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Hoist by my own petard.


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I have a good mate. Johnners.  Forgotten more about kitchen fitting and carpentry than I'll ever know.  Comes round now and then to 'inspect' mine. 

 

"Why dint'cha do this instead " he says pointing at some cockup or other of mine. I've learned that the correct response is,

"Because I'm not you ", then to pause and listen.

 

Inevitably a bit of gentle bickering ensues. Because I'm working on the front of the house,  sometimes one or two passers-by stop and some join in. Always take Johnners side. Why Ian, why?

 

Both of us have hips, knees,  backs, eyes, ears, teeth that have seen better days. Between us there's glasses , hearing aids , truss,  knee supports,  and general codgerliness aplenty. So, I had this sign made.

 

20210531_161758.thumb.jpg.f62ead0583b8b3d14f4bc4b42713957f.jpg

 

An attempt to explain and make light of our situation. 

 

Bad idea.

Next day, I fell off the ladder.

 

Onto SWMBO.

 

Result.

 

 

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13 minutes ago, ToughButterCup said:

Between us there's glasses , hearing aids

Just this morning, I got my 2 new pairs of glasses.

For the 4th time in a row they are not right.

So next week I am going back in to see them to get it sorted.

Every time they don't listen, I shall point to the Hearing Aid sign.

 

Falling off a ladder very rarely results in a broken neck (which, when I was a lad, was always fatal, until I broke mine) as the saying goes. But it is a right of passage, talking of which, did you show your passage off again, cause it may not be considered an accident this time.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m000wdgk

(This one has a serious message)

Edited by SteamyTea
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12 minutes ago, SteamyTea said:

Just this morning, I got my 2 new pairs of glasses.

For the 4th time in a row they are not right.

So next week I am going back in to see them to get it sorted.

Every time they don't listen, I shall point to the Hearing Aid sign.

 

Falling off a ladder very rarely results in a broken neck (which, when I was a lad, was always fatal, until I broke mine) as the saying goes. But it is a right of passage, talking of which, did you show your passage off again, cause it may not be considered an accident this time.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m000wdgk

(This one has a serious message)

Get ‘em lasered . I did . Though it of course reverts back as you age . 
It’s good fun .

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13 minutes ago, pocster said:

Get ‘em lasered . I did . Though it of course reverts back as you age . 
It’s good fun .

Can't, have had shiny acrylic put in to replace my old misty lenses.

Could get your name Lasered on them I suppose. Be a bit weird asking, but no different than you getting Banksy tattooing your arse. I heard that men drawing on men's behind is a Bristol thing.

Edited by SteamyTea
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2 minutes ago, SteamyTea said:

Can't, have had shiny acrylic put in to replace my old misty lensed.

Could get your name Lasered on them I suppose. Be a bit weird asking, but no different than you getting Banksy tattooing your arse. I heard that men drawing on men's behind is a Bristol thing.

As the expression goes ... “ up the brizzle ! “ ......... ?

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1 minute ago, nod said:

I recently worked with a decorator 

He told me he started his apprenticeship in 1963 and when his knees go He will just have to do skirting boards ?


 

PS

I think they way you have stuck at it Ian

and  learnt as you have gone along 

Is a shining example to all self builders 

and well worth anyone just starting out Looking back through your posts 

 

My friend who has sold me our next plots said “If I was ten years younger I’d have developed one of the plots myself “

Hes 54 and owns and runs a medium sized Groundwork’s company His yard is about half a mile from the plots

 

 

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Ian you have done so well despite life trying to bite you in the arse at times, shit happens and someone will always come up with an alternative,  like me ( as Frank Sinatra says) “ I DID IT MY WAY” and proud of it ?.

Edited by joe90
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Ah glasses.

 

I have a superb pair of distance glasses, from the optician, used mostly when driving so I can read the roadsigns at a sensible distance (mostly to correct astigmatism)

 

But do you think I can get a decent pair of reading glasses from the optician?  NO.

 

The present pair I took back because they were not "right" but they passed the "test" which is give you some small text, hold it at "reading" distance, can you read it?  Yes I can.  Then they are correct "reading" glasses nothing wrong with them.

 

But i can't read my computer screen because is is a little further away than "reading" distance, in fact the range of distance they work over is minute.

 

I pointed out my pound shop self select reading glasses work at book reading distance, work at computer screen distance, and even if I look across the room at say the tv, I can still pretty well focus on that.  What the pound stop glasses don't do is correct the astigmatism so are never going to be perfect.

 

When i explained all this I was told I need a specific set of "work" glasses but there is no NHS subsidy at all for these so prices would start at over £150  I declined and still use £ shop reading glasses.

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18 minutes ago, ProDave said:

have a superb pair of distance glasses, from the optician, used mostly when driving so I can read the roadsigns at a sensible distance (mostly to correct astigmatism)

We should start a new topic on this, most of us are middle aged.

Then we can get a better look at @ToughButterCup falling down a ladder.

I am sure I read that we can all go around and film the next time he does it.

Edited by SteamyTea
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I'm more careful when working on my own.

I don't know why I'm less careful when working with Debbie, but I am. Couple of years back my stupidity caused 50 - 60 pounds of concrete to drop, just missing her head.

I do love her, I really do. The funny thing is she says the feeling is still mutual. 

 

1 hour ago, SteamyTea said:

...

Then we can get a better look at @ToughButterCup falling down a ladder.

...

 

I over-reached at the top of the ladder. Because of the side-force, one side of it  slipped and started to rotate. I lost my balance. She ducked. I fell.

Hit and rolled off her back, and found myself tucked neatly in the foul drainage trench examining the cladding from below.

 

I didn't bounce.

Got through a lot of Paracetamol. And I must admit to eyeing the Tramadol left over from my little amputations.  It's still there for another day.

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8 hours ago, SteamyTea said:

Rehearse on your own, then we will bring the hearse. 

Surely one has to "hearse" first then "re-hearse"?  I guess you could "pre-hearse" before all that...

 

Rgds

 

Damon

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10 hours ago, ProDave said:

Ah glasses.

 

I have a superb pair of distance glasses, from the optician, used mostly when driving so I can read the roadsigns at a sensible distance (mostly to correct astigmatism)

 

But do you think I can get a decent pair of reading glasses from the optician?  NO.

 

The present pair I took back because they were not "right" but they passed the "test" which is give you some small text, hold it at "reading" distance, can you read it?  Yes I can.  Then they are correct "reading" glasses nothing wrong with them.

 

But i can't read my computer screen because is is a little further away than "reading" distance, in fact the range of distance they work over is minute.

 

I pointed out my pound shop self select reading glasses work at book reading distance, work at computer screen distance, and even if I look across the room at say the tv, I can still pretty well focus on that.  What the pound stop glasses don't do is correct the astigmatism so are never going to be perfect.

 

When i explained all this I was told I need a specific set of "work" glasses but there is no NHS subsidy at all for these so prices would start at over £150  I declined and still use £ shop reading glasses.

 

@ProDave Take a look at your prescription, specifically the "Add" number. that's the magnification the optician recommends adding to your base correction to get the reading prescription.

 

Go to one of the online providers, I use https://www.selectspecs.com/

the lab is in Hong Kong but the service is superb and they're cheap as chips; and when you're typing in your prescription, make the Add 0.5 or 1 less. Or both, they're so cheap, lol.

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When I had my last pair of glasses (bifocals) I held the “reading test” at arms length, optician asked me if this is how I held a book to read and I replied yes (does for computer, dashboard etc and is good fir books ) so just hold it further away!.

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my work glasses are actually my shooting glasses - and i find i wear them most of the time when out and working or driving as they  darken as it gets brighter +the lens are strong to  take  hits from things 

 but now I need a cataract doig in  the left eye --my master eye for shooting and i,m a lefty  -- so not much shooting going now till i get that done 

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1 minute ago, scottishjohn said:

now I need a cataract doig in  the left eye

I had mine done about 13 years ago.  You can ask to be 'set up' to be either short or long sighted.  The default seems to be long sighted.  Because I read a lot, I wish I had had short sighted lenses fitted, then you can just keep a pair of glasses in the car and not have to carry, or wear, glasses constantly.

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I tried varifocals but could just not get on with them at all, made me feel dizzy and could only read in the central area so reading a book meant constantly moving my head left and right. Was amazed by spec savers when I went back to ask to change back to bifocals who supplied bifocal lenses free of charge and even refunded the difference that varifocals cost ?

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