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SuDS: Sustainable Urban Drainage System and Off Mains Drainage. Here be Dragons. Call me naive, but here's how I found out that I had responsibilities in this area. That was in July 2014. And since then, I have been working on it sporadically - there has always been a brighter fire burning at my feet. But now that my EPS application has been delayed (please don't ask me for details: my doctor has told me not to talk about it ) I have bitten the SuDS bullet. Part of my strategy in dealing with the issues surrounding SuDS is to listen to interminable discussions at Parish level about local planning applications. For some reason - without rationale or considered argument - almost all housing development is held to be a bad thing. Not exclusively, you understand, but generally it's a bad thing. The Fylde Peninsular (where we live) was the dumping ground in that last Ice Age for a good deal of what became clay - Glacial Till. And that makes drainage difficult. And so soak-aways are a bit of a problem. Not to mention off mains drainage. And so when, at local level, with a good deal of huffing and puffing, opposition to development occurs, most of the opposition focuses on completely irrelevant issues such as this example. SuDS is a standard requirement. Off mains drainage (locally) and SuDS cannot be avoided. And if you can't sort out a soak-away because of the clay you can't have a house. And here's how the trap is set. The details for SuDS and Off Mains drainage are agreed at planning level, but enforced by your BCO. So -stupidly in my opinion- you can commit to all that expenditure and actually build the house but fail to provide the necessary documentary evidence until sign-off looms large. No SuDS, no off mains, no house . Not a lot of people know that. Quite why, I'm not sure.

and just like Bernard Cribbins, I'm left wondering how deep it should be? The job? Connect the outfall from the digester to the stream 100 meters away. Across a field that -in season- has cattle on it sometimes. I asked the farmer how deep he wanted it. He had no idea. I've looked at the Regs, and there appears to be no clear guidance. So, I'm asking you for advice, please. I'm thinking about the bloke in the bowler who might come along and scratch his head (0:28)

Let me take you with me on my first steps on the road to cynicism in the building sector. For some reason (sewage smells?) many people appear to delay attention to the soft and smelly until it’s either too late or until they’ve backed themselves into the smallest room in the house; and then, trousers round their ankles, they allow someone to lock the door from the outside. Evidence? Use the search terms refusal and percolation on our LPA website. ‘Refused pending percolation test results’ is all too common. Imagine then my incredulity when, on the recommendation of a colleague, a company turns up to do a ‘PERK test (mate)’ for a drainage field on our land. Just a bit of context…. we live in sight of what was a clay quarry, within cricket ball throwing distance in fact So, there might just be a bit of clay around “Yeah, that looks fine (mate) you’ll get a drainage field on here no bother” he says without so much as lifting a shovel. “Tickety boo ” I say. “Gonna do the percolation test then?” “Aye… I’ll get ‘t shovel from ‘t van” “Where’s your machine then?” I ask. “No need for one (mate)” “I’ll get the tea on then” . Tea duly made…. yer man’s gone A square foot of the turf has been gently disturbed in one spot, and carefully replaced. An alarm bell sounds in the dim, dark recesses of my brain. And instantly switches off. Time for the pub. Friday is International Party Night in our place. Monday – Here are verbatim copy and past unedited (anonymised) passages from the written report; …I can confrm [sic!] that we have carried out a porosity test to determine the suitability of the sub soil. The percolation results indicate that an excavation area of 23m2 for the sub surface irrigation system is required…. …Condition of soil: Loam soil to the base of the excavation…. …Number of excavations: No.3 trail [sic!] pits to a depth of 550mm…. …Percolation values: Pit 1 – 16 secs/mm. Pit 2 – 20 secs/mm. Pit 3 – 19 secs/mm. Average percolation value: 19 secs/mm…. (Condition of soil: Loam soil to the base of the excavation.) The briefest look at H2 Drainage Fields and drainage mounds page 31 to 33 shows the requirement for hole to be dug to 300mm below the intended invert (para 1.33 page 32). In our case that would be a two meter deep hole at least. So, trying to be fair, I suggest to the company that I pay for a properly constituted percolation test. Here’s part of the emailed response from the company . ..However [our report] would be based on the procedure we carried out [reported in the quotation above] to confirm the first report which we have done 100’s of times and never been questioned by Building Control/Planners once. Talking to a different company rep about the matter and he grins disarmingly. And tells the story of a completely built house without access to either off mains drainage or a sewer. Off-mains drainage can be a show-stopper, not a lot of people know that. If like me you aren’t a builder, there’s no substitute for reading and reading and reading.