ToughButterCup Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 Remember the retired feminist roofer? The one with the shoulders like an American footballer? If you dont, here's an introduction. Well Mel and his mate John turned up unannounced this afternoon, just as the sun filled the house with a golden glow. Our chickens eyed the newcomers for food. All of them lined up on the scaffold like 5 old hags doing their knitting and waiting for the severed heads to fall from the guillotine . None forthcoming. Crops packed as full as is Dolly Parton's , they could wait. Mel, the roofer is fastidious - perfect car - perfect haircut - perfect work jacket - but brothel creeper shoes which he proceeds to take off, place on a piece of carpet, and change into his work boots. Chickens eye one another and the shoes. John, Mel's mate, the retired medical photographer (Welsh, thus inevitably known as Evans the Snap) always smiling, always cautious, always combing his hair, always observant, notices first one, then the rest of hens hop off the scaffold and tip-toe nonchalantly towards Mel's shoes. Potential there, it seemed. Tha's meking a reet fookoop o' that staircase mert, said Mel. He was right. I hadn't a clue of how to actually build a staircase - beyond what a few hours looking at YT had taught me. Burt, tha's got them stringers raght: it's 't cummins' and goin's tha's got wrong. Wodja mean comings and goings? I asked. John busied himself choosing a Play List appropriate to the occasion - and then turning up the volume on my new Bluetooth speakers. For some reason he chose Gerry Rafferty: - '... cos if you get it wrong, you'll get it right next time... ' Miserable old git. Dont you mean tread and riser? I said falling straight into Mel's trap. Aye, laak ah said, cummin's and goin's, lad Between them, unbidden, John and Mel set to and built the staircase bottom to top. Between them, in their time they must have built a fair few staircases. And these -mine- are temporary. My God I learned a lot. Ah see Tea Lady's still ere said Mel to John at one stage. Gave them some of Debbie's cake too. So, I do take notice of what you say when I have an urge to do something stupid Walking out to the car -full of thanks and bonhomie - I noticed Mel had forgotten to change his shoes. So I ran back into the house and grabbed them. There, neatly placed inside the heel were two ForgetMeNots, one in each shoe. And not a chicken in sight. "I'll just pop these in the boot eh? " I said. "Cheers" and off they roared. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iSelfBuild Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 I live near you and I can't ever make head or tails of these accents you take off! Where are you finding these people ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProDave Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 Must be Rolo's mum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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