Good questions actually, you got me thinking.
We are ready to ask for help when needed indeed. Like asking here for other people's experiences with Building Regs and others that will probably come up. Or hiring consultants for the things that we find our knowledge / time to handle lacking. We have hired a PD CDM, we have had a QS price things out; we have a friendly architect technician who we reach out to for questions (on a consulting basis). Someone from this forum is lending a hand with Windows/doors. We have a project Structural Engineer. We will be hiring a project manager that will be on site as needed when we cannot be.
We decided we'd make the time to handle all the design, diligently - including detailed plans, simulation, modelling, etc. The fact that we are both engineers in different fields means that, for example, the PH light/overheating problem, an optimization problem, is something that we are naturally attracted to and want to solve. Analysis skills, yep. Decision making, sure. Risk management, we both do that at work with projects regularly. Pragmatic choices, also check, and we have a very clear non negotiables that we will uphold through the project.
Since we became homeowners, I can say that I have developed the skills to manage the different trades and assess quality - as every other homeowner can probably attest to. And also when to ask someone to stop working if the quality of their work isn't up to scratch and they aren't minded to improve. Mind you, being a woman, this has taken a few by surprise over the years. At work, well, projects derail and need practical decisions all the time. So all good there too.
Are we biting off more than we can chew? Maybe - but it's a challenge we are willing to face head-on. We'll get help as and when needed - including from this forum! Y'all are already helping.
PS: my forum skills are still a work in progress, I was trying to split your questions in different quotes when I accidentally submitted !
PS2: @ToughButterCup... that moonlight comment has me wanting the house to be finished even more! Thank you!!!