you still use the steel battens instead of wood or just use the steel where the slates are involved? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mick kelly Posted March 8, 2019 Share Posted March 8, 2019 Hi Neil, mines up ten yrs now and after five storms and a hurricane I’ve not lost a slate yet !! Price savings on slates are counter balanced by additional cost of clips. But the real massive saving is cost of the labour. My lowest quote was 15000 for a conventional roof including the slates. I did it with a roofer friend in five days. System cost me 6k. Labour and paslode nails another grand. 7k all in. The aussies state you can walk in the roof !! Load of bollox, you can NEVER walk on a nu lok roof. Also they provide 3clips for every 2 slates, but I discovered half way thru, 5 are needed. Apart from that it’s a magic system and I can see why roofers hope it never takes off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gone West Posted March 8, 2019 Share Posted March 8, 2019 16 minutes ago, Big Neil said: price, speed?? if you have PV do you still use the steel battens instead of wood or just use the steel where the slates are involved? Weight, because they only overlap in one plane. They use their 'own' PVs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mick kelly Posted March 8, 2019 Share Posted March 8, 2019 As regards the solar slates, I didn’t have that option then but I believe they are put in place the same way. You cannot mix metal with battens. The system works with clips !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gone West Posted March 8, 2019 Share Posted March 8, 2019 1 minute ago, Mick kelly said: The aussies state you can walk in the roof !! Load of bollox, you can NEVER walk on a nu lok roof. Also they provide 3clips for every 2 slates, but I discovered half way thru, 5 are needed. Depends how heavy you are I have walked up ours without breaking a tile, just think where the tile is best supported. On mine it's two clips per tile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeremy Harris Posted March 8, 2019 Share Posted March 8, 2019 As of now, it looks as if this company barely have a UK presence. It seems their UK business is being run from France and Australia, the Irish business seems to have folded and I can't find any other current UK business other than the one that seems to be based in France. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mick kelly Posted March 8, 2019 Share Posted March 8, 2019 Peter, the centre is a void and won’t take any weight. Like you, I know where to walk but in future anyone else stepping into it will surely snap one immediatrly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mick kelly Posted March 8, 2019 Share Posted March 8, 2019 JS- yes the Irish folded just as they were getting going in 2010. The crash finished them. They had problems getting roofers to learn the system. If it ain’t broken don’t fix it an all that !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gone West Posted March 8, 2019 Share Posted March 8, 2019 8 minutes ago, Mick kelly said: Peter, the centre is a void and won’t take any weight. Where the tiles butt up is supported by the channels, so I walk on the cracks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToughButterCup Posted March 9, 2019 Author Share Posted March 9, 2019 16 hours ago, PeterStarck said: [...] so I walk on the cracks. But, since I was six, I've been trained to do the opposite. Cos Carly Simon told me I'd be abducted by the bears (1.07). 4 tiles later, I unlearned the habit. Funny that innit? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gone West Posted March 9, 2019 Share Posted March 9, 2019 @recoveringacademic I like Carly Simon, but I can't see her . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToughButterCup Posted March 10, 2019 Author Share Posted March 10, 2019 Apologies @PeterStarck here she is - all yours for 3 minutes and 8 seconds. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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